Wanting to get Caught

[solostand]

I have had two affairs as the OW. Not proud of it, but did it. The first affair lasted six months before a very traumatic d-day.

 

The current affair is still ongoing and has been for a year.

 

One thing I have noticed is both of these men seem to take extreme risks that could easily lead to getting caught.

 

The first one took me on public dates, at his own local, and introduced me as his girlfriend. His brother knew, as did friends of he and his wife. He would kiss me on the dance floor, hold my hand, and walk with his arm around me. He would take me to public places.

 

It made me wonder did he want to get caught. But when he did get caught (via phone call to his spouse) he did nc immediatly and the thing was over.

 

This time, he takes me public places, including to Canada Day festivities in his hometown, he holds my hand, takes me for long drives where we meet people we know, sits on the beach with me in front of his employees.

 

Why do some act like they want to be caught.

[whichwayisup]

Many are cocky and feel entitled to do as they please. They don't believe they will be caught. And if they are, they'll cover their own ass.

 

May I ask why you'd have another affair with a MM since you say you've been through a D-day before and it was traumatic? Why you'd do this to yourself again and after seeing the pain and devastation of a betrayed spouse, to knowingly put yourself in the same situation? I don't mean that meanly, it's more of why focus so much on the why's and how's of a MM when you should be focusing on your reasons to go through an affair and possibly experience another d-day fallout.

[solostand]

Slow learner. Mostly FOO self esteem issues to work out. Dont like available men. Prefer to be emotionally unavailable. Dont do well at committed relationships. I definitely should have learned my lesson the first time. Trying now to detach from second one. Kind of working maybe.

[UpwardForward]

Slow learner. Mostly FOO self esteem issues to work out. Dont like available men. Prefer to be emotionally unavailable. Dont do well at committed relationships. I definitely should have learned my lesson the first time. Trying now to detach from second one. Kind of working maybe.

 

Sometimes I think OWs feel MM have more going for them than available men. But there's nothing good to say for a man who even lies to himself.

[sweet_pea]

Sometimes I think OWs feel MM have more going for them than available men. But there's nothing good to say for a man who even lies to himself.

 

What does a married man have going for him that a single man doesn't, except for, ya know, being married?

[scatterd]

Funny how woman think married men have more going for them. They were single at one time also and if they have more going for them maybe its due to their wife.

Many single men can become husbands but to find a loyal one is what makes them a better catch. If he cheats on his wife he would do the same to OW. I think after marriage they are not as intimated by woman and learn what to say and not to say from experience from wife.Its also funny how some married people find single people so desirably.