Why do they never regret it?

[Sugarkane]

Why do they try harder with someone else? Why didn't this psycho dump this girl by text, harass her and cheat on her?

[Sugarkane]

I still wonder if I should've said something to those ex friends. You would think grown ups were more adult and wouldn't take sides like this. I still think a huge What if? If I said something. Instead of everyone thinking the sun shines out my exes butt. That's how they lie to the next girl. And blow smoke up a jerks butt.

Because we were not right for them... That's why they don't regret it.

 

My ex and I love each other very much - just in a different way now.

 

We don't regret the break up!

 

Not all couples end up so lucky as us, and one or both people grow to resent each other and never want to have anything to do with each other again.

 

I personally practice positive interactions with people around me. I avert the negative energy people give out, and keep interactions positive or walk away from them fast.

 

For your ex to turn your friends against you and other mean spirited stuff, have a look inside yourself and figure out WHY you overlooked the signs that these people were bad news and not nice people..

 

I try to only get involved with positive and kind people who seem very nice, and who have friends who are also seemingly lovely.

 

Some people put on a façade, however; most people who seem genuinely warm and genuine ARE. People like this DO NOT turn your friends against you and Fcck you over.

 

Most people are NOT uncaring monsters.

 

You just pick awful people, or people who are pretty hapless and apathetic and have very little empathy towards others.

 

Truly decent and nice people do not have selective empathy; where they treat u like poo and other people like gold.

 

u just picked a bad batch of men.

[Sugarkane]

I honestly hate taking the high road, when the dumper was allowed to be a complete **** to me. And dumped me by text then later gloated their life was better without me and more. With the harassment, I don't know why no one suggested going to The cops? Dumpers do.

??????????????

[Sugarkane]

Why does karma never get bad people?

[Fufu]

Dumped by text after a year because I couldn't read minds. Ex refused to talk to me. Told me to f*** off. How great after a year?! Been in NC 3 years and never broken contact. Told I couldn't communicate even though he dumped me by text.

Second ex dumps me because he "wanted to be single". Sends me breadcrumbs months later. Beggs to meet me. Then doesn't and blows up my phone with verbally abusive text messages. Everyone said go NC on here. I wish I had of gone to the police instead. Go on Facebook and he's got a new girlfriend. Then gloated he was doing better off without me! Great way to breakup with someone right?!

 

These Aholes always have a jump off no matter what. I guess if you can lie and cheat and play victim, you can get anyone to believe anything?

 

It's funny dumpees try so hard to apologize, yet I've never received one from the dumpers!

 

I'm sick of doing everything right, when the dumper never does.

 

 

There are too many versions of dumpers, but to me whatever it is they are done with the relationship and can't wait to get out.

 

People change, feelings change and it's pretty amazing that a couple seemed lovingly together and the next moment everything just turned opposite.

 

After experiencing some emotional break ups in my past relationships, I learned that we can never truly understand a person (sometimes not even ourselves), just have to accept and learn from each relationship mistakes and not to repeat them again for the next and hopefully the next will really be the final one.

 

Sometimes, I really think it is also blessings in disguise that we don't end up together with some of the exes. They felt we are unsuitable for them, so in this kind of situation, it will never be a happy relationship for long. I rather have a partner that adores me for who I am and will rather choose to "work things out" than to leave abruptly.

[Fufu]

Why does karma never get bad people?

 

I used to think about this too. But eventually I think why should I over worry about the people who don't care or mean anything to me. I will rather tell myself to do things conscience free.

[Fufu]

There are too many versions of dumpers, but to me whatever it is they are done with the relationship and can't wait to get out.

 

People change, feelings change and it's pretty amazing that a couple seemed lovingly together and the next moment everything just turned opposite.

 

After experiencing some emotional break ups in my past relationships, I learned that we can never truly understand a person (sometimes not even ourselves), just have to accept and learn from each relationship mistakes and not to repeat them again for the next and hopefully the next will really be the final one.

 

Sometimes, I really think it is also blessings in disguise that we don't end up together with some of the exes. They felt we are unsuitable for them, so in this kind of situation, it will never be a happy relationship for long. I rather have a partner that adores me for who I am and will rather choose to "work things out" than to leave abruptly.

 

To add on:

 

I went through the period of "hating my ex" for lying to me that he wanted to settle down with me but afterwards just kept postponing it and eventually dumped me out of the blue. I got over the "hating" and now have come to the final thoughts that the break up was a good thing. If we are not meant to be, then what for we force ourselves to be together. And I will be happy the time he truly find the right girl he wants to settle down with.

[Amelie1980]

We don't know they never regret.

 

Heck I've remembered recently a really nice guy I rejected after a few dates for no real reason. I don't know why I did.

[Sugarkane]

Absolutey agree with you. I don't know why the dumper is always allowed to take the low road.

I think dumpees become "psycho *******s" just as anybody else does: by being attacked and manipulated. Until you experience it first-hand, it's unfair to stand on the moral highground without living for three weeks with somebody who day and night is shutting you out of their thoughts except for the incessant blaming, resentment, nagging and judging. When someone is k icking you when you are down, and basically throws you on the street and somehow tries to make themselves a victim and look like the suffering martyr. Not all break ups are amicable and clean, some involve extreme demonizing of the dumpee, gaslighting and abuse.

 

As for my post specifically, I am clear that I was being shouted at in the car. I was being brutally berated, why does the dumpee *have* to remain the "bigger person" or stay "dignified" when they are being treated like sh*t? Everybody fights back in defense.

[Sugarkane]

I still regret taking the high road, like everyone said to on here. Then everyone took my exes side and will no doubt make him look like a good person to the next person and the cycle continues. By taking the high road no one cared and still think he's a great person and will no doubt still blow smoke up his butt.

[Simon Phoenix]

I still regret taking the high road, like everyone said to on here. Then everyone took my exes side and will no doubt make him look like a good person to the next person and the cycle continues. By taking the high road no one cared and still think he's a great person and will no doubt still blow smoke up his butt.

 

You feel bad because you are still focused on him. After all this time you still haven't directed the focus on you. That's the point of No Contact and moving on. Who cares if people still think he's good? Odds are that if he is bad, he'll piss them off eventually too. Either way, you keep staying stuck in the same muck because you still are completely focused on him.

[Confusedguy81]

I think it depends on the dumper. I had a gf that dumped me via text and I said that was pretty ****ty way of doing things. She called the next day and we talked. She called a week later and we talked. She then called again and I came to realize she was just looking to relieve her guilt or have some kind of friendly closure. She wanted to be friends (bull****). I just let her know that I don't do friendships with people I've dated. That was the end of that and its been no contact since. I think dumpers can feel bad considering the context of how the dumping takes place.

 

IMO

Text dumpers=heartless sociopaths

Phone/in person dumpers=want to relieve guilt and may have some kind of emotions towards you but who the heck knows

No longer contact you dumpers=dont know how to breakup without making it a big deal and are selfish.

 

I essence...I have no freaking clue.

[Sugarkane]

You feel bad because you are still focused on him. After all this time you still haven't directed the focus on you. That's the point of No Contact and moving on. Who cares if people still think he's good? Odds are that if he is bad, he'll piss them off eventually too. Either way, you keep staying stuck in the same muck because you still are completely focused on him.

 

I must be the exception on here because with all the "dumpers always get back to you", this has never happened to me since being dumped out of Tge blue, for no reason. Plus having everyone take his side on top of that. I'm tired of doing the right thing, what was the point? I'm starting to think people are no different to pack animals, as long as their part of the pack that's all that matters.

[Simon Phoenix]

I must be the exception on here because with all the "dumpers always get back to you", this has never happened to me since being dumped out of Tge blue, for no reason. Plus having everyone take his side on top of that. I'm tired of doing the right thing, what was the point? I'm starting to think people are no different to pack animals, as long as their part of the pack that's all that matters.

 

The point is to move forward on your own and stop looking back. You can't control others, you can only control yourself. The reason why you feel this stuff is because you keep looking back at him and keep hoping for something (though I'm not sure what). If he sucks, then why would you want him to come back in the first place? Your thinking makes absolutely little to no sense from that perspective.

[reddragon588]

I still regret taking the high road, like everyone said to on here. Then everyone took my exes side and will no doubt make him look like a good person to the next person and the cycle continues. By taking the high road no one cared and still think he's a great person and will no doubt still blow smoke up his butt.

 

Who cares what other people think. If they're blowing smoke up his ass, he's going to realize it eventually, and that's going to be ugly.

[Sugarkane]

It always reminds me of a similar experience where I was backstabbed and bullied by a girl. I once again took the high road, but everyone took her side and never spoke to me again. What gives? For some reason whenever I take the High road, I'm the one that ends up friendless.

Edited November 20, 2013 by Sugarkane

[Simon Phoenix]

It always reminds me of a similar experience where I was backstabbed and bullied by a girl. I once again took the high road, but everyone took her side and never spoke to me again. What gives? For some reason whenever I take the High road, I'm the one that ends up friendless.

 

Why would you want friends that take their side if they are the ones being bad? Why would you want to associate with those people?

[reddragon588]

It always reminds me of a similar experience where I was backstabbed and bullied by a girl. I once again took the high road, but everyone took her side and never spoke to me again. What gives? For some reason whenever I take the High road, I'm the one that ends up friendless.

 

I've been through some ****ty situations, and it shows you who your real friends are. Cherish those people and become closer to them.

[cavalier99]

It always reminds me of a similar experience where I was backstabbed and bullied by a girl. I once again took the high road, but everyone took her side and never spoke to me again. What gives? For some reason whenever I take the High road, I'm the one that ends up friendless.

 

I like you Sugarkane but i cant figure you out for the life of me. What are you so bitter about?.

 

You got dumped. We all did. Some got dumped in worse ways than others..but we have all been thru a lot of sh*t and at the end of the day it is all the same. It is over. Who cares about them anymore?? They arnt even worth mentioning. You need to let got of all the hate and start to live your life. Time to get living in the now. Cav

[greenfairie]

I think it depends on the dumper. I had a gf that dumped me via text and I said that was pretty ****ty way of doing things. She called the next day and we talked. She called a week later and we talked. She then called again and I came to realize she was just looking to relieve her guilt or have some kind of friendly closure. She wanted to be friends (bull****). I just let her know that I don't do friendships with people I've dated. That was the end of that and its been no contact since. I think dumpers can feel bad considering the context of how the dumping takes place.

 

IMO

Text dumpers=heartless sociopaths

Phone/in person dumpers=want to relieve guilt and may have some kind of emotions towards you but who the heck knows

No longer contact you dumpers=dont know how to breakup without making it a big deal and are selfish.

 

I essence...I have no freaking clue.

 

 

I broke up via text.. but we still kept seeing each other afterwards... does that make me a heartless sociopath?

[Sugarkane]

I like you Sugarkane but i cant figure you out for the life of me. What are you so bitter about?.

 

You got dumped. We all did. Some got dumped in worse ways than others..but we have all been thru a lot of sh*t and at the end of the day it is all the same. It is over. Who cares about them anymore?? They arnt even worth mentioning. You need to let got of all the hate and start to live your life. Time to get living in the now. Cav

 

Probably the bizarre situation of everyone taking my exes side ontop of everything. I still don't get it and felt like a doormat going NC. Its made me feel paranoid about future relationships. Having someone cut you off and happily turn everyone against you. Then reading opposite stories on here where people don't actually side with an Ahole.

[Sugarkane]

I like you Sugarkane but i cant figure you out for the life of me. What are you so bitter about?.

 

You got dumped. We all did. Some got dumped in worse ways than others..but we have all been thru a lot of sh*t and at the end of the day it is all the same. It is over. Who cares about them anymore?? They arnt even worth mentioning. You need to let got of all the hate and start to live your life. Time to get living in the now. Cav

 

This is like the second time I've taken the high road, only to have a group of people turn their backs on me.

[Simon Phoenix]

This is like the second time I've taken the high road, only to have a group of people turn their backs on me.

 

So what? Then they aren't worthy of being your friend. What exactly do you want? What is your goal? I have no idea why you are so concerned with people who aren't worth your time.

 

And honestly, you feel like a doormat because you make yourself a doormat. No Contact didn't make you a doormat, your ex didn't make you a doormat, your former friends didn't make you a doormat -- your utter lack of self-confidence and your overwhelming need to curry the favor of other people does. I mean, you rail on and on about this, but not once have you ever identified what you are looking to achieve, what your goal is, what you want out of life. You've just completely shut down and are bitter about anything and everything.

Edited November 21, 2013 by Simon Phoenix

[Sugarkane]

So what? Then they aren't worthy of being your friend. What exactly do you want? What is your goal? I have no idea why you are so concerned with people who aren't worth your time.

 

And honestly, you feel like a doormat because you make yourself a doormat. No Contact didn't make you a doormat, your ex didn't make you a doormat, your former friends didn't make you a doormat -- your utter lack of self-confidence and your overwhelming need to curry the favor of other people does. I mean, you rail on and on about this, but not once have you ever identified what you are looking to achieve, what your goal is, what you want out of life. You've just completely shut down and are bitter about anything and everything.

 

I thought the title of this thread was self explanatory? It's weird to be cruelly disgarded, told they want to "be single", but then they're in another relationship 5 minutes later. I'm not bitter about anything and everything, but I have regrets about some things. It still feels like NC is being a doormat, when it was ok for them to betray me? I don't know why telling people how you feel, makes you the psycho. I do have personal goals and have achieved a couple of them this year. I just don't post about it.

[Sugarkane]

And I don't get the double standards in breakups. That it's ok to be a psycho if youre an Ahole dumper, but you have to do everything right as the dumpee.