Author tinktronik Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 Just a quick update. As I prepared to leave my boyfriend things became violent and he really just got more and more paranoid and dangerous. I ended up leaving with our daughter and a protective order, and that's it. We left behind everything we owned, including the business I've been building for years. I'm sad but safe currently. Some friends have put together an online fundraiser for us so that in this interim time we can survive. You guys have been a wonderful support to me through the many years I've been posting here. I would imagine I will be around more often for a while. Thanks for all of the support. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 So sorry things turned out that way but glad to hear you're both safe. Anyone who's dealt with mental illness knows how unpredictable the behaviors can be and how quickly things can turn. Kudos to you for hanging in as long as you did... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Just a quick update. As I prepared to leave my boyfriend things became violent and he really just got more and more paranoid and dangerous. I ended up leaving with our daughter and a protective order, and that's it. We left behind everything we owned, including the business I've been building for years. I'm sad but safe currently. Some friends have put together an online fundraiser for us so that in this interim time we can survive. You guys have been a wonderful support to me through the many years I've been posting here. I would imagine I will be around more often for a while. Thanks for all of the support. Cyber ((hugs)) to you and your daughter. Everything you left behind, leaves space for the good to come. I wish you a safe, happy future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tinktronik Posted June 23, 2014 Author Share Posted June 23, 2014 Thanks to both of you. I'm worried but hopeful. I'm job hunting and hoping we can find a home for us soon. The whole thing is still pretty fresh. I'm feeling more relaxed even without everything and hoping my wee one adjusts quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 Hugs Tink! Stay strong - I'm praying for you. Can you ask a judge to allow someone to go over and pick up some things you list as needing? If you ask - you may be able to get some things - especially your things regarding your business! Link to post Share on other sites
fatheroftwo Posted June 23, 2014 Share Posted June 23, 2014 HI OP, As someone with something similar to what your man has, I wanted to chime in here. I have nothing as powerful as he does but I can see striking similarities between what you describe and how I am. When my wife becomes (in my mind) emotionally irrational ..or just emotional perhaps ...I cannot deal with it. I have anxiety about it happening. I"m an INTJ...which just means I am an extreme rational. I live inside my head and it's hard for me to relate to strong emotional reactions. When my sister died I was upset for 3 days, then nothing emotionally anymore. I don't know why I am like this. People with extremely high intelligence level live with a double edged sword. Imagine an engine always running at high gear, it's hard to relax or just do nothing. You always think. always analyze and it's hard just to have "fun". I cannot imagine how hard it is to have an IQ in the 190's. I also can imagine dealing with that kind of mind on daily basis as a spouse. It must be beyond exhausting. You deserve some kind of award! Personally, I need hours of alone time each day so I don't freak out. Is he the same way? I am guessing yes. I can't see that ever "going away" with therapy. Is he OCD, and everything has to be "just so"? I think the key to any real change is for him to realize his behavior is a problem, and somehow slow down is head. That is how I try to deal with it. When you are alone with him, try to get him to focus on one thing like your eyes, or skin . Bring him outside his head. If I am off base just ignore this post, but I am trying to help Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 Just a quick update. As I prepared to leave my boyfriend things became violent and he really just got more and more paranoid and dangerous. I ended up leaving with our daughter and a protective order, and that's it. We left behind everything we owned, including the business I've been building for years. I'm sad but safe currently. Some friends have put together an online fundraiser for us so that in this interim time we can survive. You guys have been a wonderful support to me through the many years I've been posting here. I would imagine I will be around more often for a while. Thanks for all of the support. Keeping you and your daughter in my thoughts, tink. {{{hugs}}} You are such a strong, strong woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 You are such a strong, strong woman. I couldn't agree more.... ****Hugz Tink**** 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted June 24, 2014 Share Posted June 24, 2014 You're such a strong woman! You did everything that you could. Your little one will be OK. She has a good role model in you. I feel sad for you that you have left, you clearly loved him. However way way more than that I feel relieved that you realised you had to go for both , no, all of your sakes. That support group really helped you from the sound of it. Are you still with them? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tinktronik Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 We are doing really well. The ex hired an attorney and filed for custody of my little. We ended up in a very fast paced custody battle. My attorney gathered years of back paperwork and files on Little's dad. I was granted sole legal and physical custody of my daughter. The judge allowed us to relocate cross country where I've found work and a home. My ex will see our little in a supervised setting once every three months and Skype's with her for about 10 minutes in the morning. I was granted a protective order for the next year as well. I am still with the support group and feeling much happier all around. I feel good, strong, and healthy. My little is doing great, much more relaxed and is interacting with lots of other children now too. I'm feeling vulnerable, but sensible. Things are getting better every day. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tinktronik Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 BTW, my mother again testified on this exes behalf.... She did the same for my sons father. The judge found that she should not have unsupervised contact with my little as well, quite vindicating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
me85 Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 I really enjoyed reading your post and wish you all the best. Perhaps the only "words of wisdom" I have for you is that you follow your heart and look for a sign...? I know that's pretty cheesy and not so helpful but it's all I can muster. /= Best wishes, J 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Best wishes, Tink, you are doing the right thing and it will get easier and better over time. (And I'm very sorry to hear about your mother's behavior.....that is horrible. Something very wrong there for her to attack your peace of mind and choices for your family in the legal system like that.) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted August 13, 2014 Share Posted August 13, 2014 Glad you came back and updated us, nice to hear about a positive outcome to a tough situation! Wishing you continued prosperity and good fortune... Mr. Lucky 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tinktronik Posted August 13, 2014 Author Share Posted August 13, 2014 I'm going to be okay. In fact I'm doing much better already. Being single feels nice. Lots of toddler hugs. My mother is bat **** crazy, always has been and always will be. That's just the way things are sometimes. Its weird to have your life change so drastically so quickly, stunning actually. But that is wearing off pretty fast. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted August 14, 2014 Share Posted August 14, 2014 hugs Tink.... you are sooo inspiring, such a strong lady and a TERRIFIC Mom.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author tinktronik Posted August 19, 2014 Author Share Posted August 19, 2014 hugs Tink.... you are sooo inspiring, such a strong lady and a TERRIFIC Mom.... Thanks Art. I'm hoping to raise one happy, well adjusted little lady. I'm working on putting together a new business plan and working out the details over the next year or so.... Only this time I will go it alone. I really cannot believe how quickly we stabilized, our new life has become normal for the little even if its not quite for me yet. Link to post Share on other sites
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