Speakingofwhich Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 Not at all, he didnt seem concerned. I honestly have days where I see the A from the outside. Like I'm watching it in a movie. Days like this I kinda distance myself... sort out my feelings. I generalize all WMM and get pissed off, at them all squished into a bunch. Not trying to justify, just one of those days I haven't read your posts when you're having one of "those days" before. Maybe I've just missed the posts. Do you find you're having more of "those days" recently? Just wondering! Want the best for you! Guess this is t/j, sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LilGirlandOW Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 I've had one or two, possible you missed them 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LilGirlandOW Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 Which brings it back to my original Q of why wouldnt LilOW ask him, or why wouldnt MM tell her. I dont understand how Lil stays wondering about such an important issue, when the love of her life has all the answers. The only response shes given to me bringing this up in multiple threads touching on the same issue, is basically that she prefers to pretend like BW doesnt exist when shes with MM. Yet clearly she wonders about it. So again Lil, why not just ask him what the situation is? Oh like I said before we discussed this, he thinks its just a text tally. I think alot of posters here are more tech savvy than he or I, which led me to asking about texts. I try not to pine on or speculate as to what she knows lately. I spent alot of Link to post Share on other sites
2sunny Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 Oh like I said before we discussed this, he thinks its just a text tally. I think alot of posters here are more tech savvy than he or I, which led me to asking about texts. I try not to pine on or speculate as to what she knows lately. I spent alot of You clearly don't care how his Wife feels - so why pretend like you care about the woman you're intentionally harming? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cif Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 If I thought for a second after a dday that I was being minimalized or thrown under a bus, the text records would be coming from me, she wouldnt need a phone company. I can understand the instinct to protect the WS, as to the unattached AP, thats "our man/woman". Had a dday happened prior to being enlightened from some great LS posters, I'm sure I'd die on a sword with him, but present day after much reading/sharing and reflecting I'd have my own sword ready. The single AP is far from innocent, but sometimes self-circumstances make it easy for a calculated WS to rope them in. If your an AP in any way/shape/form, the bottom line is you have self-issues. No solidly confident and complete woman puts herself out there like that or in situations like that, even if you didnt know the WS was M in the begining. I didn't immediately know I was being minimalized because later on I learned they had several ddays. It wasn't until the last one that she decided to contact me and i found out about her. he was immediately kicked to the curb. then i was thrown under the bus. Your MM might be having one and you may never know. Some BS are rug sweepers and prefer to continue on with this illusion of the perfect marriage instead of causing turmoil in their lives. They are the ones with issues lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 Only reason I was "the victim" was because I didn't KNOW of the A. The second exOW told me, I kicked out H, told go to her and the thing she wanted most... My H. All she did after that was cry how Unfair I WAS!!?! My contribution to our M was loving and trusting and supporting a H who cheated on me. I'm pretty close to being awesome All the time and not even high maintenance. The text trail didn't happen for me because I trust and loved my H so much and he was a very good LIAR* 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LilGirlandOW Posted September 28, 2013 Author Share Posted September 28, 2013 50,000 Texts? and only half of those belong to you??? my guess is he's talking to another woman as well. Who uses 25,000 texts for business? business is usually handled over the phone *smh* I'm sorry 5,000 not 50,000. We exchange on average 80-200 texts/day(ish) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
velvette Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 And what I bolded is what ALL BSs believe or think or try to project about themselves. It's kind of like thinking about prisoners - there isn't a guilty person in the place if you ask them, lol. But in real life? Yeah, this is not true (statistically it CANNOT be true) in every single case of adultery. Yet, this is ALL I hear on this site and from every other BS I have ever spoken with - how they were perfect and their WS was just a mean, selfish, liar who mistreated them forever. I don't buy it - I've been married, I've had boyfriends - none of us are perfect, all of us contribute to some type of dysfunction or issue in our relationships, it's impossible NOT to. Even if you are just a passive participant, that in itself is contributing to the dysfunction. Seriously - read around on here. It's like, all of these marriages when talked about by the BS were "perfect" and "there were no issues" and "we were effing like rabbits and totally head over heels in love every day" and "everything was great, or so I thought". Then, the WSs (or those thinking of becoming WSs) post and we hear "THere is NO sex" or "I am so unhappy" and "we never talk, we are roommates coparenting and that's it" and "my husband/wife doesn't even know I exist". Trust me, nobody is "pretty awesome All the time"... we are all worthy people, of course, and we all deserve love and respect and trust. BUT - we are also all human, we all have bad days, bad moods, sometimes you probably have bad breath or don't care how you look, sometimes you probably put a whole lot of effort into things OTHER than your primary relationship - sometimes, you probably prioritize in a way that harms your primary relationship - it's just impossible not to. I'm not saying that this justifies cheating, but admitting your weaknesses and faults and mistakes is helpful - ignoring them and convincing yourself that it's everyone else with the problem and not you isn't going to help you much, and in fact, will most likely lead to a lot of frustration and disappointment in your life. CIH didn't say she was perfect, she said she was pretty close to awesome all the time lol. And, if anyone is, I'm guessing it's her based on the way she posts here. That being said lots of us BS are awesome and have H who also believe we are awesome. I don't understand why its so hard for you to accept that many cheating men have their own issues, that have very little to do with their BS or their M. Based on the number of times you have posted on this theme no matter what the topic is, it seems like you are the one frustrated and disappointed. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
ComingInHot Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 THANKS Velvette!! I think your pretty near AWESOME too!! LOL ** wthf, it's all good, really. I just happen to be able to see and understand more than Just 1 perspective. Doesn't mean I agree with certain views but I do try to understand. And I DO see how you think the way you do* Link to post Share on other sites
bentleychic Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 I'm sorry 5,000 not 50,000. We exchange on average 80-200 texts/day(ish) LOL I've been trying to figure out how in the heck you could do 50k texts in a month. 5k is a little more understandable for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
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