Expressing your feelings

[Bob]

My girlfriend and I recently broke up - I am 27 and she is 35. I love her very much and I used to share my feelings about her all the time.

 

Now she has broken up with me, but we are still really good friends. I still really love her and care for her deeply and I frequently tell her this, in the hope it means something to her and she will reconsider her decision.

 

I try not to say anything, but I love her so much and can't help telling her just so she knows how I feel and what she means to me. Now what I want to know is will constantly telling her my feelings ruin our friendship?

[Nic]

constantly telling her how you feel will put a lot of pressure on her, and more than like really pee her off.

 

she obviously knows how you feel - you have told her many times. you don't always have to tell someone how you feel about them for them to be aware of it.

 

you are having a really hard time coming to terms with the fact that you are now friends. she broke up with you for a reason and no matter how many times you say "i love you", no matter how often you express your feelings for her or how many flowers you buy for her, this won't change the way she's feeling at the moment. she probably still loves you too, but she did break it off for a reason.

 

i personally believe that to remain friends with someone you love so deeply is only torturing yourself. don't wait for something that may never happen.

 

like i said, she knows how you feel, but don't push her away with your feelings.

 

My girlfriend and I recently broke up - I am 27 and she is 35. I love her very much and I used to share my feelings about her all the time. Now she has broken up with me, but we are still really good friends. I still really love her and care for her deeply and I frequently tell her this, in the hope it means something to her and she will reconsider her decision. I try not to say anything, but I love her so much and can't help telling her just so she knows how I feel and what she means to me. Now what I want to know is will constantly telling her my feelings ruin our friendship?

[Nic]

...like the old saying goes:

 

"if you love someone, set them free. if they come back, they are yours forever".

 

be strong

constantly telling her how you feel will put a lot of pressure on her, and more than like really pee her off. she obviously knows how you feel - you have told her many times. you don't always have to tell someone how you feel about them for them to be aware of it. you are having a really hard time coming to terms with the fact that you are now friends. she broke up with you for a reason and no matter how many times you say "i love you", no matter how often you express your feelings for her or how many flowers you buy for her, this won't change the way she's feeling at the moment. she probably still loves you too, but she did break it off for a reason. i personally believe that to remain friends with someone you love so deeply is only torturing yourself. don't wait for something that may never happen. like i said, she knows how you feel, but don't push her away with your feelings.

[Tony T]

YOU ASK: "Now what I want to know is will constantly telling her my feelings ruin our friendship?"

 

You bet, in a heartbeat!!!

 

It's over, done. When a lady tells you the romance is over, the last thing she wants to hear over and over is "I Love You" from her ex lovesick pup.

 

Now, if you want there to be a chance of you getting back with her...even a remote chance, you should talk to her very rarely, see her very rarely, date other people and get on with your life. If there is even a small seed of caring in her that could grow, that's the only atmosphere in which it can happen.

 

If you continue this "I Love You" stuff, you will become an irritation to her, an annoyance...a true nuisance and she will ultimately avoid you like the plague.

[Deejette]

It seems to be one of our primal urges to express our feelings to someone. But in our need to express ourselves, we do not take into account the recipient of our expression. Just because all of that emotion is going on inside of you, doesn't mean she feels it, will do anything about it or will come back to you because of it, or any other reason.

 

It is literally what you are thinking and feeling and it is not what is going on in her mind or heart. If it were, she would have responded to you the first, second, or third time you declared how much you still love her.

 

So continuously reiterating how much you love her will not get you very far. You have made your case, now it is up to her. She has your phone number and knows how to get hold of you if she changes her mind about how she feels.

YOU ASK: "Now what I want to know is will constantly telling her my feelings ruin our friendship?" You bet, in a heartbeat!!! It's over, done. When a lady tells you the romance is over, the last thing she wants to hear over and over is "I Love You" from her ex lovesick pup. Now, if you want there to be a chance of you getting back with her...even a remote chance, you should talk to her very rarely, see her very rarely, date other people and get on with your life. If there is even a small seed of caring in her that could grow, that's the only atmosphere in which it can happen. If you continue this "I Love You" stuff, you will become an irritation to her, an annoyance...a true nuisance and she will ultimately avoid you like the plague.

[Sandy]

I agree do not see her or tell her your feelings anymore,

 

if you want to see if this relationship has a chance romantically, do not be available to her at all , if she has feeling for you , She will only realize it after you are gone ,If she does not, it is best to just move on , be friendly if she is around but no more then that.

 

ps. never waste time on a relationship when they obviously don't feel the same way about you. Life is too short.

 

GOOD LUCK !

[Ace]

I am in the same circumstance. It has been over 2 months for me now and we are still good friends. It is hard for me at the moment, but I know as you know that if you love this girl enough then you simply can't stop seeing her alltogether. You will have to quit saying anything about the relationship and just try to be the best friend that you can be. If you are still a good person and a great friend to her, it is up to her to decide whether she thinks that it will be best to get back together. I know that is not what you want to hear, but like I said I am in the same situation and I kept constantly saying I love you and she was just getting really sick of it.

 

Try to call ONCE IN AWHILE or email and I mean once in awhile. Not all the time. Keep in contact with her as friends if you think that you can handle only being friends. If you can then, just contact her and she if she returns the favor. If you both mutually begin contacting each other as friends then that is a start at least. Be really good friends and support her the best that you can. If by some chance a few months down the road and you are not back together and still not satisfied by just being friends then ask her again about the relationship and then after that it is done for.

 

Best of luck and please, please be patient and make things up to her!! It is the best thing that you can do besides being a great friend!!!!!!!

 

Adam