You didnt give me anything to reply to

[MrTurk]

I dont know if its just the women in my area....or what. But during my online dating experience, I have found that a lot of women I communicate with cant seem to think on their own when it comes to conversation.

 

I am NOT bashing women with this thread. I am simply relaying my personal experiences with the women I've talked with.

 

I have had several stop talking to me.....and when I ask them whats going on...they have replied "You didnt give me anything to reply to"

 

I understand the art of asking questions to keep things flowing during conversation. It works better than statements back and forth. It shows interest, and can spark other topics.

 

But seriously.....have any of you ever stopped talking to someone for the simple fact that you couldnt generate an original thought on your own, without the help of the person you are talking with?

 

This is what just drives me batty.....because women whine and cry that us guys need to READ their profiles....and talk about their interests....yet a good amount of the ones I talk to cant even carry a conversation unless I hold their hand.

[Mascara]

Well, I've stopped a conversation for those reasons, and it's not because I need my hand holding. It's because in those situations, I'm the one asking questions, keeping it going - and after 2 or 3 exchanges like that I get bored and move on. I've lost count of the number of guys who just answer the questions I've asked and not offered anything else in return, either by asking their own questions or by taking the conversation in a new direction. They just answer the questions and hit send. What am I supposed to do with that?

[carhill]

The reasons for being single can be manyfold and unique. Perhaps your posting hit upon one reason for one particular person or group of people.

 

IME, IRL, I've met very few women who can't keep a conversation going. If anything, it's the guys who get lost for thoughts and words.

[MissBee]

I dont know if its just the women in my area....or what. But during my online dating experience, I have found that a lot of women I communicate with cant seem to think on their own when it comes to conversation.

 

I am NOT bashing women with this thread. I am simply relaying my personal experiences with the women I've talked with.

 

I have had several stop talking to me.....and when I ask them whats going on...they have replied "You didnt give me anything to reply to"

 

I understand the art of asking questions to keep things flowing during conversation. It works better than statements back and forth. It shows interest, and can spark other topics.

 

But seriously.....have any of you ever stopped talking to someone for the simple fact that you couldnt generate an original thought on your own, without the help of the person you are talking with?

 

This is what just drives me batty.....because women whine and cry that us guys need to READ their profiles....and talk about their interests....yet a good amount of the ones I talk to cant even carry a conversation unless I hold their hand.

 

 

I can and always generate original thoughts, I share those with interesting people. In dating, how our conversation naturally flows is a big thing I look for. Do we vibe off each other? Does the conversation flow easily? Can I talk to you for hours? OR Do I feel like I'm reaching? Do I have to try to come up with stuff to say? Do we just not get each other?

 

People who try to talk to me via the written word and say stuff like "How are you?" and expect that should be a real conversation, no. Or when I say stuff they just say "Ok."...NO . I don't bother with people like that. I don't online date anymore, but when I did or even now if I give a man my number and he messages me and the convo doesn't flow, instant turn off and I leave it at that.

 

The one thing ALL my boyfriends have had in common is that when we met it seemed like we knew each other for a while as conversation flowed seamlessly, we had similar senses of humor, wit, sarcasm, could discuss several topics, debate on others and quite early on we'd speak for hours and just want more. I don't expect that instantly with everyone, some people take warming up to, but with those who've become my boyfriends that has always been the common feature. So that type of dynamic is what I look for in dating and it's not anything that can be forced, so once I have to force it, I tend to lose interest.

Edited September 28, 2013 by MissBee

[MrTurk]

I think its just the select few women that I was dealing with.

 

Because every woman that Ive progressed to the phone with....we've talked for over an hour minimum, a few of them over 2 hours.

 

But for a person to reply with "You didnt give me anything to reply to".....how lame is that? Why not come up with a question on your own rather than replying with THAT?

[spiderowl]

Maybe you've emailed women who really can't be bothered and that's why they gave up so easily. But, I have to say, that when I've been chatting or in email contact with a guy, 'conversations' with them very rapidly turn into them making statements, usually about what they are doing/interested in. So, I conclude, I am supposed to just listen and start asking them questions to keep the conversation going. Unless I feel it's genuinely a two-way thing, this soon gets boring. I don't want to be just the listener and feel I have to do all the work.

 

The guys I have ended up meeting and/or dating have nearly always been good communicators from the start. Their mails are easy to read and interesting. They are fun and intelligent. They ask questions and understand that there needs to be a back-and-forth conversation. They don't only talk about themselves. Some guys do seem to think that they should only ask a question at the beginning of the conversation and from then onwards it's up to the woman. They merely have to state who they are and what interests them. It sets the tone and demonstrates what any relationship would be about - them!

[Keenly]

I have to 100% agree with the concept. The same problem goes with texting. Give me SOMETHING to work with here.

[TheGuard13]

"You didn't give me anything to reply to" sounds like code for "You didn't give me anything worth continuing a conversation over" or "You bored me."