secret admirer Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 Over the past month, I tried to talk to girls more, and I literally just want to talk and have a friendship, and if they show any higher interest, we can see where it goes. So far, every girl I talked to in person talks to me for one minute max. Online, I talk for maybe 2 minutes, and after that, I get ignored, and my response is never replied. I have a decent conversation, it doesn't get awkward, but it ends up being awkward because they just stop responding. There was even a case where I texted a girl "hey" and didn't even bother replying for the past month. I know her pretty well and we talked way more last year.. I don't bother them once they stop texting me, I leave them alone, so what is the issue? I mean they're all single, Maybe just bad luck with conversation or I'm being awkward? Or am I sending the wrong message when I talk? Link to post Share on other sites
hppr Posted September 28, 2013 Share Posted September 28, 2013 Over the past month, I tried to talk to girls more, and I literally just want to talk and have a friendship, and if they show any higher interest, we can see where it goes. So far, every girl I talked to in person talks to me for one minute max. Online, I talk for maybe 2 minutes, and after that, I get ignored, and my response is never replied. I have a decent conversation, it doesn't get awkward, but it ends up being awkward because they just stop responding. There was even a case where I texted a girl "hey" and didn't even bother replying for the past month. I know her pretty well and we talked way more last year.. I don't bother them once they stop texting me, I leave them alone, so what is the issue? I mean they're all single, Maybe just bad luck with conversation or I'm being awkward? Or am I sending the wrong message when I talk? Girls generally do not want to be 'friends' with guys. It's not something they seek out. As far as them talking to you and then running away it is not really what you are saying but how you say it and what you look like while you say it. If they are attracted to you then they will say hi, smile, make small talk and see where it goes. If not then you either better have some sort of rapport (say you go to the same school, are studying the same things, work in the same field) or the conversation is going to be "oh, hey, you're nice, yeah, I gotta go" and that will be the end of it. Link to post Share on other sites
ScreamingTrees Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 They don't like what they see to stick around long enough to discover what's hidden underneath. Don't feel so bad, there's plenty of dudes like you out there, myself surely included. Just keep banging your head against the brick wall, and hope that your brain doesn't hemorrhage. That's all that there really is to it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Polak Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 Don't make it a priority to talk to more girls... just think of how you want to improve as a sort of mini-goal in your daily life. But not as a main priority. There is a saying "The less you give a damn, the happier you will be" and that is true in this case. Don't worry about it too much. If at first you don't succeed, keep at it. And have patience. Girls are fickle. Just remember, if you actively seek a (good) relationship, it won't happen. It's not until you couldn't care less whether you find someone that a compatible female will magically appear. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ed the 3rd Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 I have no insight on you so I'll assume you are 6'3 and 200 pounds of lean muscle with a great social circle and career prospects. Forget online dating. Its a waste of time. Now onto real life; introduce yourself, tell her you like her and want to go out. Don't have to do all of this in one day but those are the 3 key things you must get down rather sharpish. If you are really looking for friends look to your place of work or education. Take a class or something. Easy. Link to post Share on other sites
El Brujo Posted September 29, 2013 Share Posted September 29, 2013 Women ignore me too, but the plus there is that I'm doing things I enjoy with my life... writing novels, fixing up my house, working on becoming my own boss... stuff like that. A man's home is his castle... it's not the end of the world if mine never has a queen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Don't worry about it too much. If at first you don't succeed, keep at it. And have patience. Girls are fickle. The girls who are very fickle - stay away from. Link to post Share on other sites
jacksonvillae Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 l think you lacking some sort of self esteem and you need to be happy on the inside in order to attract people to your outside. Am telling you, there are some ugly people out there that still got relationships. Am sure, you not even ugly or that bad but because of the way you perceive or see yourself. Take heart, you a man, just keep doing what you have to do, put on a positive attitude and you be surprise the kind of girls that be coming your way. Link to post Share on other sites
jagon Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Try being totally gay on top of everything as well buddy :[ Link to post Share on other sites
Criticality Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 Eh, sorry for being rude or whatever, but in order to narrow down the problem: What do you look like? I mean average looking, a 6 an 8 a 4? And where do approach them? Grocery stores, work, what? Link to post Share on other sites
theothersully Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 This is a tough one... Do you have examples of the conversations and your general appearance? I mean I do OK in general, but if I sent a message saying, "hey" on txt and didn't hear back after a while, I'd definitely send another one. Maybe you are being too timid? I used to flounder at this stuff. Grew up as a Dr Who fan, computer programming, physics degree. I was awkward. I purposefully went into sales to learn people. There was one thing in sales I learned that applies here. It's called, "getting to no." It is just as good to have someone say no as it is to have them say yes. So... make your way to one or thge other. You seem to be stuck. Just keep going and see. You'd be surprised how many maybe answers turn to yes. If they go to no, just as well. More time for others. Link to post Share on other sites
theothersully Posted October 21, 2013 Share Posted October 21, 2013 More... I don't even think I've had 6 guy friends my whole life. I'm beyond selective in that department. If you are truly looking to have girls for friends, you must establish that you are not at all physically interested in them. And don't try to fake it. It has to be real. Sure, there might be a random drunk hookup with one girl friend once a year because you both messed up, but that doesn't even ruin the friendship. To be fiends with girls, you have to be very fun, outgoing, emotionally supportive... and it doesn't hurt to know the difference between foundation and a primer. ha ha ha You have to be a real friend, genuinely care about them as a person, their feelings, their relationships. Not many guys can do this. Link to post Share on other sites
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