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Open up or cut her off?


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A friend I have romantic feelings for is really confusing me. She keeps insisting I should open up to her but I'm afraid to due to a traumatic and painful past. She's never offered me more than just friendship and even though she has a boyfriend, nobody understands her like me and there's a definite chemistry between us.

 

I guess my thoughts are why should go through the pain of opening up to her if she just wants to be friends? She insists that she doesn't care that I don't open up but then gets really upset and suddenly it's a big issue with her.

 

What's the best thing to do? And why does she behave like this?

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If she is a real friend, she won't push you to do it. That's something you alone should decide to do, if/when the time is right. Girls are curious and love to talk about their personal lives with one another (and love to listen to others' life stories). The fact that you two are so close probably makes her think she expects you to open up to her. That's ultimately your call though.

 

Just remember, although there may be some chemistry between you:

1. she has a boyfriend

2. (based on what you said) she isn't willing to invest in anything more than a friendship with you.

With those 2 things still in place, there's not much you can do as far as taking things to the next step. But you are definitely in full control over what you share with her.

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yeah that's pretty much how i see it. It's not worth going through just to maintain a friendship.

 

Although i can't help feeling like there must be a reason why she wants me to open up, is it just to satisfy her curiosity? or does she want me to open up to take things further? i'm guessing some of this could just be my thoughts due to my feelings however...

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is it just to satisfy her curiosity? or does she want me to open up to take things further? i'm guessing some of this could just be my thoughts due to my feelings however...

 

She is just curious. Very curious, knowing how girls are. If there was any potential of her taking it further with you, wouldn't you think she would have lost her boyfriend by now?

 

Don't think too far into it. You don't have to open up if you're not comfortable with doing so.

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If you don't want to open up to her then don't.

If you feel you want more than a friendship when she's has a boyfriend... just bad idea..

You might get hurt, or maybe she will cheat on her boyfriend for you.

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