I do not have a good relationship with my mom, am I doing something wrong?

[figuringitoutx]

So, I'm not quite sure what to do. I feel as if I should have a better relationship with my mom, but I do not. My mom is a single mom, as my dad passed away when I was 14, I very quickly had to grow up and during the time when my mom was grieving, I had to step up and attempt to help around the house/with my little brother.

 

In a way it's been that way ever since. I feel as if I am constantly doing things for her or trying to make her happy but can never succeed in doing it. I am 20 and living at home, and I am hoping to move out within the next year or so, however, I can't seem to do anything right for her.

 

I am currently in school full time, working two jobs that have me working from about 6:00 a.m. - 6:00 p.m. and then I take night classes. I am barley home most days, I pay for my phone, my cellphone, my car, my clothes, my food, etc, as I should at this age.

 

However, in like this past week and a half, my mom has just been so rude and I don't even know. She's constnatly making comments like 'Oh, I think you should work more." or "Why are you going to school for your major (teaching special needs) if you can't even be patient with your brother with autism?" and lately it's been "God, you've gained so much weight recently, maybe you should stop eating." or she'll comment on something when I do eat 'You're eating again?" and just things of that nature. Whether it's commenting on my social life (I don't go out often.) or that i'm not dating anybody or anything really.

 

I just don't know what to do. Moving out at this point is not an option, as I can't afford it.

 

Any ideas on what I can do in the mean time? I do try my hardest to get along with her, I really do. I try my best to help around the house and make dinner, and help out with my brother but none of it seems like it matters.

[Daisy7]

Am sorry your going through this you seem like a really great daughter. She can also be frustrated that she hasn't provided for you and your brother as she should and that you had to grow up so quick in responsibilities. She could be portraying these frustrations through anger towards you. If i were you i would seat down, and say all those responsibilities to her as you said them here. Something like, "mom i really would like to talk to you, i work so hard and am trying so hard and seeing you putting me down for no reason since you see how hard i work for my goals really breaks me and affects me because it is uncalled for, why do you treat me that way?" or something like that. When a person acts this way towards us, sometimes we just have to bring it to their attention so that they can realize how unfair they are been and for no apparent reason. Confront her in a kind manner and express your concerns, she is your mother, at least trying will give you that sense to know that you at least tried to have a better relationship.

 

Best of luck!