Am i inconsiderate or is she selfish?

[raidsniffer]

My current gf and I have been dating for almost 2 years. We've had a crazy complicated rollercoaster of a relationship. Fought a lot, but have always made up. Now i'm on the brink of breaking up. We've always fought about fairness and her not being able to go out. She comes over almost everyday and then goes out on the weekends with her friends, it's been toned down a bit lately. Sometimes she invites me sometimes she doesn't. not a big deal. What bugs me is that, when I ask her to go out she turns me down due to plans with her friends, even though she went out weekends in a row.

 

Ok, so long story short, we have a lot of mutual friends birthdays in the upcoming months along with our 2 year anniversary. Our 2 year is actually on a weekday and the weekend of we had already made plans with a friend to attend something. We went on vacation last week and on our way there, she said she felt sad that her friends don't invite her to things anymore. I didn't htink much of it, but apparently at that moment her friends had asked if she wanted to go to a club on the following weekend after our 2 year anniversary weekend. That weekend is also the same time as one of our friend's birthday and my best and closest friend's birthday. She wasn't sure if she should say yes to her friends because of our friend's birthday. She was going back and forth on it and said, if our friend is having her birthday that same day, I'll tell my friends no, but if our friend isn't, she'll go...or if she should just tell her friends now that she wasn't going to go. She asked me what she should do, I told her I don't know it's up to you.

 

Now I had already started thinking about our 2 year anniversary, because we had both agreed to our friend that we'd attend their thing the weekend of our 2 year anniversary, I thought it'd be best if we celebrated the weekend after. Which meant she would have to miss out on her friends club event, our friends birthday, and my best friends birthday (which weren't set in stone). So a few days after the vacation, I asked her if she wanted to spend that weekend with me and her first response was "oh that's the weekend of the club event (which is on a friday)". And then started throwing out days after so she had the option to go out with her friends. I responded by telling her that your plans aren't set in stone and neither are my plans. So why don't we just cancel both of our semi-plans and go out together? she got irritated at me because I responded to one of her questions with an "...ok?..." like what's your point? I waited a few minutes and told her that I was planning our 2 year anniversary...the car ride to and from dinner was very quiet after because I was furious that she got irritated at me and couldn't cancel on her plans for us.

 

When we got back to my house I asked her if she knew why I was mad, and she responded back asking if I knew why she was mad. Then the **** show started and we started fighting. The only parts I remember, is her asking why does she always have to choose between her friends and me? and that I was inconsiderate for not thinking about her and her plans and that it's always about me.

 

I told her that I don't make her choose, it's just the fact that she would rather choose her friends is where it sucks. I told her that it was fair weekend, because we both get to miss out on something we both want to go to, to celebrate our relationship. I had actually put time into this because months before, she complained about the lack of effort I put into celebrations and holidays. Which, sometimes I am guilty of.

 

Am I being inconsiderate or is she just being selfish?

[Polak]

Sounds to me like she's got some issues. Not bashing her, but if she has trouble "choosing" between her friends and you, then there is a big problem.