Should everyone expect their partner to cheat on them?

[bson1257]

It seems like nowadays with online dating and the whole social network, its incredibly easy to cheat on someone. I think that everyone should just expect their partner to cheat on them at some point in their relationship.

[Eivuwan]

More options to cheat does not automatically lead to a partner cheating. Some people actually have no desire to cheat...

[emva07]

I wouldn't say expect it....but I wouldn't bet my life on my partner never cheating on me either (some people have the mentality that they're SO would NEVER cheat). Shyt happens.

 

I don't spend relationships paranoid about him cheating....but if it happens, oh well, on to the next.

[thefooloftheyear]

Yes. Most men are simply wired for sexual variety and no matter how good you are to them or how good you look, other women will be more enticing to them after several years together. Over 60% of men that are married and cheat say they have frequent sex and are emotionally satisfied with their wives. With women that are married and cheat and say the same, that number drops to less than 20%. If you are a woman, odds are your man will cheat on you at some point. The men on this site automatically say its because you don't put out or you let yourself go or you become a nag, the statistics say otherwise.

 

Also, the media and culture today shoves down mens throats that they should strive for the hottest women, it has actually risen the standards of beauty and perpetuated this idea that committed relationships are a drag (they are more of a drag for men because women are more equal, men cant get it their way all the time, but what does that say about men?). So yeah, its not a good situation for women. The dating climate today sucks for us.

 

 

 

Why dont you just get a full sized man doll and kick it in the nuts all day.? Gotta be more satisfying and take less time than half of this nonsense you post.

..

 

TFY

[MalachiX]

Yes. Most men are simply wired for sexual variety and no matter how good you are to them or how good you look, other women will be more enticing to them after several years together. Over 60% of men that are married and cheat say they have frequent sex and are emotionally satisfied with their wives. With women that are married and cheat and say the same, that number drops to less than 20%. If you are a woman, odds are your man will cheat on you at some point. The men on this site automatically say its because you don't put out or you let yourself go or you become a nag, the statistics say otherwise.

 

Perhaps but statistics also say that women tend to be more attracted to men who display selfish and narsassistic characteristics, thus making those men more likely to cheat. Maybe it's best not to make generalizations about either gender

[soccerrprp]

Hmmmm, you people throwing around statistics and studies, please give us links to them. I want to separate out the opinions from actual, organized studies that have been done.

 

Thanks.

 

Anyway, don't automatically assume that men want to cheat. I am more in the camp that cheating comes from something that either or both the partners are simply not providing enough of for each other. I'm a dreamer I guess. I know that temptations exist, but people who are wholly committed to one another don't place themselves into compromising or tempting positions.

 

Just my thought.

[MalachiX]

Hmmmm, you people throwing around statistics and studies, please give us links to them. I want to separate out the opinions from actual, organized studies that have been done.

 

I'll try to find the one I read when I have a second. I came across it about two weeks ago when googling something about "nice guys and dating" after reading a topic on this board complaining about "jerks."

[lakerman34]

I'm an always horny, high sex drive, extremely high testosterone, young male.

 

That being said, I HAVE thought about cheating before when my relationship wasn't going well (and because I was pretty certain my SO was cheating on me), but could NEVER bring myself to it.

 

There are guys out there that are EXTREMELY loyal. Unfortunately, a lot of them are nice guys and get walked on.

 

As women get older, I think they appreciate the "nice guy" more. Maybe that's what you need?

 

That being said, I think men cheat because they aren't satisfied with the sex, women cheat because their men are clingy.

 

I know the happiest, most loyal couples are actually when the woman claims the man isn't "emotionally attached." The women want that to be a problem, but when, in reality, it's keeping the relationship together.

 

I wouldn't share every emotion, every feeling, and every thought with my significant other until I'm 100% certain that I'm in love with her and she's in love with me. Clinginess is a man's worst nightmare in a relationship....both ways.

 

Emotional weakness leads to cheating.

[NoMoreJerks]

I would be aware of the possibility, but i wouldn't be overly paranoid about it.

 

Note: I have been cheated on. I have also had one night stands with married men, btw, and many more have wanted to sleep with me but I haven't accepted their offers.

 

I don't know if married women are equally unfaithful. I have to say maybe less so especially if it's just a one-off one night stand type cheating and not a full-blow affair, only because married women might have less opportunities to do that one night stand thing -- i think men get away with hanging out at the bar with their friends at night more than women might be able to. It's more a guys' thing, and most married men pick up women in bars.

[crederer]

Wow, you sound a bit bitter ^

 

But no, I don't think it's more likely now a days, i think people just get caught more now due to technology. More trails.

[NoMoreJerks]

^ what? how did my reply come across as bitter?

 

It was a matter of fact reply. I have been to bars on my own and have observed men (and women) in bars long enough to know what I am talking about. And I have done ONS with married men , and have seen married women flirting with men in bars , but that's very rare ; like, it was a rare thing I've seen in the past 3 years.

 

Clarification: I realize this sentence may have come across as being a generalization, "most married men pick up women in bars.", but I meant, most married men WHO CHEAT, pick up the women they cheat with, in bars. I didn't mean that most married men cheat.

Edited September 30, 2013 by NoMoreJerks

[kaylan]

Sometimes I really dont know. I do wonder about if settling down is worth it sometimes because of the rampant cheating.

 

All I can be sure of is my own loyalty. When I commit, I legit commit. I couldnt cheat on a girl whos won my commitment to her.

[Carenth]

I think some of the people in this thread need to paint with a broader brush. I also love people claiming statistics with no actual articles or studies where they derive these stats from are posted.

 

I must be one of the lucky people who has never been cheated on and I have no desire to cheat on my partners. So I guess I'm an anomaly according to some of the posters in this thread.

[Leigh 87]

I got cheated on but I don't think all guys cheat. As Emva says; don't go intp things EXPECTING the, to cheat. Be positive! If they do cheat, onto the next one! (albeit, not right away:lmao: You know, give it a few month)

 

 

 

My ex cheated on me, but I don't think he will cheat again at all. I think he just did it with me, because there was something missing from our relationship; he loved me dearly yet was not IN love with me in a romantic sense.

I don't think the same person cheats again necessarily. I think with the right girl, my ex wouldn't cheat.

 

Just be careful of repeat offenders.

 

The thing is, they probably won't admit they cheat in more than one occasion in their adult relationships...

[miss_jaclynrae]

Not at all.

 

 

I have met many men who were so crazy about me I would never expect them to cheat, and would never assume they would.

 

 

 

 

 

Not to mention with my man now, I would never in a million year believe he would cheat on me. That man does so much for me, and is absolutely crazy about me, he does everything possible to keep my fears of him cheating down. Those fears don't show up often, but I have been burned before and go through my moments of worrying.

[Pyro]

With social media yes there are more options/chances for individuals to cheat.

 

I have never had the desire to cheat nor will I ever. The fact that many people out there assume that most or all people will cheat at one point in time fuels my fire/desire to make my relationship last and to not cheat.

 

As far as my SO goes, I can't control what she does but I trust her.

[nescafe1982]

Should everyone expect their partner to cheat on them?

 

No. Of course not. /thread

[Eternal Sunshine]

No, but you have to screen for certain personality traits early on. It's never really how crazy they are about you; it's about their own character.

[BabyBash]

With social media yes there are more options/chances for individuals to cheat.

 

I have never had the desire to cheat nor will I ever. The fact that many people out there assume that most or all people will cheat at one point in time fuels my fire/desire to make my relationship last and to not cheat.

 

As far as my SO goes, I can't control what she does but I trust her.

 

 

Sorry to go off topic but what breed is that beast in your avatar? beautiful dog

[Pyro]

Sorry to go off topic but what breed is that beast in your avatar? beautiful dog

 

........................

Edited September 30, 2013 by Pyro

[RedRobin]

No, but you have to screen for certain personality traits early on. It's never really how crazy they are about you; it's about their own character.

 

I agree with this.

[James-London]

this question of how can you trust your partner not to cheat has popped up in loads of threads. the bottom line is - you can never fully trust any person not to cheat (or do/not do anything else for that matter). If you have known them for 1 year or 20 years, if you are totally happy together or miserable, your partner can always cheat. Some people react to this by saying that they will never allow themselves to be vulnerable with another person and completely trust again. That is really unfortunate. Because these people are totally closing themselves off from a future loving relationship. I think the best we can do is accept the possibility is always there and make sure that we have enough self-esteem and self-worth to be able to cope if/when it does happen.

 

Going back to the OP post, guys and girls are much more likely to cheat if they are unsatisfied in their relationship. They could cheat even if they are happy, but its less likely. I think the best safeguard you can have against cheating is to ensure really, really good communication. The more you know about your partners thoughts and feelings the easier it will be understand what are their needs and desires....

 

I can't imagine a partner not being able to see an affair coming where they are 100% sure they are in tune with what their partner is thinking/feeling.

[MalachiX]

I think some of the people in this thread need to paint with a broader brush. I also love people claiming statistics with no actual articles or studies where they derive these stats from are posted.

 

Well, since you asked, here are several articles on the so-called "Dark Triad," a series of personality traits that tend to be highly damaging but studies show are more likely to attract female attention. Here's a little excerpt:

 

The researchers found that these types of men had the most sexual partners. This personality combination would make a man narcissistic (subclinical), psychopathic (subclinical) and Machiavellian.

 

The Dark Triad - Cognizance Magazine

Why Good Girls Like Bad Boys | Men's Health

Why women really do love self-obsessed psychopaths - Science - News - The Independent

Why women love a bad boy | MSN Arabia

 

Now, granted I'm extrapolating but is it really hard to imagine that a man who is narcissistic, Machiavellian, and psychopathic is more likely to cheat?

 

For that matter, I only mentioned this study to contrast to another poster claiming that "statistics showed" men were more likely to cheat. My point is that there are studies that show a wide variety of things and broad generalizations about gender are pointless.

 

I think people get so caught up on these boards in this idiotic gender war. I keep hearing posts where someone will say, "this is what men do" or "women always do this." There's so much more to any human being that what they have between their legs and it's annoying that so many of us are willing to make such suppositions about people based solely on their gender.

 

I'm not saying that there aren't going to be differences between a male and female psychology. Women have higher estrogen levels and men have higher testosterone which, of course, influences personality. Sex also carries far greater consequences for women because of pregnancy and STDs.

 

That said, I still think most people are more alike than different. So many posts act like members of the opposite sex are some alien species. Yes, instinct and biology make us different in some ways but part of the amazing thing about human being is how they rise above their evolutionary programming. We're the only species on Earth that's over-adapted to this planet. We built sky scrapers and send men to mars. Is it really so hard to believe that, given all that, a man can't control his desire for other women?

[MalachiX]

Anytime you say anything negative about men on this site you are bitter. When men say negative things about women they are just being truthful...lol

 

Once again, another of these annoying "us vs. them" posts. Women on these boards say negative things about men all the time and argue that they're just being truthful. Why don't call out both sides when they make broad generalizations? Neither gender has a monopoly on judging the other.

[Shepp]

If someone told me they expected me to cheat on them at some point, I would be SO insulted!!

I'd walk there and then, there would be no future for us whatsoever!

I'm not perfect by any standards but my word is good and I'm loyal and I would never cheat......if someone who's meant to be one of the closest people too me on the planet didn't know those simple things about me I'd be so hurt by that!

 

 

Like I know some girls have been hurt in the past or expect things to go wrong - that I can deal with, I have no problem in reassuring a gf but if I was a case of her being in a relationship with me and genuinely being prepared for me to cheat in the future....dealbreaker!

Edited September 30, 2013 by Shepp