in denial???????

[lb]

Ive known this guy for almost 4 months now, the problem is I havent seen him in over a month, and it doesnt seem to bother him, he calls me every day, but thats it, Im afraid of saying anything to him, cause I really like this guy alot and I dont want to loose him. In the beginning he was the more affectionate one, and he always wanted to see me, and he always said the sweetest things to me, but that kind of stopped now Im doing what he was doing in the beginning and he backed off. If he wasent interested in me, then why does he still call me.

 

(he just got out of a long term relationship (7 years, back in April)

[Bubbles]

Get out of the relationship now! He is lazy, he thinks he has you now and doesn't see it necessary to put any more effort into this relationship. Relationships require effort on a daily basis, women tend to remember this more than men do. We put into the relationship what we expect to get out of it. Men reach a certain point with the relationship and decide to relax, what they don't realize is that it makes us feel like we are being rejected.

 

Hope things turn out for the best, no matter what happens!

Ive known this guy for almost 4 months now, the problem is I havent seen him in over a month, and it doesnt seem to bother him, he calls me every day, but thats it, Im afraid of saying anything to him, cause I really like this guy alot and I dont want to loose him. In the beginning he was the more affectionate one, and he always wanted to see me, and he always said the sweetest things to me, but that kind of stopped now Im doing what he was doing in the beginning and he backed off. If he wasent interested in me, then why does he still call me. (he just got out of a long term relationship (7 years, back in April)

[Tony T]

He's probably still getting over his previous relationship. It sounds like he may have gotten frightened at some point after two or three months with you...afraid of being hurt again...or maybe some feelings surfaced for his ex that he felt uncomfortable with.

 

The fact that he is calling you says he still wants you in his life...but it's really difficult for most men to articulate the kind of things he is going through now. Men don't particularly like to discuss their negative emotions, especially with a lady they are fond of. Actually, it wouldn't be appropriate for him to discuss with you the distress he may suffer now due to his previous relationship.

 

Don't look for things to turn around real quick here. If he's still going through a grief period, this would indicate that he's a pretty decent and sensitive guy. Nevertheless, you really don't need to waste your time waiting for him to come around.

 

Don't expect him to ask to see you real soon. You are probably better served by seeing other people. If you want to remain his friend, by all means take his calls. But he certainly shouldn't expect you to sit around waiting to talk to him on the phone all the time...and he probably doesn't.

[amelia]

I completely understand what you are trying to figure out. Every person is different so you must keep that in mind. Maybe you would making it too easy for him. I've known a lot of guys who enjoy the challenge of trying to get the girl. Try to not necessarily play games with him but do things to make you more desirable to him. And, if all else fails, talk to the guy about it. If it was meant to be, your relationship/friendship will only be strengthened. And, if he's an a**h*** to you, then leave him. You deserve better!

[Deejette]

Tell him that you miss seeing him but don't act too needy about it. See what his explanation is for why he is so distant now. Maybe he has a reason that you can help him with. Maybe there is another girl somewhere. It is important for you to know so you can figure out your next move, including if you should forget about him.

I completely understand what you are trying to figure out. Every person is different so you must keep that in mind. Maybe you would making it too easy for him. I've known a lot of guys who enjoy the challenge of trying to get the girl. Try to not necessarily play games with him but do things to make you more desirable to him. And, if all else fails, talk to the guy about it. If it was meant to be, your relationship/friendship will only be strengthened. And, if he's an a**h*** to you, then leave him. You deserve better!

[lb]

Thank you all for the advice. It helps alot. On New Years eve he called me when he got home, and he said that he wanted to see me. So he said he would come over my house on New Years day, I was so excited, but then he got an emergency call to go into work, which I know its true. I did my research. But that was it, I just dont know what to do, should I say something to him,should I let it go and see what happens. Everytime I get the nerve to confront him I loose the nerve as soon as I hear his voice.

Ive known this guy for almost 4 months now, the problem is I havent seen him in over a month, and it doesnt seem to bother him, he calls me every day, but thats it, Im afraid of saying anything to him, cause I really like this guy alot and I dont want to loose him. In the beginning he was the more affectionate one, and he always wanted to see me, and he always said the sweetest things to me, but that kind of stopped now Im doing what he was doing in the beginning and he backed off. If he wasent interested in me, then why does he still call me. (he just got out of a long term relationship (7 years, back in April)

[Deejette]

In this case, you should let it go and see what happens. There really isn't much more you can do anyway. Personally, I don't like the fact that he had to go into work on New Year's Eve. I understand you did the research and found out that this was actually true, but it still sounds very fishy to me.

 

It just sounds like you are not a high enough priority to him. You can confront him about this if you want, but I think leaving him alone about it is better. You cannot force another person to think about you by complaining to them. Making yourself scarse is a good tactic in this situation.

 

Thank you all for the advice. It helps alot. On New Years eve he called me when he got home, and he said that he wanted to see me. So he said he would come over my house on New Years day, I was so excited, but then he got an emergency call to go into work, which I know its true. I did my research. But that was it, I just dont know what to do, should I say something to him,should I let it go and see what happens. Everytime I get the nerve to confront him I loose the nerve as soon as I hear his voice.