Author margaery Posted October 6, 2013 Author Share Posted October 6, 2013 But he has to understand that i am serious this time right? Tonight I snapped, he is out with friends though and cannot really talk, but i told him everything about how i felt etc. He thinks I got upset because he went out~! What an idiot... Is it weird i would expect him to write me a long mail when he gets back, since he supposedly wants to be with me and I am obviously suffering? But I am almost certain he will not send anything, and not talk to me at all tomorrow, or just start casual conversation... Or I will be weak and talk to him again. I am really feeling physically sick. Link to post Share on other sites
Sneaky Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 I'm sorry that you are feeling this way, but it does not matter if he thinks you are being serious or not. If you feel the need to show him, then do it by stopping yourself from reaching out and stop replying to anything he says or does; do it by moving on without him. Maybe if he feels your absence he will realize what he's lost but as long as you keep being there he is never going to feel that absence, he is just expecting you to come back. And even if he does feel that absence, you should not take him back on words alone. You deserve better. Don't accept that you might be weak, fight that urge like hell. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 (edited) How's the weather on your cloud of judgment ? It may not be normal or healthy to YOU. But what you are describing is how I've lived most of my life, and enjoyed it. Not with WoW, but if you don't like it then do your own thing. No need to bash people like me for being introverted. Cloud of judgment? Are you for real? Listen to this poor girl. The guy does NOTHING with his life. He has no job. He doesn't go to school. He actually FAILED OUT OF SCHOOL because of WoW. He barely acknowledges her. He lives off government funding and his parent's money. He mooches off this girl, letting HER pay for his food, shelter, and whatever else. He sits at home playing video games while she goes to work supporting them. He's stolen money from her, and then has lied about it right to her face. This is what you think is a normal and healthy life?!?!? :lmao: Also really not sure where you got the idea that I'm so judgmental about introverted people. The word "introverted" wasn't even written by me in any of my posts. You can be introverted without being addicted to video games, and you can be introverted without being such a waste of space and waste of life. You can be introverted without being a liar, and you can be introverted without being disrespectful and taking advantage of other people. Edited October 6, 2013 by KatZee Link to post Share on other sites
Omei Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Cloud of judgment? Are you for real? Listen to this poor girl. The guy does NOTHING with his life. He has no job. He doesn't go to school. He actually FAILED OUT OF SCHOOL because of WoW. He barely acknowledges her. He lives off government funding and his parent's money. He mooches off this girl, letting HER pay for his food, shelter, and whatever else. He sits at home playing video games while she goes to work supporting them. He's stolen money from her, and then has lied about it right to her face. This is what you think is a normal and healthy life?!?!? :lmao: Also really not sure where you got the idea that I'm so judgmental about introverted people. The word "introverted" wasn't even written by me in any of my posts. You can be introverted without being addicted to video games, and you can be introverted without being such a waste of space and waste of life. You can be introverted without being a liar, and you can be introverted without being disrespectful and taking advantage of other people. I agree that hes a bum and sucking off her but dispite what we think its how he's chosin to live his life, I am sure he was a gamer before they met too so after the honey moon phase dropped he picked back up his habits she knew what she signed up for now that she cant deal with it, and she shouldnt its up too her to leave and find happiness this man isnt going to change for her. I am pretty addicted go wow myself but when I was in a relationship I always put him first I never had complains, I think hes just base line insulted that you think all game addiction results as a no lifer material when not all of us are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author margaery Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 Hello, like said in the title, I really need some advice to be able to not talk to my boyfriend (or ex? not very clear). I love him so much, and he doesn't seem to although he claims to, so it is very hard on me. I keep fighting with him about important things and he will just give me a 2 lines answer, like "I'm sorry. I love you lots" while I have expressed to him how I feel and how I'm heartbroken and unhappy with his behaviour... And then I always go back and talk to him one or two days after. I think I am obsessed with him, I check my mail and facebook every hour to see if he finally gave me a real explanation or something important for us. I even log into his own facebook to see if he has been up to something or if he read my messages etc. etc. Someone has told me to block him on facebook but like I said I would rather not as this would result in a announcement of breakup on all of our friend's newsfeed (not to mention his family, which is also in my friendslist) and that would be quite dramatic, everyone would ask me about it and it would be very hard on me. So I was wondering how do you do it?? How do you stop talking to the person you love when you desperately want them to talk to you and make you forgive them?? I admire you all who can do it for months. Please give me tips. I don't have a lot of friends and I don't really like going out and club etc. I mostly spend time with my family, him and sometimes the 1 or 2 friends I have... I guess I could focus on university, or take up a hobby. It is really hard. Please help me! :c Link to post Share on other sites
westjames111 Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Going on no contact with someone you love isn't easy if you have no friends or 10 friends. I can definitely see where not having many other people to hang out with would make it hard, but when I was trying to go no contact with my ex I had a very hard time regardless of still having all my friends around. The only way to do it is just to let go. You have to make yourself not talk to them. It is probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do and I failed at it miserably for several months before I finally realized that I had to do it if I was ever going to move on. It isn't easy and it hurts a lot but in time you will not feel the need to contact them anymore because you will have spent so much time on no contact that you don't want to break it. You will also start feeling better after a few weeks without contact. I have been apart from my ex for about 10 months now and somedays I still want to talk to her. I know though that I would just feel worse later if I did. Stay strong! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Beautiful diamond Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 (edited) I used to stalk my ex. Literally I followed him in cars, sat outside his house, sat in his college parking lot, etc. it was because I would have done anything to escape that rejection. Abandonment issues can make you do a lot of immature and unwise things. You really don't wasn't to be alone and half of him is better than none of him? You don't know how to function or be happy without him. He was your scapegoat, drug, and hobby all in one. You put him on a pedestal and totally loss touch with reality. With him you felt invincible right? You felt worthy of love? Now you feel worthless? Like living without him is too much? If I can tell this from one post, what do you think he is thinking?? He thinks your clingy, too emotional, stalkerish, desperate, dumb, easy, the list goes on and on. He will not only lose all respect for you but he will hate you. The way to stop this cycle is to stop. Say to yourself: I'd rather be a lonely miserable single chick than his fool. Regain your strength and decide enough is enough. Since I've been on both sides and done all you did plus some I can tell you exactly how this will end. You will be tired of chasing him and he will run faster from you. One day you will say: forget being a fool I'm a pretty young thing, and it's that idiots loss. You will finally let go, and back he will come. See guys like him love the attention. Once you take it away it eats at them. He will think: has she moved on? Is she dating someone new? Am I not good enough? Within a year he will be back, ready to be chased again. But if your smart you will realize that all you ever were to him was a confidence booster. You rubbed his ego and he pretended to love you. Next time you date a man, establish a relationship based on friendship, common interest, shared morals, and MUTUAL RESPECT. if he approaches you with a sleazy line or smirk on his face, politely decline. If he is being a lil too charming, move on. If everything is a power struggle or game, dump him. We have the keys to our own jail cells. But we spend so long bargaining and fighting to get the guard to release us, we sit needlessly instead of releasing ourselves. Stop,this now before he really embarrasses you and you wish for the days when you could have cut all ties... Edited October 7, 2013 by Beautiful diamond Link to post Share on other sites
Author margaery Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 I would like an objective opinion on this mail he sent me "Me We've known each other for quite some time now. Our relationship has seen ups and downs, and lately plenty of downs.. I've been a great disappointment to you. You want to go forward in life, being able to see progression. And you're significant other must be going forward in life too. You're definitely not asking for too much. I've also been a great disappointment to myself. Now I feel motivated, and want to make something of myself. I'm doing my best at college, and will not fail. I've started waitering, although I pretty much suck at it. And it's very tough, I totally appreciate you so much more now. You're an angel. I've abused you're goodness for too long. It's time for me to stop leeching, and give back. You I think you're the kindest and most caring person I've met. You're very smart, artistic and intelligent. You have a good sense of humor(which tends to be hard to find in girls somehow). I find you so interesting to talk to. You listen to what I say, and don't think I'm weird(most girls do). Especially when I talk you know, about stupid science stuff. I think you're amazing in all those regard, and you're amazing in bed. I think you're very reasonable except for some heated emotional moments. But you always repent and apologize. I know you'll be a great mother, and won't spank our children with a broomstick. You understand reason and logics, and I can trust you always. I can tell you everything and you'll listen and try to understand. I really think you're an amazing girlfriend, and I can't let you go. The computer A big problem in our relationship has been my gaming habit. I still believe it's a product of not wanting to cope with irl issues, but now I will face them head-on. Whenever I play with either irl friends or just ppl online. I feel obligated not to leave, or whatever. I really have to get it into my head, IRL>Gaming friends. Whatever I do to them, if i leave/ninja or w/e. It won't affect my real life. But neglecting you, will destroy it. The only thing i gain from gaming, is very short-time joy. And not even almost. I often get frustrated or angry. And I've had enough of it. I do still like the occasional league of legends game. But that's about it. Now playing wow a lot, isn't even about me liking it. It's just that I can't say 'no' to those ppl i either know irl or online. This is very weak, and yesterday I've put an end to it. I will never feel obligated again to join someone in a game. " Should I believe this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author margaery Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 He thinks your clingy, too emotional, stalkerish, desperate, dumb, easy, the list goes on and on. Hurts. But I guess I'd think the same if someone else was in my situation... Link to post Share on other sites
Sneaky Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 No, talk is cheap let him prove that he's changed first. Also nowhere did he mention or apologize for stealing from you, hell he didn't even say 'I'm sorry' at all he just listed a bunch of stuff he is planning to do and added some compliments. I'm sorry if that sounds cynical but this guy has proven himself to be completely untrustworthy. I just wouldn't reply at all. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Sneaky Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Depending on what browser you use there are ways of blocking certain sites. Chrome has "Nanny for Google Chrome" which will let you block facebook altogether; it doesn't make it impossible for you to visit, but it makes it at least inconvenient so you won't go on on a whim during a weak moment. Other than that it's all about staying busy. Find a hobby and keep your mind occupied. Read a book, watch tv shows; anything to keep your mind active and focused on different things. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 you dont have to block people on face book, when you feel liek lookign at their page or trying to , you get up and walk away...thats the best advice i have for face book,as far as calling....imagined a disinterested phone call where you call and realize you have no idea of what to say anyway.......or him rolling his eyes at the other end of the phone and yawning just waiting to get off the phone it helps to have an imagination....stay strong and keep no contact....definitely dont look at pictures of him smiling or look at him smiling or if you hear him talking....repeat lalalalalalalalalalalalalalala over and over in your head.....ok these are actually childish but tend to work...kind of....almost....and sometimes.....if you dont ask another person what they were saying when they are no longer there.....no contact isnt easy when you care for someone its extremely diet inducing ..loss of weight imminent........and chocolate binges....or ice cream and chocolate....adda jar of peanut butter...kidding...but sounds cool.....i struggle with no contact.....but i do it...:bunny:...deb Link to post Share on other sites
Author margaery Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 No, talk is cheap let him prove that he's changed first. Also nowhere did he mention or apologize for stealing from you, hell he didn't even say 'I'm sorry' at all he just listed a bunch of stuff he is planning to do and added some compliments. I'm sorry if that sounds cynical but this guy has proven himself to be completely untrustworthy. I just wouldn't reply at all. Thank you, you are right unfortunately, these mails ease the pain for a few hours until I realized nothing has changed. I didn't even realize he didn't apologize anywhere... I am glad I got to have an outsider's opinion on this, because what you said really opens my eyes... Link to post Share on other sites
Froelich87 Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 It's times like these that are the toughest. We desperately believe within ourselves that our "significant others" can change. Our problem here is ourselves. We can't change them we can only hope. And with that hope brings more pain and heartache because deep within ourselves, we know the true answer. They won't change. So what do we do? We join fourms like LS seeking advice. But do we really? Absolutely not. We hope that there would be just one person who gives the advice that you want to hear and we ultimately block out anybody else because we don't want to believe that it's true. We try to not accept that pain and hold onto whatever false hope is left until we just can't anymore. Look, I'm going through a lot of pain and hurt myself. I just got out of a 3 year relationship with a girl who had the GIGS/Fell out of love with me/many other things. During this, we did 1 1/2 years of a 4 hour LDR. We made it through. I finally got my GPA up to transfer down to go to school and be with her. 8 months later, It's over. I feel completely stuck, left, and abandoned. I feel as if three years meant nothing to her. She is moved on already and it hasn't even been two weeks. The pain hurts. It hurts really bad. I've missed so much school. I can't concentrate when I do go. I can't focus on anything. The dreams of her are the worst and I just don't know what to do. I've completely cut out all contact. Deleted and blocked her on Facebook. Deleted my twitter. Deleted her phone number. It hurts so much when the person you loved so much doesn't feel the same way as you... even after everything that you've been through. My advice to you? End this now and start moving on with your life. Accept the pain that comes with it so you can start healing. You're a beautiful woman who deserves so much more and you will meet that person. These people who have hurt us are only stepping stones for our ultimate significant others. I say that with confidence. Yes, I'm hurting but I will be okay even though that I don't feel that way now. You will be okay, too. These people don't define our happiness. We and We alone define our own happiness. Stay strong beautiful. I know you can do this. :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Author margaery Posted October 8, 2013 Author Share Posted October 8, 2013 Thank you for that beautiful answer, I wish you all the best too (: You are very right in all you said. On another note, after 2 days of NC, he is panicking: '' Hey! I hope your college day wasnt too tough How are you? Im VERY sorry for not giving you enough attention yesterday I adore you so much! monday 22:57 wondering how you are how are you? 01:01 i miss you i hope you'll talk to me tomorrow 10 hours ago I hope to hear from you today, I'm worried and I'm missing you. I got some of my problems fixed. Got to take a shower and prep for school. Byez Woke up thinking of you Let me know how you are about an hour ago hey! talk to me 28 minutes ago Could you tell me why you're ignoring me? 17:13 Revenge? To make me understand how you feel like? Or do you just not want to talk to me. Are we broken up? Please let me know. are you seeing smn else?" I am feeling so good right now, ignoring all this! I feel no guilt because the day before yesterday i sent him a very long message stating everything I felt. Link to post Share on other sites
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