emva07 Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 I've been friends with this guy for over 2 years....a year ago we went through this sexual tension where we both told each other we wanted each other sexually but nothing came of it because everytime we tried to plan it, something came up on his end or mine. so I just told him to forget about it. Thing is I can't forget about it....I know he can't either but has put up a wall to protect his hurt ego. I've tried removing myself little by little (we don't work together anymore, so we don't see each other anymore, just talk/txt) but he always insists he wants me as a friend and enjoys talking with me. Thing is it's not like we had an excellent friendship, it was more of, two people who easily conversed with one another and enjoyed it. Thing is, I can't anymore. I just can't. I need advice on letting him know this. Is it as simple as telling him "i can't be your friend anymore because I am attracted to you" ? Link to post Share on other sites
Polak Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 I'm reading this in 2 ways... 1. "I can't be your friend anymore because I am attracted to you, so I still want you sexually very badly" 2. "I can't be your friend anymore because I am attracted to you, and it's too hard on me so I want to actually stop the friendship" Sorry if I'm reading too much into this haha. Don't know which you mean. Link to post Share on other sites
Author emva07 Posted September 30, 2013 Author Share Posted September 30, 2013 I'm reading this in 2 ways... 1. "I can't be your friend anymore because I am attracted to you, so I still want you sexually very badly" 2. "I can't be your friend anymore because I am attracted to you, and it's too hard on me so I want to actually stop the friendship" Sorry if I'm reading too much into this haha. Don't know which you mean. combination of both....i can't be your friend anymore because I still want you very bad and it's too hard on me so i want to stop the friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
Polak Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Then I guess there's no point in beating around the bush... tell it like it is! Considering you want to end the friendship, there is nothing else to lose. Lay it out clearly for him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author emva07 Posted September 30, 2013 Author Share Posted September 30, 2013 (edited) oh btw.....by attracted I don't mean I want a relationship with him,lol. I mean physical attraction. I get so horny around him but I can't do anything about it. Edited September 30, 2013 by emva07 Link to post Share on other sites
Babolat Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 (edited) I just went thru this, literally this weekend. And it's a first for me...still processing it, though as I type this out, i feel good about it. I have been hanging out with a girl for a few months. Lots of sexual tension, mostly from her. I was OK with just being friends, plus I had some other stuff going on I needed to resolve, which I now have. I find her very attractive, a sexy librian kind of way. She speaks negatively about her body and her looks, which is unattractive, but it is what it is. I have learned I just can't compliment her. She disappeared for a few weeks, popped back into my life for a weekend, then disappeared again for a few weeks, then popped back in. The last "pop" in, I could tell something was a little different with her, like she had settled/resolved some things on her side. I had too, so I think it was a timing thing for us. This weekend, she came over to my place, we went out for dinner, came back and I said to myself, what the heck, make a move. So I did. I put my arms around her and started touching her. She did not say no, but she did pull back after a few minutes and said "I do not want to date, I just want to have fun and sex, just don't know if I have the balls to do it". Yeah, she said "the balls". I said the same, we talked briefly and then I pulled away to give her her space and time to think. She got a little frustrated, yet I did not go touch her agin. We went out to bar, danced, had a lot of fun, back to my place. While at the bar though I kissed her, first on the cheek and then just a lot of quick kisses. Back at my place things got a little more heated. Along the way I would stop and ask her if she was OK as we were progssing, and she said yes. After about 45 mins of fourplay, petting, touching, kissing, etc...I then said "do you now have the balls?", and she said yes and the rest is history. If she would have said no I would have been fine stopping. I think you just need to go for it if you are willing to lose the friendship. She did, though I had to help her get there if you will. She wanted to do it badly, I could tell, and gave me enough hints where I took it from there. She even said afterwards that when she came over Friday her intent was to have sex, she just did not know if she could go through with it. She texted me the next morning asking if coming back over the next night was too aggressive...that was an easy one to answer, get over here. The 2nd night was 10X better than the prior night, even though the first night was amazing. Watching the sexy libriran shy type let lose..oh my. So, I say go for it. Don' talk to much about it either. Don't over analyze it to death. I did with her 2-3 months ago with her and I think it pushed her away. I told her I can't do this and can't do that, when, all the while, I think all she really wanted was to have sex with me. Give him some hints, see if he bites, check his level of interest, then take it from there. Edited September 30, 2013 by Babolat Link to post Share on other sites
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