One night stand with friend... relationship ahead?

[lost_in_a_dream]

so... I'm 22... I also have had a rough summer and a certain friend was always there to listen to my woes. We have been friends for 8 years, by the way. We've always been flirty and we started our friendship by him asking me out waaaay back in high school. Now we're both finishing up college and looking towards the future and we met up last Friday night. After a few hours of talking and just good clean flirting we went back to his place where we started to argure about friendships and how they can or cannot survive a nice makeout-session. I was in the middle of talking about how I am a prude and he shut me up with a kiss... which went a lot further than we both intended. As evident neither of us happened to be prepared for the event at hand. Long story short, I told him we couldn't do this for various reasons, he said he couldn't for various reasons... and in the end we still did it. I've only had sex with one other guy, my ex-fiance. He knows this all. He's had a few partners, how many... I'm not sure. We also discussed how this was going to be weird so I'd leave in the morning when he was sleeping... I don't think he believed me because he said goodnight and held me and we both went to sleep... I got up before him and snuck out. Now he's not called me and I'm too chicken to call him. Any advice? I really want a relationship with him but am not sure how to explain this to him. He already knows that I'm not into one night stands... let alone with my best guy friend... I've really messed up.

[Merin]

Well.. honestly I think you gave him the impression that obviously you were going through with having sex with him, BUT that you had your mind set that a romantic relationship was NOT in the cards for the 2 of you..

 

You know, at this point IF a romantic relationship IS what you're wanting.. then you really need to get in touch with him and have a conversation about what happened and how you're feeling.

[lost_in_a_dream]

yeah... I just know that he's always been the guy I've gone to with my own relationship woes and I was his vent box, too... now it's like we'd be telling one another that we're having trouble but it's with one another. If that makes sense... I hope.

 

Anyways, the big thing is- how do I go about this subject with him? Do I just call and say 'hey, friend, buddy, pal... since we've last brought the physical aspect of this out and I've always said that I just wanted to be like a Sex In The City girl and have casual sex... yeah. I lied. And I like you... a lot. ' I don't even know what to do... call? text? IM? Show up at his house? I'm so bad at this. Normally I let the guys come to me and if I don't like them then I just say so. I've never been in this situation where I'm the one going after someone. I don't want him to slip through the cracks but I don't want to scare him away, either.

[Merin]

Honestly sweetie.. I think the 2 of you've been friends a little to long and been there for one another through to much to start being anything but honest now.

 

While I can understand that bringing the element of sex into the picture has changed things a lot.. he is STILL the same guy you've always known..

 

Yes, I do think you should tell him that you were wrong when you said you could handle casual sex, Yes I do think you should tell him that you would like something more..

 

I know it's hard.. just keep in mind.. he is still your friend.. and IMO I cannot think of anyone I would want to date more than my best guy friend that I just happened to have a physical attraction to;)

 

Don't text him.. Don't email him.. call him and tell him you would like to talk.

 

You can do this;)