Too close for comfort? How far to go to avoid bumping into the ex

[ChampionSound]

Hi.

 

Two years ago I was dumped by a girlfriend who I cared very much about and hoped to spend my life with. I made lots of mistakes by contacting her too often initially, not giving her room, sending letters and emails... lot of mistakes.. She told me she was still in love with me a year after the break, but that it still couldn't work.

 

Since then I have gone back to school, gotten a much nicer place, taking better care of myself, more positive relationships, and just got my stuff more together in general. *I'm over her finally*, I'm truely happy and I have a clear vision of what I want for the future. But...

 

Of course I still think about her sometimes. We have bounced a few emails back and forth talking about making peace with eachother over a few incidents which I created after the break that left some bad feelings between us. She said in email that she would like to clear the air between us and get to know who I am today, although we haven't done that yet. I want her to make the movement towards me for a change, and she hasn't yet.

 

BUT... there is a DJ who she loves playing in our city soon. He had sentimental value for 'us' way back when.... although this was always more her thing than mine. One of the post-break 'incidents' that she was angry with me over was when I saw her at a club and gave her a kiss on the cheek in front of her friends.... I thought it was normal at the time, but in hindsite I can see why it could have been upsetting. Anyway, since then I have avoided the part of town that she lives in, certain types of events and so on....

 

I sent her an email last week basically saying that I wouldn't be surprised if we started bumping into eachother once in a while... and I asked her if we do cross paths to understand that I am there for myself, not as a chance to see her... and that I am aware it is a small city and am concerned about making her feel imposed on. No response yet, but she sometimes takes several weeks/months to reply to these things.

 

So should I avoid going to the DJ thing that she might be at? If she is there it will be hard to avoid eachother because it is a small club (less than 500 people). I don't want to make her feel like I'm chasing her, or imposing on her... or am I just thinking too much about this? Thanks....

[Merin]

The relationship ended 2 years ago.. you've moved on, she's moved on..

 

So if you want to go to the thingy.. LOL whatever it is.. then go because it's what YOU want to do, not because you're hoping to run into her.

 

IF she does happen to be there.. all okay you know? Don't get wierd about it.. say hello, be nice but for obvious reasons don't kiss her on the cheek? For real, she got mad when you had kissed her on the cheek in front of her friends when the 2 of you were dating?

 

Anyway.. yeah, you may be over thinking this.

[ChampionSound]

Hey Merin, Thanks so much for your advice. Yeah she was really mad at me because I kissed her on the cheek after we broke up. It was bad judgement on my part.... and of course this is all oversimplified. If I accounted for every mistake I made it would take pages. Live and learn though, you know?

 

Thanks.

[Merin]

Originally posted by ChampionSound

Hey Merin, Thanks so much for your advice. Yeah she was really mad at me because I kissed her on the cheek after we broke up. It was bad judgement on my part.... and of course this is all oversimplified. If I accounted for every mistake I made it would take pages. Live and learn though, you know?

 

Thanks.

 

Live and Learn.. all any of us can do;)

 

You're welcome

[heckno]

Go to your undergrounds and forgeddaboudit.. it's been a long long time.

 

Championsound, artist bookings? hmmm