davidhdl Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Hello, My name is david and I could use some advice.I have been in a relationship with a girl who has been overdosing on zanax.She has been taking them for about 8 years or longer.Over the past couple of months her overdosing has become a every day habit. We were living together and two weeks ago after a severe argument she packed up everything and moved out.I tried to fix her, I tried and tried and then I found out you cant fix them.She has no money, no car, no furniture, the only thing she has is her clothes.Up to a few months ago our relationship was excellent and then zanax addiction set in. Never in my life have I been subject to an addict.It wakes you up very quick. Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted September 30, 2013 Share Posted September 30, 2013 Hello, My name is david and I could use some advice.I have been in a relationship with a girl who has been overdosing on zanax.She has been taking them for about 8 years or longer.Over the past couple of months her overdosing has become a every day habit. We were living together and two weeks ago after a severe argument she packed up everything and moved out.I tried to fix her, I tried and tried and then I found out you cant fix them.She has no money, no car, no furniture, the only thing she has is her clothes.Up to a few months ago our relationship was excellent and then zanax addiction set in. Never in my life have I been subject to an addict.It wakes you up very quick. If she has been taking Xanax for 8 years, she isn't recently addicted. That is a long time to be on this benzodiazepine. Xanax is a short acting benzo, which makes it more physically addictive than other benzos. Withdrawal can be brutally uncomfortable to dangerous...as in seizures. She will likely need medical help. Can you support her in getting to an emergency room? They can address the level of care she'd need to safely get off this drug. Often a taper with a different medication is needed, sometimes with an inpatient stay. If you can support her in getting help that would be a great first step. Not easy, but better than her dying from overdose, withdrawal or from obtaining this drug illegally (as I am assuming she is doing). Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author davidhdl Posted October 1, 2013 Author Share Posted October 1, 2013 I wish that I could help her, However she packed up everything and moved to a homeless shelter for woman.I for the past year have been her enabler.It has taken me the past few weeks to realize that I was guilty of takeing care of all her needs.house, car, monies, food cell phone and now after a few extreme over dosing days we had words and when I got home she was gone. I love this woman with all of my heart.Being 50 plus years old I have come to realize that doctors give these pills away to try and cure the problem not the real cause of the problem. She has not answered any of my calls, or texts. My hope for her is that she gets the help that she needs in this homeless shelter.At my age any addiction will sooner or later destroy a relationship its only a matter of time and whaen it does the person without an addiction is left to only pick up the pieces.How sad...... Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 I'm sorry to hear this. Sounds like you've done what you can. Now take care of yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Benzo addiction is very, very serious, and eight years is long-term. You will absolutely not be able to help her, unless she is 110% ready, willing, and able to help herself. She's not. Look after yourself, and wish her all the best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Benzo addiction is very, very serious, and eight years is long-term. I've been on and off that stuff several times. It has never been a problem for me. Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 On what dosages, and for what periods of time? Again, I cannot stress enough how serious benzodiazepine addiction can be. We are talking dependence here, not just "being on and off" them here and there. Use and abuse are two very different things, and so is simply taking benzos for a period of time, and becoming dependent on them. If you are dependent, the withdrawals are hell, and can actually kill you if your habit is severe enough. Often, medical detox is required. Benzo addiction has ruined many lives, and they are incredibly hard to get off once you're hooked. There are many, many accounts and even a general consensus that benzo addiction is harder to kick than a heroin/opiate addiction. I just wanted to provide this info, as I do not want the risks trivialised for any future readers. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 (edited) I just wanted to provide this info, as I do not want the risks trivialised for any future readers. Understood. 4mg is what I take now. Have been for a year. It's just like restoril or klonopin. I been on those too. No problem quitting. People hear the word "benzodiazepine" and they freak. Edited October 2, 2013 by skydiveaddict 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LilGirlandOW Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Understood. 4mg is what I take now. Have been for a year. It's just like restoril or klonopin. I been on those too. No problem quitting. People hear the word "benzodiazepine" and they freak. I think the freaking out on this thread is due to the multiple OD's, as well as the length of time addicted. IMO, you're a responsible user, OP's SO is an irresponsible abuser. The comparison being somebody drinking a glass of wine with every dinner, compared to somebody drinking a box of wine every night, passing out blacked-out. Moderation, supervision, responsible usage are all lacking in OP's case. Hopefully the womans shelter will identify her problems and give her the appropriate tools and outreaches to move her forward in the right direction. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 (edited) I think the freaking out on this thread is due to the multiple OD's, as well as the length of time addicted. Perhaps you are right. For me those drugs really don't do much anyway. Edited October 2, 2013 by skydiveaddict Link to post Share on other sites
Author davidhdl Posted October 2, 2013 Author Share Posted October 2, 2013 It has been 2 weeks since she moved out, I can only aasume she went to the shelter.She had talked about going there and to be very honest I just dont want to know.Maybe I am holding out that she did, but in the mean time I have been reading and understanding that I was without an enabler.I wanted to have a relationship with her so bad that I allowed this situation to continue.I can only say this Drugs in a relationship will without a doubt destroy the one s who have been left behind.For weeks she would be just herself, and then without warning the zanax abuase would start and it would become impossible and this I mean impossible to reach out and try to reason or carry on a conversation, It would turn to name calling, accusations, mean words being said. Why and what is the answer for people that can help them because no way could I. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 Perhaps you are right. For me those drugs really don't do much anyway. BTW, I'm also taking ambien too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author davidhdl Posted October 3, 2013 Author Share Posted October 3, 2013 I have to admire your self control of these dangerious drugs. They will believe me if not taken responsable they will with out a doubt Ruin and destroy the lives of so many familes, friends, and anyone who comes into contact with the drug addict. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 (edited) I have to admire your self control of these dangerious drugs. They will believe me if not taken responsable they will with out a doubt Ruin and destroy the lives of so many familes, friends, and anyone who comes into contact with the drug addict. Believe me, it's not a big deal. Like I said, those drugs don't seem to do much for me anyway. I took a double dose of clonazapem tonight. It did absolutely nothing. I may as well have drank a six pack. I am however, addicted to ambien. But even that I got cut from 40 mg. to zero by an army doc after I got home. That did bother me some, but I was able to handle it.My civilian doc put me back on it thank goodness. i Edited October 4, 2013 by skydiveaddict Link to post Share on other sites
eric85 Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 It has been 2 weeks since she moved out, I can only aasume she went to the shelter.She had talked about going there and to be very honest I just dont want to know.Maybe I am holding out that she did, but in the mean time I have been reading and understanding that I was without an enabler.I wanted to have a relationship with her so bad that I allowed this situation to continue.I can only say this Drugs in a relationship will without a doubt destroy the one s who have been left behind.For weeks she would be just herself, and then without warning the zanax abuase would start and it would become impossible and this I mean impossible to reach out and try to reason or carry on a conversation, It would turn to name calling, accusations, mean words being said. Why and what is the answer for people that can help them because no way could I. How long were you with her for total? As you know from my post we are pretty much going through the exact same thing. I like what you said about it being impossible to reach out to them while on xanax. That used to drive me insane. I could spill my heart out and she would have no emotion. She knew how much I hated her on them, she tried to use every excuse in the book as to why she needed them prescribed but I knew all her tricks as I've been an opiate addict in the past. She wouldnt do them much around me because she knew how I felt. So she would make fights so she could go stay with her mom so she could use there. Addiction is terrible and can make the nicest person a monster. When she would stay off them she was the most amazing person.The person I feel in love with but when she was on those she was cruel. Link to post Share on other sites
Divasu Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 Hello, My name is david and I could use some advice.I have been in a relationship with a girl who has been overdosing on zanax.She has been taking them for about 8 years or longer.Over the past couple of months her overdosing has become a every day habit. We were living together and two weeks ago after a severe argument she packed up everything and moved out.I tried to fix her, I tried and tried and then I found out you cant fix them.She has no money, no car, no furniture, the only thing she has is her clothes.Up to a few months ago our relationship was excellent and then zanax addiction set in. Never in my life have I been subject to an addict.It wakes you up very quick. My advice, for her: Research/Understanding. Detox. Rehab. Ongoing Outpatient Care, therapy, support. My mother was taking xanax since her early twenties and became overly dependent on it and down the rabbit hole she went. My sister and I took over her medical management and got her the help she needed. She's doing fantastic and has been xanax free for a year. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 My advice, for her: Research/Understanding. Detox. Rehab. Ongoing Outpatient Care, therapy, support. I guess I'm just weird. Those drugs have never caused a problem for me Link to post Share on other sites
Author davidhdl Posted October 6, 2013 Author Share Posted October 6, 2013 eric, Your situation sounds exactly the same as mine. I have raised the white flag of surrender,When she left without telling me, she had no car, no monies, no job,no furniture, I mean nothing............. NothingShe gave all of her furniture away, gave her car to her son who lives 500 miles away..I have no idea where she is, However I got a text with just her number showing nothing else just here number.She took these pills when I was at work, somedays she was great and then she would change into someone I did not even know.So what ever happens happens. After reading everything I can get my hands I dont hold out that our relationship will ever resume, Link to post Share on other sites
Divasu Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 I guess I'm just weird. Those drugs have never caused a problem for me Not weird. There are a host of reasons why some people become addicted to Xanax, whereas others do not. Part biological, part environmental, developmental factors, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
eric85 Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 eric, Your situation sounds exactly the same as mine. I have raised the white flag of surrender,When she left without telling me, she had no car, no monies, no job,no furniture, I mean nothing............. NothingShe gave all of her furniture away, gave her car to her son who lives 500 miles away..I have no idea where she is, However I got a text with just her number showing nothing else just here number.She took these pills when I was at work, somedays she was great and then she would change into someone I did not even know.So what ever happens happens. After reading everything I can get my hands I dont hold out that our relationship will ever resume, How long was your relationship? What all did you read to make you think it wont resume? I cant raise my white flag..I hold on to hope lk a desperate fool thinking maybe she'll change her mind. I know thats prob the worst thing I can do but I never expected it to end so I'm just lost right now and everyday is getting worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Author davidhdl Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 We were together just about two years.As much as I want her to return I am not expecting a miracle. After so much reading and learing about addiction to zanax I can not see a positive outcome of the relationship. You see I gave her everything, Monies, car, insurance, credit card, everything that I thought you did in a relationship, guess what WRONG........... I was a total enabler without a doubt.I wanted a relationship with her that I would whatever it took to keep her.All along all I was doing was keeping here from healing from her addiction.So if she is at a re hab facility i stand behind her 100% If not she will find someone who will accept her addiction and there is nothing I can do to stop her.So I keep reading and reading about co dependcy alot to be said, being with someone who has a substance abuse problem.I never saw this coming and believe this will bring you down to your knees and will leave you to pick up the pieces of a broken heart, Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 everything that I thought you did in a relationship, guess what WRONG........... I was a total enabler without a doubt. Naw. Don't go blaming all that on yourself. It's bs. Everyone must ultimately answer for their own decisions. So I keep reading and reading about co dependcy alot to be said, being with someone who has a substance abuse problem. "Co dependency" is just a liberal buzz word to blame yourself for the actions of someone else. Don't buy it. Link to post Share on other sites
eric85 Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 We were together just about two years.As much as I want her to return I am not expecting a miracle. After so much reading and learing about addiction to zanax I can not see a positive outcome of the relationship. You see I gave her everything, Monies, car, insurance, credit card, everything that I thought you did in a relationship, guess what WRONG........... I was a total enabler without a doubt.I wanted a relationship with her that I would whatever it took to keep her.All along all I was doing was keeping here from healing from her addiction.So if she is at a re hab facility i stand behind her 100% If not she will find someone who will accept her addiction and there is nothing I can do to stop her.So I keep reading and reading about co dependcy alot to be said, being with someone who has a substance abuse problem.I never saw this coming and believe this will bring you down to your knees and will leave you to pick up the pieces of a broken heart, Your right, our story is very similar except I was an opiate addict for years so I know all the tricks to the trade. I did give her money on a few occasions but I would always find out when she was doing the xanax which caused a lot of our fights. I stood behind her from her worst and was happy when she decided to do rehab. I am devastated that she ended it a few weeks after being there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author davidhdl Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 our situation is very samilar, Mine cost me thousands of dollars, we ate out every night, bought her everything, clothes, cell phone, lived with me and didnt work, gave her the use of a car, credit card, and yet I sit here wondering if she is in re hab,Not heard from her other than a text a week ago and all it said was here number, no words what so ever.So I am in the no contact mode wondering if it is the right thing to do or not, I dont want to be hurt if I contact her,so just well somewhat putting my life on hold. Link to post Share on other sites
Criticality Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 Not weird. There are a host of reasons why some people become addicted to Xanax, whereas others do not. Part biological, part environmental, developmental factors, etc. Yep, we all react differently and have different brain chemistry. Most people won't particularly like opiates, for example. It makes them drowsy and constipated. But a percentage of the population react differently. They get hooked right away, and from that point one will very likely abuse opiates. As for OP... Could you live with your girlfriend if she's on bentos like previously, but doesn't abuse them? The reason I'm asking is cause she's in her fifties. Depending on her dosage, it could take a year or more for her to wean off. If you're addicted to benzodiazepines, its one of the few drugs where the withdrawal CAN kill a person. So for people in the fifties it's not always realistic that they completely quit benzos. I know in my country they often get stabilized, meaning put on a longer acting benzodiazepine in smaller dosages, but never completely weaned off. Link to post Share on other sites
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