kerrie71 Posted November 29, 2004 Share Posted November 29, 2004 My original post: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t51168/ It's been a few weeks, and there have been a lot of inconsistencies. I spent the night with him last Friday, Sunday and Monday nights. He phoned me Tuesday for a brief chat, but didn't return my call on Wednesday, nothing on Thursday or Friday, and then calls Saturday as if no time had passed. I let it go, and had a pleasant chat with him. He called me that day/night a few times, but we didn't see one another. Didn't see one another yesterday, either, although he called and we spoke for a few minutes. So, I saw him three times the week prior, and didn't see him at all this week. And 3 days without a phone call. He usually calls me every day. Going a day without happens now and then, but never three days. And he's not busy. He's in town, not working, no visiting relatives or anything of the like. I didn't address it because I'm trying to be chill and just see where we go. But it's been hard for me to do. This morning he calls me at the office to tell me that he's feeling frisky. I laughed it off and acted coy, although in truth it made me feel like maybe I was only good for one thing in his mind. I'm a bit afraid of being nothing but a booty call. It does seem that we only have sleepovers; we haven't gone out together since our "reconciliation," except for the post-sleepover breakfast out. He did make calls like this to me when we were exclusively seeing one another, so they are nothing new. But, now that I'm unsure what I am to him, I'm reading into them a bit too much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kerrie71 Posted November 29, 2004 Author Share Posted November 29, 2004 And, in case I've been unclear, we've not discussed if we are friends or if we are on the road to getting back together. I do not want to be the one who brings it up. I was hoping that, if I just relaxed and had a wait-and-see attitude, it would happen in time. I'm not the most patient person, so it's been a bit hard. But I know that if I did bring it up before he was ready, it would drive us apart. Link to post Share on other sites
Charlane Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 Tell him that if he is seeing someone else while you are sleeping with him then you can't sleep with him anymore. This is where you have to be tough and get your self-respect. He kicked you to the curb and really you don't need to feel like you are a sometime girl. You need to feel more special than that and he is not giving that respect to you. Tell him you need a REAL MAN that treats you the way that you want to be treated even if it means that you will be alone to wait for him, whoever he is. Get mad. Screw him literally. He is feeling smug and he knows it. As long as he has you as a backup he will feel more strong to prowl so it's worse if you let him walk all over you like that. If he doesn't have you then neither will he have the confidence to hunt for your replacement because that is exactly what he is doing. Let him know that too. If he calls, don't answer. Let him grovel, the jerk. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kerrie71 Posted December 2, 2004 Author Share Posted December 2, 2004 Thanks for the response, Charlane. I've been more distant with him, and less tolerant of the pervy phone calls. I haven't been nasty about it -- I've just laughed it off and dismissed it, telling him to get back to work and to stop pestering me. The ex seems to have had a change of heart overnight. He phoned this morning and said, "I have good news for you. You'll be very happy, I think. I'm going to stop with all the sexual innuendo when calling you. Starting immediately." I was a little confused by the statement and he said, "What's wrong? I thought that that would make you happy." So, I don't know if that means that he's going to take a platonic road with me from here on out, and that we won't be getting back together, or if it just means that I'm not being receptive to his calls and playing along, and he's going to cut it out because he senses that he's bothering me. If we're taking the platonic-friends road, then I guess I just had a month's worth of ex-sex. Charming. Link to post Share on other sites
NiCoLe20 Posted December 2, 2004 Share Posted December 2, 2004 i think you need to stop being so ''available'' for him... if he calls to chill -tell him ur busy, even if ur not, he'll want to chase after u more. when u want to hang out with him does it usually happen? probably not right...so when he wants to hang out , u gotta do the same thing to him that he does to you.... u'll get over the little area in ur relationship quick if you do this..he'll wonder the same things you do... where is she? who is she with? what is she doing? and that will hopefully want him to be w/ you more and hang out more Link to post Share on other sites
Author kerrie71 Posted December 2, 2004 Author Share Posted December 2, 2004 Thanks for the kick in the behind! I've made plans for the next three days, so he couldn't see me if he wanted to. And I invited a friend to come with me to my big company Christmas party, instead of him. He'd probably say no anyway, so why subject myself to that?! He's phoned me twice today to say hi, and he's over-the-moon chipper, which is weird. Something is definitely up. But, screw it. I don't need to know EVERYTHING! I'm not going to be baited, or get upset, or ask questions. Enough. I might be wrong, but something tells me that he's trying to direct us down the friend route, which is fine by me. But, he better be a better friend than he was a boyfriend! Link to post Share on other sites
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