Lilyofthesea97 Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 I would like some suggestion regarding my issue. I'm in love with these two great guys and well I'm having a hard time who to stay with. I know. It's not fair for them as well they don't each other at all. I've been dating my bf Tony for about a year now and we go to the same school. The relationship is great overall but he's been very busy ever since working on a part time job (he's a grade higher than me, I'm a Sophomore) and at times cancels out our date, we've been arguing lately and at times he has to go on vacation with his family for investigation purposes (both of his parents are scientists). Though I'm not always happy in this relationship, there are times that it's great. Overall, it's been getting kind of boring. Though I don't want to let him go. He the one person who made me laugh one time I was sad, long ago when we first met. Anyway, I told one of my friend about it and 3 months ago, she introduced to Henri, a French guy she met through her cousin. Though he's 21 years old, I didn't mind and neither did it. I can be confused for an 18-20 year-old. We've been going out on several dates and I've been practicing my French (I'm currently taking French III but need more practice) more with him. He doesn't know about Tony. I think I've fallen for him too. He is so funny, I like his accent when he speaks English, doesn't cancels dates, is outgoing and is energetic. However, one time there was a close call. I was going to the movies with Henri and as we were making the line for the movie tickets, Tony was there with one of his buddies within only 4 lines ahead of us. I quickly left with Henri and off course he asked what happened but I made an excuse of having a terrible stomachache. I feel bad for doing this off course but it's like both are great. While my bf, might be serious and boring at times he still had good qualities. Henri is good too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lilyofthesea97 Posted October 1, 2013 Author Share Posted October 1, 2013 Or should I leave Henri and focus on my relationship with Tony? If I do, don't know what to tell him. Right now I'm pretty much double dating and it's not so easy. I know I should let go of one of them but as mentioned both have good qualities. At the same time, I'm having trouble keeping up with the lie. I have to create a different account for Henri and be careful with my cell phone. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Well you gotta pick one of them for sure. It's highly unlikely given your age that you'll be with either of them forever. If you keep em both you'll get a reputation that you probably don't want to have..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lilyofthesea97 Posted October 1, 2013 Author Share Posted October 1, 2013 I know. I'm trying to decide which one to pick. I felt bad a couple days ago when I was with Tony. He said about loving me and how he would never cheat on me and it was such a sweet talk. If he knew about what I was doing, he would probably send me to hell. Don't want that. I feel like I got into a mess. I guess I'm going to pick Tony and break it off with Henri in a nice way. Hopefully neither of them find out about each other. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 You should be single for a while. Right now, you're playing both of them. You know that's not cool. It's clear you're not ready to commit to your boyfriend, and you've essentially been lying by omission to the other guy. Take some time to be alone for a while. You're young, and likely wouldn't wind up with either one of them anyway. Have your fun, but don't do it by being deceptive. Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted October 1, 2013 Share Posted October 1, 2013 Also, the title of this thread sounds like a name for a porno.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
giblesp Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 You don't love either of these two men. Set them and you free. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 You're a Sophmore in High School. Kids your age change boyfriends and girlfriends like most people change their socks. Why don't you just date both of them? It's not like you're picking your future mate for life, or something. What a terrible attitude. At no age is it acceptable to deceive and hurt people that care about you for you own selfish desires and weaknesses. Honesty and integrity is something that you should strive for at any age. Playing with people's emotions and risking seriously hurting people like this is abhorrent, no matter how old you are. OP - your behaviour is inexcusable. Stop it immediately. Let your boyfriend go so he can find someone that loves and respects him. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
samsungxoxo Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 (edited) On top of everything said, assuming the OP is 16 years old according to her sn, wouldn't Henri get in trouble for dating her? If they do anything sexual then I think that would be statutory rape. The OP should leave them both for their own good. Tony deserves a nice girl that won't cheat on him and Henri deserves an honest girl that's 18 and older. Edited October 2, 2013 by samsungxoxo Link to post Share on other sites
James-London Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 this is quite similar to my situation, and I would be the Tony guy in your situation. I found out about my now ex having some kind of affair with a French guy. I want you to know that my ex was the world to me and what she did has totally destroyed me. I imagine my ex had a similar thought process to you because she liked both of us, didn't know who to choose, so played us both. The only difference is that the French guy knew about me, and I didn't know about him. I would like to speak for Tony right now and ask you - does he deserve this? He seems to love you, like I loved my ex. Why are you being so cruel and selfish? Do you think you deserve to cheat and mess around behind his back? If you think you are not doing anything wrong as long as he doesn't find out, you would be wrong. You need to tell Tony that you cannot be together because you are not ready to commit. You should tell him that you are interested in someone else and that it is not fair on him to stay together with him.... he should not be angry with you for having feelings for someone else (that is just how the world works), but he will be angry with you for lying to him. Once you have left Tony, see how things go with Henri. If you ever decide to get back with Tony, you must tell him EVERYTHING about how you broke up with him for Henri etc. He would probably wonder why he should trust you a second time. I know you are still young so you are learning about these things. I'm 32 and my ex is 30... I hope you can learn this stuff now so you don't turn into the person my ex is. Link to post Share on other sites
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