My friend is having sex with my dead friend's girlfriend! Should I be mad?

[Kelly M]

I have known this guy for awhile. We hung out a handful of times and it was always with other people. We never hung out alone. But he was constantly trying to go out with me one on one, and was always texting me and calling me. I helped him through so many problems and took the time out to talk to him, and help him. I was always hesistant with him cause I was unsure if he just wanted to hookup with me, and I am not that kind of girl. Well my friend died August 8th, and I went to the layout and Jim was there. He was also best friends with Mikey (the guy that died) Well Mikey's girlfriend was acting weird with Jim.

 

A couple of red flags. 1. Jim said "I wasn't even going to go, but Jessica said but Mikey would want you here.

 

Why would she care if Jim is there? Her boyfriend is laying dead in a casket, why should she care who is there? I was grief stricken that I lost my friend, I didn't give a f*** who was there, and I was just a friend.

 

2. She immediately started to text Jim alot. She was saying how she'll never find a guy again. And this was only a couple of days after the funeral. That's a weird reaction to have. I would be more concerned with grieving, and I would be so distraught that I lost my boyfriend. I went into a deep depression for 3 weeks when Mikey died, and again I was just friend, but I needed therapy and the works to get me out of my depression.

 

Well, I was suspicious of Jim and Jessica. They acted weird. They acted almost as if they are going out. Just from Facebook, and such. Well it only has been a little over a month, but the signs were there even during the funeral, so I literally think they were screwing each other maybe even before Mikey died.

 

Anyways, Jim texted me and said "I am onto something good I will fill you in later" Then on FB he posted a pic of Jessica with Her and Mikey's baby. So I texted him the next night and said "Fill me in lol, don't leave me hanging" He said "I would tell you who I am talking to but you have a gossipy ass household lol" I said "No! Yur secret is safe with me!" "He said "Jessica" I played it cool, I said "Jessica? I don't know who that is. there are so many Jessicas lol!" He said "Ohh" I said "Hey man that's cool! :)" He said "Well her name is Jessica, it's Mikey's girl or whatever she is to him now" I said "Oh Jessica Smith lol" He said "Yeah" I said "How long have you guys been going out?" He said "We are not going out, we are just talking, a lot lol" I said "Cmon, lol!" He said "I'll kill you if you tell anyone" I said "It's cool, you're safe :)" "Does she hang or bang? lol" He said "Whattt, woah easy." I said "I'm just playin lol" "Well hey that's cool! :)"

 

I played it cool but I am devastated and angry, my poor friend who was a really good person has such a pig girlfriend and friend. Should I be mad about this? I don't want any parts of Jim and Jessica to me they are grimey pigs. A month later and she is already f***in some other dude? And who knows he is just saying that now, but I think they were screwing well before Mikey even died. Plus I feel used in the sense that I was there for Jim and gave him the benefit of doubt. Everyone was telling me to stay away he is bad guy and such, but I sill talked to him and hungout with him cause I saw a good person in him, and thought to myself "People just don't understand him" "He has a tough exterior cause of his childhood" I really thought we had a deep connection, and I feel like this just proves he is a piece of ****, and he is not a good person, cause he is screwing his best friend's girl god knows what for how long. They were suspicious even before Mikey died. They just sicken me, and I am so heartbroken for Mikey, cause he would never do that to her. Any thoughts? I need advice! Thank you!

[mammasita]

I don't think you can be mad. Upset, sure. Mad, no. Condolences for your loss but your friend has passed and his girlfriend is no longer his girlfriend.

 

She is immature in her grieving IMO - but we all grieve in different ways. Because she doesn't grieve like you do doesn't mean that she isn't feeling the loss or doesn't miss him. We have no way of knowing.

 

Again, sorry for your loss.

[stillafool]

Yes sorry about the loss of your friend. Your friend is gone now and life has to move on. If they were not cheating behind his back and are just now getting to know each other, I guess it's okay. People grieve differently so you have no idea what they feel. Even in marriage it is only until "death due you part".

[Kelly M]

I don't think you can be mad. Upset, sure. Mad, no. Condolences for your loss but your friend has passed and his girlfriend is no longer his girlfriend.

 

She is immature in her grieving IMO - but we all grieve in different ways. Because she doesn't grieve like you do doesn't mean that she isn't feeling the loss or doesn't miss him. We have no way of knowing.

 

Again, sorry for your loss.

 

 

Thank you! I appreciate your answer! But I know I can't judge how people grieve, and I shouldn't. I saw though how the way they were even before Mikey died. They were some hidden innuendos between them, that was weird to me. Also Jim posted about 2 weeks ago saying "I am blessed, it's official I am going to see the birth of my baby in 7 months" He deleted the post like an hour later. I just hope it's not Jessica's cause then that says for sure they were having sex with each other when Mikey was alive, and that is just grimey. Also it's grimey to me cause Jim was friends with Mikey first and they were best friends, along with me too! I always loved Mikey. I always wanted to be with Mikey, but I never told him how I really felt about him. And then he gets a girlfriend, and I just kept it to myself, and figured I would of course still be friends with him. I saw though how he treated Jessica. He treated her like she was a queen! I never liked her from the start. Cause she was bossy and rude, and would treat Mikey bad when he treated her with respect. She just had no respect for him and she even trapped him with a baby.

 

I do feel for her though! Cause that was her boyfriend, I really don't want to bash her, i'm just telling like it is, that I had a bad feeling about her from the very start, but of course I knew it wasn't my place to say anything or to tell Mikey, that she seems like bad news. I miss my friend more than anything, and I just think it's a slap in the face that his best friend, and girlfriend are in a relationship now. It just sickens me cause poor Mikey is dead in the ground. My heart breaks for him. I understand though people grieve differently, but if she was going out with other guys, and dating that would be one thing, but to be in a relationship so quickly with your boyfriend's best friend, is just wrong and grimey to me on both parts. To me they BOTH are disgusting pigs. Thank you, and I am sorry for ranting, I am just really hurt. Take care!

[Kelly M]

Yes sorry about the loss of your friend. Your friend is gone now and life has to move on. If they were not cheating behind his back and are just now getting to know each other, I guess it's okay. People grieve differently so you have no idea what they feel. Even in marriage it is only until "death due you part".

 

 

Thank you! I appreciate your condolences! I understand that one should move on, you can't live in grief forever, but I am more upset about the fact that it was Mikey's best friend and his girlfriend. Mikey was such a sweetheart! He really was a good guy, and my heart breaks for him. She wasn't good to him in the relationship. She trapped him with a baby and she just disrespected him and controlled him all the time. And Mikey was just so nice and calm. Like I said, if she was dating guys that would be one thing cause she feels "lonely" or that is how she grieves, or whatever, that would be one thing. But she is in a relationship with his Best Friend, and it's only been a month! They acted weird with each other before hand, even when Mikey was alive, and I looked over that, cause I figured "Mikey will see and learn for himself that he doesn't need a girl like this" and he didn't. I understand people grieve differently, but I just don't like the fact that it's with Jim. His Best Friend. Honestly, to me, Jim and Jessica are both disgusting, and grimey to me. They BOTH are just disgusting. It hurts me cause Mikey just didn't deserve any of this.

 

Again, I am not trying to be mean, cause I know she is probably grief stricken, and is handling it differently, but I just find it odd it's Jim. Any other guy, fine, but his best friend? Cmon, and Cmon to Jim too! That is so weird to me. I highly doubt Jim was a friend to Mikey in the first place, cause of the lack of loyalty. Jim isn't a friend to me for multiple reasons now. I fee like he used me just to help him through his problems, and I feel like he just constantly wanted to have sex with me, so he just wanted to try and use me all the time. I like nice guys, so that;s why my heart was set on Mikey, but now that is completely gone, and now I will never have a chance with him. I just hope everyone understands my frustration and anger why, it's like those 2 Grimey pigs could have had each other and I could have had Mikey, where at least I would treat with respect and not control him and such. We had such a great friendship as it is. Thank you! And sorry for the long response, I am just trying to make things clear, and sorry if I sound rude, I am just heartbroken and mad over this situation. Take care!

[Purepony]

After reading his quotes and you quotes I think you should elevate your game and get better friends because this guy sounds like such an idiot if he's responding like that

[Kelly M]

After reading his quotes and you quotes I think you should elevate your game and get better friends because this guy sounds like such an idiot if he's responding like that

 

 

Yes! Thank you! I agree PurePony! I am going to say goodbye to these 2 (Jim and Jessica) cause I have loyalty towards Mikey. He was such a sweet guy, and even though she trapped him with a baby he still wanted the relationship to work and he loved that baby with all his heart. I love that baby as well, but ever since he passed she won't let me see her baby, even though I have been extremely nice to her. But Jim and Jess showed me how much they are pure scum, and I know everyone is saying "People grieve differently" and such, and I understand that, but like I said it just seems so careless. Like they both don't care what they are doing! It just seems like Mikey was a burden this whole time to them. They are acting funny, and I can't believe I hung out with Jim and actually liked him and thought me and him were tight, just like I was with Mikey. But they both showed their true colors, and I am done with both of them. They can live a happy, insane, distrustful, disgusting life together. Sorry for the rant as you can tell I am extremely angry and I just can't fathom the pain I feel in my heart for Mikey. Thank you PurePony, and Take care!