LDR problem. What do i do? She's going away..

[TheyE]

Hi Loveshack,

 

Me and my current gf have been together for almost a year.

We click in every possible way and love eachother deeply. We have already talked about cohabitation, both seea future with eachother in it. We are in love and, mostof our relationship has beengood, we've had some smaller quarrels/fights.

 

A few months ago she got a new job, what kind of job is irrelevant.

She currently only work with guys, thinkthese are 10 +. I havenot had a problem with this at all,but I'll go around and worry that something willhappen. I know she would never cheat on me,and IF she would, she would never be able to keep itfor herself, but wouldnot say it right away either.

 

When she got into the relationship with me, she knew of my insecurity and that I have trust issues. I have told her that a million times and she wanted to have a relationship with me afterall. She moved away.

A few months ago she dropped a bomb on me. Something we have talked about earlier wasn't quite the way i thought it was, she had lied to me, and a lot of trust was broken. I told her that I wouldn't be able to trust her fully, and she understood.

 

 

However, recently she went on afterwork with hercolleagues, and it went well, even tough it was really hard for me.No scandal whatsoever.Either way, they've already put up a Christmas party withthe company, where they will goaway to a place to have a mix of activities, parties, luxury-spa, and, overnight athotel over the weekend.

 

 

To be honest.. I have a real problem with this. She dosent seem to care about me or my feelings towards this. I havent told her about my feelings, either, but anyways.

I feel she really needs to take my feelings in concideration when making a decision-

 

I do not really know how I feel about this. ShouldI tell her?

If so how shouldI express myself?

I can not walk around and feel bad about it,while I do not want her to think I'm an idiot whodoes not trust her. She may think it'sridiculous and all, but it is notOK in my eyes.

 

I do not want herto go on this, and if she does this now, well, ourrelationship will be for the worse.

 

I really need some feedback from you guys who have experience in this area, aswell as some comfort and insight on waht to do with this.

 

I am sorry if this post is incoherent and unclear. English is not my mother tongue.

 

Thank you LS!

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[CherryT]

I agree that she should take your feelings into consideration when making decisions, but can you also do the same? She is working and this is a work retreat. Her job is 'relevant' in the sense that if this is a career opportunity you should be supportive and not making her choose.

 

I understand that you have insecurities but what are you doing to overcome these? What did she lie about? And what makes you not trust her? If you don't trust her then why be with her? I honestly don't see anything wrong with business trips. I go on them frequently and if my fiance told me to stop going on them because I worked with men, we would never work out. He needs to trust me and I need to trust him. If he were to make me choose my career over him, I would resent him.