MelodyJ Posted November 29, 2004 Share Posted November 29, 2004 We recently moved in with my parents after a 6 yr relationship that has been bad for the last 4. One daughter (17) did not want to move. Not because she liked my bf, but because she did not want to live with the GP's. My mom is a total pack rat, does not clean, and drinks too much. Ok, we can try to deal, it is temp. She (daughter) is not helping at all. This morning she got mad because her contacts were missing, yes our stuff is in total disaray, with half in storage, but she had all weekend and then some to locate them and waited until 5 min b4 school to look. Then she yelled at me, so of course I react, because I had to pack our stuff all by myself, I kept it as organized as poss, and even numbered each box with a list of contents!!! When I leave he room I hear "bit*h"! So, I head back in the rm, and tell her that no man, woman, or child will ever call me that again!! And then I say if she does not like it, she can live with her dad, go call him names!! So, I go to storage, find her contacts in her neatle labeld box, and come back. She is packed and says she is leaving. I tell her no, she is a minor and for the next 2 mos. she is mine. After that, 18, she can do what she wants. I don't think she really wants to leave me, dads gf gets on her nerves, but she is stubborn and might just try it to prove a point. I know we need to get organized, but it has only been a week, give me some time, geeez!!! The other 2 kids are just fine. They don't care about the mess, they trust and love me, and are happy to be out of the other situation. This one child is making everyone miserable. Moody, cussing under her breath, and pouty. Is it the age? Please, anyone with teen girls, give me some insight. Give me a baby anytime, I am great with small children!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted November 29, 2004 Share Posted November 29, 2004 Hi there Mrs. M I think it is partially due to that age. Also, part of it may be that she's feeling some hate between you and her dad for not staying together, or for the situation you're in, whatever that may be. I think you're doing the right thing by sticking to your guns. Even though you all are staying in your parents house, you should keep total control over her until she's of age to get out on her own. There will be people who disagree with me, but that's ok. She's your daughter and no matter what's been going on, she is to treat you with the utmost respect or face the consequences. Link to post Share on other sites
VivianLee Posted November 29, 2004 Share Posted November 29, 2004 Hey gal, I have 17 yr old daughter also. I think with your daughter that part of it is her age and the other is she's unhappy at how things are going domestically...so bear that in mind when you want to strangle her . Hang in there, even though things aren't great, she still needs to respect you. Don't back down! Let her know you love her but she is still the child and you are the Mama. They try to get away with as much as they possibly can, especially during a crisis....just be there for her BUT don't be her punching bag. I wish I had more advice to give but I'm still working on these very things myself...I don't have the link but check on here and you'll see my thread about my 17 yr old. I was given WONDERFUL advice!! Right now, my daughter isn't acting up at all, she still have those moments of "frustrated teenage girl" but she has calmed down and I have stayed constant in my way of handling her (no backing down).... Take care and good luck....(PM me if you need to vent even more!!) Link to post Share on other sites
Sukotto Posted November 29, 2004 Share Posted November 29, 2004 Stubborn teenage girls, i'm sure her priorities are something like this: appearance clothes boys looking cool Since living with the grandparents isn't probably cool then she's looking for someone to blaim since she's not getting her way. She's unhappy and will probably try and see how far she can push. Dont let her get away with it, she may move in with her dad if she decides its better than the current situtation, maybe living with dad and girlfriend would be "cooler" than staying with mum, siblings and grandparents. Your the mum and as long as she's 17 she has to live by your rules and thats it, nothing else should be open for discussion especially during a crisis like this when you've had to relocate. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MelodyJ Posted November 29, 2004 Author Share Posted November 29, 2004 Thank you all for caring enough to respond. I will not back down. I will not let one child disrupt the entire household. I did see her at lunch, she needed a shirt for work, she has a part time job at a coffee house, and I took it and gave her a ride to work, and told her I loved her, and that is all. She was not being nice, but not mean either. Tonight they go to dads for a week and I will organize "our room" as best I can and maybe that will make a difference. Why are moms always everyones punching bag? Sometimes it feels like everyone thinks it is ok to treat me like sh*t, from the old bf to the kids, and that hurts more than anything. Like I have no feelings. They know I will forgive and forget, but that doesn't make it any less hurtful. Man, I can feel a good cry coming on, I just have to wait till they leave so they don't see it. Link to post Share on other sites
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