Can we work this out? He broke up with me out of the blue

[Fufu]

Guys!!!!!!!!!!!

 

He wants to be with me again!! He held me and said "I promise to read the book, I promise to look over all articles you gave me and l'll go to the therapist you found. Please stay by my side and work on this together. You are right, life isn't just black /white and easy. I am happier with you in my life and thats very important, you wanting to be with me even when it's not easy... With this dysfunctional person...I want to be with you too. I want to be happy for myself and I will work on me for us."

 

I will keep an eye on him of course and my internal deadline is still there for myself and my needs, since actions do speak louder than words.

 

But it's very good news for me and the anxiety of being in limbo is relieved. Working out these issues together is much more hopeful.

I have the keys again!

 

Thanks for the support guys!! I hope I'm not back in december saying I gave it a try and he failed. haha

 

 

I'm happy for both of you Great blessings!

[h0000]

i kind of broke NC today (who would have thought!)

i saw his FB status, asking for some advice and I knew the answer so I just commented..provided him some information. I was expecting some "thank you "or like? but he didnt act on it at all..

I felt ignored and hurt..am I overreacting on FB or he just doesn't want anything to do with me?

[Crashandburn]

Oh no h0000!

The thing is that's just hurt you didn't have to go through.. If he were your bf OR a friend and he didn't comment you wouldn't even think twice about getting a comment or a like. That's why we have to do NC until the day you wouldn't think twice about it. Don't over think it, just keep on and don't take it personally.

[h0000]

i expected more cuz he wronged me and when you wrong people you put more effort to make it up with them? and this probably just means he doesnt care at all anymore.

[BeautyPrincess]

@h0000 oh no!!! I'm not sure whether he'd have meant it like that, but without knowing him it's hard to guess! Maybe take facebook stuff with a lunch of salt, I barely ever reply to people on there! Not out of rudeness or ignorance but I tend to forget that they've posted anything in the first place! It tends to be only my best friends I reply to. But that's just me?

 

@crashandburn yer you're right, I've already been rejected so haven't really got anything to lose. I just feel like it's gone way beyond the point of being able to say anything now, I mean it's over a month since it happened. I'm guessing you and your guy probably have a longer relationship history than me? It was only around 6 months but very intense. I have realised that he ended it afte 3 months both times? Like he gets scared at around that time? I don't know. Probably thinking waaaay too much in to it!

[h0000]

no he replies to posts. not every one of them but 80% of them? and mine became that 20% he didn't reply. I think its obvious he doesn't want to encourage anything.

when we just broke up he commented on every post of mine. now nothing? but then again..am I reading too much over Facebook

has your guy sent breadcrumbs yet? if no, trust me its goooood.

[Crashandburn]

I'm guessing you and your guy probably have a longer relationship history than me? It was only around 6 months but very intense. I have realised that he ended it afte 3 months both times? Like he gets scared at around that time? I don't know. Probably thinking waaaay too much in to it!

 

I know what you mean that you feel like you are thinking way too much about it, but you take this relationship very seriously and this should be important in all our lives. If anyone says otherwise f*ck em. If you can get over the fear of rejection and if you think you can talk to him even once and have some closure for yourself I say go for it.

 

We were together for 1.5 years. He broke it off once at around 1 year and then again at 1.5. Did you guys talk about marriage? We had been avoiding that talk like the plague haha meeting family etc. so hopefully we can move along a little more now. So if you think your issues are mostly about communication, you definitely have a chance by communicating how you feel and seeing what he is really feeling.

 

Also saw you were on the thread about the "Will a guy leave a girl he's into if he's afraid of getting hurt/hurting her?":

Some guys left early because they knew it wasn't going to lead to marriage.. and others agreed that there was a commitment phobia aspect. It is so very difficult to distinguish the 2 though. I have to trust my BF now that he says he is the later, I am still weary tho.. working on the trust thing.

 

Which is better? To have been loved but rejected due to fear or to have been liked but just not for the long haul and let go early enough it won't kill us.

[BeautyPrincess]

I know. I guess I've got to think really long and hard about whether it's worth the potential heartache even further down the line.

 

We didn't necessarily talk about marriage. He told me he'd be lucky to marry me but neither of us were anywhere near ready for that!! He did say that he could easily live with me etc and yes, I met his family, he met mine as well. Which makes me wonder if it wasn't going to work in the future why meet the families? I dunno. Maybe he was just really good at talking the talk!

 

Mmm I know that's true with guys. But how do you know whether something is going to lead to marriage after such I short amount of time. I'm of the mindset of just taking each day as it comes and enjoying each other in the early stages? I don't feel like you can look too far in to the future at that point? Maybe after a year or so, but maybe that's just me, because I'm nowhere near ready for marriage yet?