mitspack Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 i have been seeing my boyfriend for 9 months now, i had just come out of a 14 year mentally abusive relationship.... i love my new man dearly and he loves me too,cares for me and is rather nice all round! he has a very high sex drive...so do i which is good and its the best loving sexual relationship i have had... i know i have trust issues...usually i trust people too quickly then get hurt... my boyfriend works away a lot and i have the keys yo his flat...i snooped and found things...well they were not hidden away just in a top draw...i found a lacy thong...not mine! a mini vibrator, and a picture of his ex from 3 years ago plus some things she had given him? i had previously come across by accident loads of pictures of him and various ex's having sex...boob shots and genitals etc.... i confronted him about this and he said he did not realise they were there and he did remove them! i also snooped at his phone and he had pictures of porn...which is ok, but mixed in with them he had pictures of ex girlfriends bits!!! i know if i confront him about it he will flip! as i would have untrusted him... i dont want to spoil our relation ship but i am worried about what i found...he says he loves me and we are soul mates he said he wants to be with me forever, asked me to marry him even?....i just dont know what to do! i took the items from his flat....now i am thinking i should return them and pretend i never saw them? help me....i would appreciate any advice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mitspack Posted October 2, 2013 Author Share Posted October 2, 2013 thanks that is helpful....i know my head is very messed up by my past relationship.......i need to work on my trust issues....thank you Link to post Share on other sites
crederer Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 You trust people too easily in the beginning? Your actions display zero trust. How long have you been together? I'm quite certain I have photos of my ex's stashed around somewhere if someone looked hard enough would probably find em. I don't ever look at them or can even confirm that they still exist, but I'm sure there are some lurking about. Link to post Share on other sites
KatZee Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 So not only do you have severe trust issues, you also have problems with boundaries. I'm not sure what right you thought you had going into his apartment, going through his things, and then TAKING things that do not belong to you. What were you planing on doing with someone else's lacy thong, vibrator and pictures??? Are you thinking he's not going to notice these missing items? Were you planning on telling him you snooped? I'm not sure what your actual thought process is here... Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 All of the stuff you " found " has likely been there long before you. Guys are not like girls We will forget we have something if we don't care /never look at these objects or pictures. The real problem here is that you have serious trust issues and you snooped throughout high his place and his phone. Deal breaker for a lot of guys, and he might just break up with you on the spot for being so nosy, because its a pretty big sign that you are controlling. How about having a little respect for this person you supposedly love, and leaving their things alone. If you go looking for problems, you will always find them. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Its almost like some girls expect you to either never have ever been with anyone else, PR they tjey aspect you completely wipe out any trace that there was ever another woman in her life. FYI, I have a bullet vibrator and a thing behind my bed on the floor. I haven't been with that girl in over a year. So if a girl found that she would automatically assume I'm cheating... even though those things have been sitting there for a long.... long time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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