serial muse Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 (edited) I'm having some trouble giving that up. To be a button down dork just sounds awful to me. Huh. This is so black-and-white. It's like a shallow, laugh-track sitcom idea of what "growing up" means. There are plenty of cool people happily dating one another in their 30s AND 40s who aren't buttoned-down dorks. You happen to be in a city full of them. I lived there for many years. There are an awful lot of them. The fact that you can't seem to locate them is weird to me, and seems to point strongly to you not wanting to. I think the above statement kind of says it all, really. This doesn't seem like it's really about the age of the women you're dating at all. You fear "growing up" and you're dating women half your age to stave it off. Which would be totally fine, if you were genuinely cool with it. But it sure seems like you aren't, at least not all of the time. I honestly don't know though, because as I've posted before, you seem to not really know what you want. But what is clear is that you have a really incomplete and strange idea of what it means to be a grownup. It's really not about wearing a suit and working in an office. I wonder who planted that idea in your head, so that it took root so firmly. It comes up a lot in your posts. Edited August 18, 2015 by serial muse 3 Link to post Share on other sites
TouchedByViolet Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Age doesn't indicate maturity. Older women are no more mature than the younger ones. Same goes for men. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bobbi7 Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 I tried Tinder once and half of the guys were not my type, not the least bit attractive, maybe it had to do with the area that I live at, I don't know. Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 It's a shame I went off and got married, LW. I'm only ten years older than you. I'm carrying a couple of extra pounds at 120, but I carry it well. I pull off a great thrift shop chic interspersed with scrubs. I grow my own veggies, and a lot of other greenery, wink, wink. I've been to Woodstock (the sequel) and was quite content in my own skin, unwashed for five days. I still have a pair of earth shoes! Damn, I get seasick. Nevermind. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Have you talked to you doctor about the baby aspirin? What about your fiber intake? I skip off to my white willow grove and nibble the bark. Two birds with one stone. Got a chair in that shower, do ya? The grab bar is working well for now. Perhaps when I plump up a bit I'll need it. Can't bend over to shave my legs tho, so gave that up. No one at Saugerties complained. Loving the AARP bennies, especially the lunch coolie sack. Not too big, not too small, it's JUST RIGHT. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Tinder is not a dating app. Grindr/Tindr are hookup apps. There's a HUGE difference. I think maybe tinder in Australia is a lot different then. Most girls I see on it specifically say not looking for hookups. Anyone I know using it is using it like a dating app. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NVO Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 I find the 'matching results' throughout this thread very interesting. Makes me wonder, do you think there is some kind of success formula to it? When you are the one that had a lot of matches, how many pictures did you have on your account? What kind of pictures? Did you write something in the biography section? Or was it due the large pool of women? When I used this app it took me two days before I ran out of matches. Also take in mind that Tinder is experimenting with a paid service here in Holland, so after a several amount of likes you will have to wait for 12 hours or pay for more 'swipes.' Link to post Share on other sites
Yummm Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 (edited) As I said I have about 80 matches over the last couple months. Just under half reply, and most of them are boring and respond with single word answers and don't ask any questions about you. A few of them instantly gave me their number and when I asked for coffee they just wanted to come over a f**k haha (which I declined as that's not what i'm about)! I just have standard pictures from my FB, there's no 'formula'. I like to have a couple pictures of me so you can see my face clearly, and a couple of pictures with my friends, one of them from summer with some nice scenery in the background. Apart from a couple successful dates, the 80 matches have been pretty useless, so as somebody wisely said here, the number of matches really do mean nothing. PS: I'm from the UK and they also have the paid services where you have to wait 12 hours if you swipe too much! Haha - I also don't write anything in my biography section. Edited August 18, 2015 by Yummm 1 Link to post Share on other sites
johan Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 So you learned one of my online dating secrets. I convert those looking to be sugar babies into free hook ups and dates. Works like crazy to get me the best looking women on Earth. So what? One of my primary skills in life is marketing. I used it to become somewhat wealthy and to gather the best looking women on Earth. Is it a problem for you that I win in life? lol Oh yes. I saw that site. I want to sit on a broken boat going nowhere, designing pages full of cheesy headless selfies and disgusting lies targeting rotten women for cheap sex. All the time pining for the angry cocaine addict with bad morals. I want a parade of hot women passing through my life never staying and never caring about me or me them. How can I get me some of that painful emptiness in my middle age? I want to win, too! Your first, best defense against doubt and criticism is to call people jealous. What is it that you have that you could possibly think someone would want? In your shoes, I throw myself overboard. Good luck with the Tinder women, by the way. Sounds like a great time. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
craw Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 I highly don't recommend Tinder to anyone who wants to look for a relationship. Sometimes it happens and if it does you're lucky! It's just a horrible horrible hook up app!! Link to post Share on other sites
40 Fonzarelli Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Is it true mass liking results in fewer matches due to Tinder's algorithm? I read that your profile won't get viewed as much since Tinder will think you are a bot. Also, not messaging your matches affects your visibility as well. Link to post Share on other sites
Harradin Posted August 18, 2015 Share Posted August 18, 2015 Tinder is driving me up the wall. Had it a year ago briefly but I used to get matches every 3-4 days. I made a new profile 3 weeks ago, haven't had a single match (2 that were bots,) decent brief bio, used decent pictures (no shirtless or anything like that) and gotten absolutely nowhere. Especially as I'm looking for casual! Half tempted to delete the profile as I can go out on the pull and have a slightly better chance at hooking up! Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 (edited) Is it true mass liking results in fewer matches due to Tinder's algorithm? I read that your profile won't get viewed as much since Tinder will think you are a bot. Also, not messaging your matches affects your visibility as well. Well I hope it is. That way maybe we can put an end to the pointless power swiping that's ruining the whole appeal of the thing. Or was it due the large pool of women? When I used this app it took me two days before I ran out of matches. Also take in mind that Tinder is experimenting with a paid service here in Holland, so after a several amount of likes you will have to wait for 12 hours or pay for more 'swipes.' What do you mean by it took 2 days to run of of matches? A match is when you like someone and they like you. Do you mean it took two days before you had no more profiles to view? I believe the paid service is worldwide. Seems pretty pointless though. The only useful feature is the ability to set a different location. I made a new profile 3 weeks ago, haven't had a single match (2 that were bots,) decent brief bio, used decent pictures (no shirtless or anything like that) and gotten absolutely nowhere. Especially as I'm looking for casual! Half tempted to delete the profile as I can go out on the pull and have a slightly better chance at hooking up! How do you know it was a bot? I haven't (knowingly) matched a bot yet in 30 or so matches. Yeah I agree, going out is far more likely to result in success than tinder. But tinder for me is still an order of magnitude better than okcupid. Edited August 19, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Merge Link to post Share on other sites
Heatherknows Posted August 19, 2015 Share Posted August 19, 2015 Oh yes. I saw that site. I want to sit on a broken boat going nowhere, designing pages full of cheesy headless selfies and disgusting lies targeting rotten women for cheap sex. All the time pining for the angry cocaine addict with bad morals. I want a parade of hot women passing through my life never staying and never caring about me or me them. How can I get me some of that painful emptiness in my middle age? I want to win, too! Your first, best defense against doubt and criticism is to call people jealous. What is it that you have that you could possibly think someone would want? In your shoes, I throw myself overboard. Good luck with the Tinder women, by the way. Sounds like a great time. OK. This post IMHO is harsh and won't help LW but probably make him feel like crap. Nobody knows what LW really wants, needs or desires because we are chatting on an online forum and only reading words. Body language give the "tells" of what people mean and often words are meaningless. This is why I keep my online world and my real world separate. LW may want to date young women for the rest of his life. Right now, he's young and attractive enough to date them for "free" when he gets older he will need to shell out some big bucks. Personally, I don't think he's attracted to women his age from reading his posts. Maybe he'll find a very mature 24 year old. I doubt it but he's too drawn to the under 25 crowd to change. I think if he meets this amazing woman his age he won't feel she's "good enough" for him. He want's much younger. So let him live and be well. Link to post Share on other sites
Harradin Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 How do you know it was a bot? I haven't (knowingly) matched a bot yet in 30 or so matches. Yeah I agree, going out is far more likely to result in success than tinder. But tinder for me is still an order of magnitude better than okcupid. I received an automated message sending me some link that "verifies" that their tinder is real, its most likely a phishing site. An update, got 2 real matches this week, the first match blocked me a little while after we were "matched" when I decided to wing her a message. The second hasn't replied as it says the last time she was active was a couple of days ago! I went out Friday night, where I got hit on by 2 girls, the first wasn't my type and the other just wanted a drink so I'm having better odds on one night then I am with 3-4 weeks of Tinder Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 Haven't used this silly app but it's interesting how many female members have been rubbed the wrong way reading about this love weary guys experiences with it. Very telling. Age doesn't indicate maturity. Older women are no more mature than the younger ones. Same goes for men. Quote this a million times. Maturity rarely has to do with age. Older women are just older, nothing more. As are older men. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SomeDude16 Posted October 3, 2015 Share Posted October 3, 2015 I love Tinder LOL, literally all you have to do as a guy is be be confident and direct with your matches and you will have phone numbers in no time. Phone number= set up date= possible relationships. Tinder basically takes all the guesswork out of physical attraction. Willing to post conversation transcripts if any of the members here believe examples could benefit them... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Guyouthere Posted October 4, 2015 Share Posted October 4, 2015 I love Tinder LOL, literally all you have to do as a guy is be be confident and direct with your matches and you will have phone numbers in no time. Phone number= set up date= possible relationships. Tinder basically takes all the guesswork out of physical attraction. Willing to post conversation transcripts if any of the members here believe examples could benefit them... You just put your number on there and you got calls? Link to post Share on other sites
bbcc10192 Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 So I arrived back to the city I work in (which is a good 3 hour drive from my hometown)....and I accessed wifi on my phone. Logged into tinder 30 miutes ago for the first time in this location, and just finished swiping right over 100 times. No matches yet... Does that mean they have come across me and said no? Or will I give it a few hours to a day to get a more accurate idea? Link to post Share on other sites
kpl Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 So I arrived back to the city I work in (which is a good 3 hour drive from my hometown)....and I accessed wifi on my phone. Logged into tinder 30 miutes ago for the first time in this location, and just finished swiping right over 100 times. No matches yet... Does that mean they have come across me and said no? Or will I give it a few hours to a day to get a more accurate idea? keep going! don't worry about how many swipes. Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 So I arrived back to the city I work in (which is a good 3 hour drive from my hometown)....and I accessed wifi on my phone. Logged into tinder 30 miutes ago for the first time in this location, and just finished swiping right over 100 times. No matches yet... Does that mean they have come across me and said no? Or will I give it a few hours to a day to get a more accurate idea? Yeah you will only get an instant match if she has already swiped right on your profile. If you just arrived, then this is pretty unlikely. Give it time. Personally, I have only ever ran out of swipes once, and that is when I was experimenting in another city. Right swiping on all profiles is not a good idea. Be a bit more selective! Link to post Share on other sites
bbcc10192 Posted October 28, 2015 Share Posted October 28, 2015 (edited) Swiped 3 more times, and phew - 2 matches so far! Let's hope they gradually keep coming. Edited October 28, 2015 by bbcc10192 1 Link to post Share on other sites
itisdanielle Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 (edited) Sometimes I'll be the first to message the guys I match with, sometimes I leave it and see if they say anything - which often they don't? Also, I've noticed when I message first, some never respond? What's with that? Is it somehow off putting that I message first? I thought girls making the first move wasn't really an issue these days. Edited October 30, 2015 by itisdanielle Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 Sometimes I'll be the first to message the guys I match with, sometimes I leave it and see if they say anything - which often they don't? Also, I've noticed when I message first, some never respond? What's with that? Is it somehow off putting that I message first? I thought girls making the first move wasn't really an issue these days. Most likely its guys who just mindlessly swipe right without even looking until they run out of likes. Totally defeats the whole point, but someone recomnended it as a "strategy" and now a lot of guys do it. Link to post Share on other sites
adiamond Posted October 31, 2015 Share Posted October 31, 2015 (edited) (girl's perspective) I was on Tinder for about a total of 2 weeks, decided to go on dates with 3 men. I had a lot of matches and about 40% of the guys I matched with messaged me first. Two were dinner dates, and one coffee date and none of the guys I went on dates with were looking for hookups. It was really fun and it's very easy to spot the "hook up" guys. Usually they have no writing on their profiles, or their first message is gross. I usually un-match with them. I didn't feel it with all three guys and I was swamped with school work so I ended it with all three of them after 1-2 dates. In terms of talking on the app, I prefer them to ask me out on dates sooner rather than very boring text talk on the app. I did not like it when the first message is asking me for my number. I prefer a little talking (I got a TON of "how are you today?" and that convo ended up being really boring) be creative! ask me what I had for dinner, talk about the stuff I wrote on my profile, tell me your favorite song etc. Make sure your main picture is only yourself and do not have ALL group pictures. Also, make sure your pictures are good quality. Potato quality pictures of you in your dark basement is a no no Edited October 31, 2015 by adiamond Link to post Share on other sites
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