Tinder dating app

[Meli22]

I went on 3 dates with 3 different guys on Tinder. I didn't hook up with any of them. I didn't see them again because although the dates were good, I felt no connection and wasn't physically attracted to them enough to continue. My friend has been with her boyfriend almost two years and they met on Tinder. A lot of people use it to hook up but not always.

[bbcc10192]

So joined Tinder 10 days ago.

 

I have swiped right or 'liked' 870 girls altogether, and have 15 matches. Was making great ground with 1 girl, and could definitely have asked her on a date. But she just wasn't that attractive. I think I was actually attracted to her (I'm average-below average myself) but I just still have a slight bit of ego/shallowness left in me which prevented me from going along with it.

 

Other than that, I'm chatting to 2/3 other girls at the moment who are relatively attractive. I think one of them is interested in me, as she told me I looked a bit like the actor Jason Segel. When I asked if this was a compliment, she replied 'of course it is '. So that could go somewhere yet... The other girl seems cool but I don't know if she's just on it to make friends more so than dating, and the other ones convo is kind of dying out.

 

Most of my matches happened in the first 7 days, only 2 in the last 3 days. I started off swiping quite liberally, and after realising I was getting some matches I decided to be a bit more picky. So I'm thinking that for an average/below average looking guy like me, that the 'honeymoon phase' might be over and that I can't expect to get many more matches at all in the future.

Edited November 4, 2015 by bbcc10192

[bbcc10192]

Just 1 question actually:

 

Do 'Swipe sessions' tend to correspond with each other? For example, if I swipe right to 50 girls on Monday night, will those girls come across the option to swipe me within the next 24 hours (presuming they use Tinder every day)?

 

Or might those girls not come across my profile for a week, 2 weeks, or even a month - even if they are regular tinder users?

[40 Fonzarelli]

Guys don't waste your time

[Xiomn]

Set up a Tinder date for Monday last night. Asked her out on a date but she wasn't responding for a while despite responding to messages instantly before I asked her. So I said "Taking the no response and hope he gets the message route? I don't have time for games. Bye."

 

She replied instantly all like "sorry i was sorting out my washing, how about monday?"

 

So I was like yeah Monday is good, I set a time and place and she was all like I don't know it can we meet up somewhere then walk there so I said sure, she designated a place to meet up.

 

Then I got her number and she was like "text me so I have your number" so I do just that, leaving it at "See you on Monday at 2" as I don't like pre-date talk.

 

THEN..

 

She randomly texts me at 6am(what the hell!?) saying "sorry I'm sort of seeing someone now we can be mates"

 

Wow..... I texted her in the morning: "Why are you accepting my date and giving me your number over Tinder then?, Let's not play games."

 

her: 'It's only just happened, we can be friends though'.

 

me: 'Not interested. Bye.'

 

her: 'U don't look 20 anyway u look 13'.

 

 

She speaks and acts like a 13 year old... 'U' on several occasions!??! on Tinder she also said 'kwl' instead of 'cool'.

 

I went NC and unmatched her ass on Tinder.

Edited December 12, 2015 by Xiomn

[Xiomn]

Set up a Tinder date for Monday last night. Asked her out on a date but she wasn't responding for a while despite responding to messages instantly before I asked her. So I said "Taking the no response and hope he gets the message route? I don't have time for games. Bye."

 

She replied instantly all like "sorry i was sorting out my washing, how about monday?"

 

So I was like yeah Monday is good, I set a time and place and she was all like I don't know it can we meet up somewhere then walk there so I said sure, she designated a place to meet up.

 

Then I got her number and she was like "text me so I have your number" so I do just that, leaving it at "See you on Monday at 2" as I don't like pre-date talk.

 

THEN..

 

She randomly texts me at 6am(what the hell!?) saying "sorry I'm sort of seeing someone now we can be mates"

 

Wow..... I texted her in the morning: "Why are you accepting my date and giving me your number over Tinder then?, Let's not play games."

 

her: 'It's only just happened, we can be friends though'.

 

me: 'Not interested. Bye.'

 

her: 'U don't look 20 anyway u look 13'.

 

 

She speaks and acts like a 13 year old... 'U' on several occasions!??! on Tinder she also said 'kwl' instead of 'cool'.

 

I went NC and unmatched her ass on Tinder.

 

***************edit**************

 

So I messaged her to apologise because I realized I came off as an arsehole and she responded 'ur a twat'.

 

Few hours later she messages me saying 'I'm not seeing anyone, I was just afraid, lets go out tonight'.

 

Crazy.

[guest569]

Set up a Tinder date for Monday last night. Asked her out on a date but she wasn't responding for a while despite responding to messages instantly before I asked her. So I said "Taking the no response and hope he gets the message route? I don't have time for games. Bye."

 

 

.

 

And you don't think you are acting like a 13yo too? I would run a mile too

[guest569]

Guys don't waste your time

 

Perhaps because women are less shallow or find mr abs intimidating or unattractive. No way of doing a truly accurate test and he still got tonnes of matches so what is the problem

[Xiomn]

And you don't think you are acting like a 13yo too? I would run a mile too

 

Well I know women ignore as a way of getting the message across not all but most of the time so I said it and got a result and so she agreed to date me. Problem? I don't have time for women who can't be straight up about their feelings. I KNOW for a fact women (not just women infact, mostly everyone has their phones on them at all times so there is no excuse, I don't take no BS) So i called her out on it.

 

Besides I think you'll find she's acting more pathetic than me tbh. At least I realized I was being a bit harsh and apologized.

Edited December 12, 2015 by Xiomn

[jay1983]

Problem with tinder is most girls just swipe right for every guy they think is cute with no intentions on meeting.

[Xiomn]

Problem with tinder is most girls just swipe right for every guy they think is cute with no intentions on meeting.

 

Probably because most of them are too scared to meet up when it might actually turn into something good. Get some guts ffs. That and just ego boosting. (applies to men too)

[hasaquestion]

I don't get why people would complain that Tinder is shallow. Obviously its shallow. If you have things going for you that are not the way you look in 3 or 4 pictures... that's going to be lost on Tinder.

 

Part of meeting the opposite sex is doing it in your environment. A place where you are cool and confident and the best you is out there for people to see. Tinder will cover up your confidence, your cool, etc. Its only ideal for lookers. If you're a talker then look to meet people in person.

[dobielover]

In another thread, there was a conclusion drawn that because the guy was on Tinder, he's there only for a hookup, and so he clearly just wanted to hookup when he suggested at they make dinner at her house for their third or fourth date.

 

But they met on Tinder.

 

So, how does one conclude that he's only there for a hookup, when she's on the same app?

[RedRobin]

In another thread, there was a conclusion drawn that because the guy was on Tinder, he's there only for a hookup, and so he clearly just wanted to hookup when he suggested at they make dinner at her house for their third or fourth date.

 

But they met on Tinder.

 

So, how does one conclude that he's only there for a hookup, when she's on the same app?

 

They didn't meet on Tinder. It was a different site.

 

The exception to him being on Tinder was the inconsistency between claiming to be tired of hookups, but having a profile on a site that is mostly about hooking up.

 

Just because the occasional relationship results, and some people go on 2 or three dates before sex doesn't mean Tinder isn't about hooking up. Having sex with someone you've known for like, 7 days, is not much different than effing someone you've known for 7 minutes, lol.

[dobielover]

They didn't meet on Tinder. It was a different site.

 

The exception to him being on Tinder was the inconsistency between claiming to be tired of hookups, but having a profile on a site that is mostly about hooking up.

 

Just because the occasional relationship results, and some people go on 2 or three dates before sex doesn't mean Tinder isn't about hooking up. Having sex with someone you've known for like, 7 days, is not much different than effing someone you've known for 7 minutes, lol.

 

They may not have met on Tinder (I don't recall her saying she didn't, rather that she'd started a profile there, and a couple weeks later she met this guy, from an app, after having met him a few weeks prior on an app?), but she is also on Tinder. She has said so.

 

It's quite hypocritical.

 

I disagree with your interpretation of Tinder, I know plenty of people who use it for legit relationships. I went to a wedding just yesterday of two people who met on Tinder and used it with intention of finding something serious.

 

You're out of date with it, is all.

 

Also, there's this:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/567270-he-doesn-t-put-much-effort-into-conversation-between-dates-2.html#post6752216

 

Doesn't sound like he's looking for just a hookup.

Edited February 7, 2016 by dobielover

[joseb]

 

I disagree with your interpretation of Tinder, I know plenty of people who use it for legit relationships. I went to a wedding just yesterday of two people who met on Tinder and used it with intention of finding something serious.

 

You're out of date with it, is all.

 

 

Yeah I have to agree. All I see now are profiles filled with "no hook-ups", "not into casual relationships" and the like. I'm not looking for a LTR - spent enough time in ones to last a lifetime - so hoped Tinder would be perfect, but looks like I missed the boat a bit

[Mjm1014]

Wondering if anyone else is having the same issue...maybe I'm approaching things all wrong? Need an opinion or two.

 

Last week I went on bumble, and tinder and scored a bunch of matches and a lot of girls were messaging me..I didn't initiate any of the conversations..a few gave me their numbers right off the bat. Throughout the week (deleted both tinder and bumble since because I couldn't keep up) I've been talking to a three girls that I'm trying to get to know at this point. They text me all the time, yet none of them want to set up any plans for a date. If I ask them out in advance (ask them to do something this week or next) they never give me a straight answer and don't seem interested, yet they still want to talk. I've even talked to them on the phone and they seem interested, but again, don't want to plan anything. I'm not about being on the phone 24/7 and have noticed some of my friends that use the site say the same things as I do! Do you think most people on there are just lonely and looking to talk to someone? If a week or two goes by and they won't commit to a date should I just stop talking to them? I feel like I'm wasting my time kinda...am I the only one with this issue? Hahaha

[Country_Girl]

Guess it depends...

 

Are you planning dates out a few days in advance, or trying to schedule a date last minute (the day of).

 

My biggest frustration with Tinder was, guys would want to meet within a few hours of texting. I prefer to chat a bit and set a date a few days later.

[Otter2569]

Two things: I would come right out and ask them again and or I would pull my time back and focus on those that want to actually meet. Even if it means going back on line to find some fresh stuff.

 

If you are becoming pen pals its time to reel that **** in!

[Zippy2000]

I ve been on and off internet dating for the last 10 years.

 

In my experience there are a lot of time wasters. People who dont want to meet just dont answer back if you try to arrange a date.

 

Id day if people dont meet up within 2-3 weeks of initial contact then they are wasting your time.

 

Your time is valuable and just keep on asking for a date. Those who are into will agree to set a date to see if there is anything there.

 

Other than that ignore the other girls who just want attention for the sake of attention.

[smackie9]

Attention seekers every one of them. It's even possible they have BFs or are even married. Sounds like they need to play around for an ego boost. If they don't accept your offer for a date, stop talking to them. The soul purpose of the site is to get dates, not have chat friends. So put a stop to it by, block/delete.

Edited March 26, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language~T

[SwordofFlame]

Tinder tends to have the most time wasters and flaky people on it. I've had much better luck with okc.

[Miss Peach]

I ve been on and off internet dating for the last 10 years.

 

In my experience there are a lot of time wasters. People who dont want to meet just dont answer back if you try to arrange a date.

 

Id day if people dont meet up within 2-3 weeks of initial contact then they are wasting your time.

 

Your time is valuable and just keep on asking for a date. Those who are into will agree to set a date to see if there is anything there.

 

Other than that ignore the other girls who just want attention for the sake of attention.

 

This has been my experience too. I also live in flaky-ville so that doesn't help matters.

 

What I would do is not be vague. Being vague doesn't help. Ask them out for a specific day in advance; not 'let's get together sometime next week'. Say something like 'Do you want to meet up on Wednesday for a drink?'. Then it's up to them to say yes or provide another date that works.

 

If they don't then assume they are wasting your time.

[Jejangles]

I met my current boyfriend on Tinder, but I also met a lot of time wasters and flakes.

 

I learned it was a numbers game, and a lot of people would fade away or have no intention of meeting. So I cut off guys who just wanted to text endlessly... I had one guy who would pop up every two days to say hi but never give any hint of wanting to meet. I just stopped talking to him. Another guy moved things to text, suggested a vague date for meeting, went missing for a week, popped up again... I let him go too.

 

In comparison, I had one ten minute chat with my current boyfriend during which we set a date to meet for a drink, then we dated in person from there.

 

So I would say talk to lots of people, be open minded, don't get your heart set on any one person until you meet and have had a few dates and give people chances but not too many chances... Oh and remember most people are on more than one site (my boyfriend and I were both on Tinder and Okcupid when we met).

[spriggan2]

I don't buy the attention seeking accusations on Tinder. I had a high percentage for getting dates when I proposed them and so did a friend of mine. This is in the 25 to 30 y/o age bracket.

 

It is important to be smooth though. There are veteran chicks on there who want to set up a date as soon as possible. If you spend too much time talking they'll get bored and move on.

 

There are rookie chicks on there terrified at the prospect of meeting so you have to be patient and let them get comfortable by not even talking about dating, and then make some disguised probes. You'll scare them away of you're too forward.

 

Every girl is different, you have to read them. Ive proposed dates on the first day of matching, I've proposed dates after 3 weeks of daily chat. The few times I've been denied I've felt it had more to do with me not reading the girl well enough, rather than her just being closed off to meeting entirely. So I go back to the drawing board and sharpen my game.

 

I use this line a lot, "no more first date questions so we have something to talk about if we ever go out." It's perfect because it makes your intentions known without pressuring the girl to say yes right away, it puts the idea out there, and based on her response you can get a sense of where her head's at. Ive had success with it. Also it's a good idea to ask a girl how long they've been on tinder. If they're vets then chances are theyre much more open to meeting. If they're new, they'll be apprehensive. Just act like you're new too and say something like, "I don't know what the appropriate time period of chatting should be before we meet, but would you like to go out sometime?" Very non threatening.

 

Also, unless you're super smooth on the phone, do not call before meeting. Let the awkwardness of spontaneous conversation happen on the first date where they can't ghost you without ever having met you face to face. I imagine a phone conversation with a stranger can fail easily if the chick is looking for a spark. It will turn her off to the idea of meeting.

 

Keep in mind this is just tinder, where you're messaging girls who have matched you. Other OLD sites it's been a totally different story for me.

Edited March 26, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language~T