Tinder dating app

[Mo_Do]

This past week my matches have increased dramatically! Funny though, out of the 8 matches only 1 woman replied. She replied with only 3 words, and that was 2 days ago.

 

I really believe more and more people are just clicking "like" on every profile as I said earlier, and then if a match pops up they deal with it as they choose.

 

Why else would I keep getting match after match, and then no reply when I send a message? If they purposely clicked on my profile, they wouldn't ignore me when I contacted them.

 

Trust me, girls aren't clicking like on every guy - the other guys that they matched with are getting to them first.

 

Unlike us, I dont think many girls fancy juggling 6-7 guys at once

[kaylan]

This past week my matches have increased dramatically! Funny though, out of the 8 matches only 1 woman replied. She replied with only 3 words, and that was 2 days ago.

 

I really believe more and more people are just clicking "like" on every profile as I said earlier, and then if a match pops up they deal with it as they choose.

 

Why else would I keep getting match after match, and then no reply when I send a message? If they purposely clicked on my profile, they wouldn't ignore me when I contacted them.

Do beware of the women who use the app for ego validation. I know a girl who broke up with her bf last month and admitted to using the app for an ego boost. While she was a tiny bit open to meeting someone new, she was always looking for reasons to not move things forward with the few guys she responded to.

 

I have to admit I like the ego boost I sometimes get from the women who match with me, but I dont have much time to date right now. And my interest in dating isnt that high at the moment. So yeah, watch out for time wasters.

I assure you with all my heart that there ARE women out there who have gone past the "bad guy syndrome" and they are ready to appreciate a good guy and keep him. What is your age, if I may ask? If you are around 30, I will tell you, hang in there. It will happen. You will find her. And then you will be happy that you never tried to be fake, cause pretending ALL the time is the most exhausting thing to do. I know I sound cliche, but that's my advise.

Used goods is what decent guys have to look forward to? Lolz I dont think guys are very optimistic about having to hang in there in order to date women who are finally ready to settle down with a nice guy after banging bad dudes for years.

Edited March 3, 2014 by kaylan

[Mo_Do]

Do beware of the women who use the app for ego validation. I know a girl who broke up with her bf last month and admitted to using the app for an ego boost. While she was a tiny bit open to meeting someone new, she was always looking for reasons to not move things forward with the few guys she responded to.

 

I have to admit I like the ego boost I sometimes get from the women who match with me, but I dont have much time to date right now. And my interest in dating isnt that high at the moment. So yeah, watch out for time wasters.

Used goods is what decent guys have to look forward to? Lolz I dont think guys are very optimistic about having to hang in there in order to date women who are finally ready to settle down with a nice guy after banging bad dudes for years.

 

 

I must have been on a good run with some "wholesome" women because the last 3 I was chatting with definitely weren't taking it as seriously as others I've met on there.

 

The good ones I chat with, almost exclusively for around a week, and then we meet. Some of the latest ones are just flaky..

 

I actually just deleted the old profile and started over again, now I have a list of matches to try it all again with...lol

 

I'll admit the whole thing is beginning to lose its appeal. The girls come across hot, smart, funny etc on there and then we meet and its a yawn fest. These are really just normal chicks (that know how to pose for pictures) I could trip over and pick up in the real world without all the BS...

 

(except I don't trip over many women in the real world)

Edited March 4, 2014 by Mo_Do

[Iguanna]

Used goods is what decent guys have to look forward to? Lolz I dont think guys are very optimistic about having to hang in there in order to date women who are finally ready to settle down with a nice guy after banging bad dudes for years.

 

What does used good mean? You sound like some really old ladies in villages who believe the woman should be pure until her wedding night. Do you think that you will find women who had never had sex with a man before they met you? I don't get what you mean. Both men and women had had bad experiences from past partners, does this make them used good? In my experience I appreciate way more a decent guy now, after having had bad experiences with jerks. And if a guy would tell me "I have had some bad experiences with bitches before but now that I found you I appreciate you more" I'd feel honored. I don't know why this comes as an insult to men, to be honest.

 

I think there way more women like Iquanna is speaking off than we realize. Heck, almost every woman I have known personally has a history of being hurt, used, and drug through the mud by guys they thought they loved.

 

My saying to the whole situation though is this.....

 

Why do women leave the door to their heart wide open for every jerk, loser, and cheater to step on.....but when I come along, I have to jump through 20 hoops, paying for all their past mistakes??

 

Cause women have the "motherly syndrom" where they want to fix every bad guy they meet, to save him. So they hang in there until they have had enough and then they have learnt their lesson and they test every next guy more than usual. I know this is bad for good guys, but if you are truly good and the woman is worth your effort you have nothing to worry about. She may test you a little bit more than you would expect but in the end she will choose to be with you. Isn't it good enough?

[kaylan]

^The point was this;

 

Why should older gents whove for years been looking for good women...why should these guys accept women who used to not notice them while they were out making mistakes with the bad boys? I dont think guys like Mr Turk should have to settle for such a woman.

 

They deserve a woman who didnt need to make numerous mistakes and get turned out by numerous bad boys before she decided to give those decent guys a try. This has nothing to do with purity...and I definitely dont look for virginal women as they bore me. This is about finding good women who can and have always appreciated a good man. Thats the kind of woman guys like MrTurk deserve.

 

Lord knows I wouldnt want some chick who finally gave up on trying to reform bad guys. The girls who constantly chase those dudes are rarely quality, and usually drama. Thats why men see it as an insult when women try to tell has how these women will one day come around and settle on some nice guy. lol...no thanks,

Edited March 4, 2014 by kaylan

[Iguanna]

But what you don't get is that it's not about making a decision that from now on I'll pass on jerks and choose the good guys... It's about women being young and having no experience with men who lie to get what they want and give empty promises that they will change and they never do, and finally these women realize that these guys will never become better or not abusive or whatever, and they learn from their mistakes it's wrong to try to change someone. They know better from then on than to expect a bad guy to become a good guy, and they realize they have to search for the good guy in the first place. It's not a decision, it's wisdom, it's learning from mistakes. If I had to choose you think I'd choose to spend 11 years with jerks that made me miserable before I found the good guy? Do you think I like to be tortured and hurt? Does this make sense?

[mr_dave]

^The point was this;

 

Why should older gents whove for years been looking for good women...why should these guys accept women who used to not notice them while they were out making mistakes with the bad boys? I dont think guys like Mr Turk should have to settle for such a woman.

 

They deserve a woman who didnt need to make numerous mistakes and get turned out by numerous bad boys before she decided to give those decent guys a try. This has nothing to do with purity...and I definitely dont look for virginal women as they bore me. This is about finding good women who can and have always appreciated a good man. Thats the kind of woman guys like MrTurk deserve.

 

Lord knows I wouldnt want some chick who finally gave up on trying to reform bad guys. The girls who constantly chase those dudes are rarely quality, and usually drama. Thats why men see it as an insult when women try to tell has how these women will one day come around and settle on some nice guy. lol...no thanks,

 

If a woman gives up their best years to a string of jerks, and then decides (when her looks are fading and her biological clock is ticking) to "settle" for a nice guy to have children with, then that guy shouldn't really feel honoured at all.

 

I would rather have a younger woman who has always valued the right qualities in men as opposed to one who decides they might be suitable traits according to her whims at the time. Once you have served your purpose in raising the family, who's to say she won't rediscover her taste in bad boys? Maybe that's why an increasing number of women cheat?

Because they reluctantly settled for nice guys?

[Iguanna]

If a woman gives up their best years to a string of jerks, and then decides (when her looks are fading and her biological clock is ticking) to "settle" for a nice guy to have children with, then that guy shouldn't really feel honoured at all.

 

I would rather have a younger woman who has always valued the right qualities in men as opposed to one who decides they might be suitable traits according to her whims at the time. Once you have served your purpose in raising the family, who's to say she won't rediscover her taste in bad boys? Maybe that's why an increasing number of women cheat?

Because they reluctantly settled for nice guys?

 

Yes there are women who do this, settle for a good guy only to have kids and maybe one day they go back to their first priority, the bad guys. I was not talking about these girls though. I was talking about women who realized bad boys aren't good for them, they deserve better and they start searching for the good guy, without wanting bad guys anymore.

 

"I would rather have a younger woman who has always valued the right qualities in men"

Do you think that young women are experienced enough to know how to separate a good from a bad guy? Don't you know men lie and pretend that they are something else than they are? Do you think that women deliberately want to suffer from men?

[kaylan]

^Thats a little disconcerting.

 

I normally wont message a girl again if she doesnt reply the first time. I usually give it 24 hours, check to make sure theyve logged in a couple times since I sent the message, and then block them (as thats the only way to remove them from my match list and keep my list tidy)

[organizedchaos]

So… Back on topic about Tinder…

 

I just found there may be a glitch with this app. I messaged a woman a few days back, she messaged me back the same day. iMessage her again asking where she was from, no reply for three days. So today, I sent her a message saying "I guess I am not getting an answer from you". As soon as I sent that message to her… Her reply from two days ago popped up on the screen after my message. The timestamp was even there… Mine was around 11 AM this morning… Hers was from two days ago 10 PM at night.

 

Isn't that great!! I have no confidence now in this app! I have no idea if somebody is not replying on purpose… Or maybe they did reply and this stupid app isn't getting the message to me.

 

I haven't seen this occur.

 

But more importantly. WHY would you send a girl a message saying "I guess I am not getting an answer from you."

 

Just what were you expecting to accomplish by sending that guilt trip/emasculating/desperate message???

 

What confident man would ever say such a thing?

[Mo_Do]

So… Back on topic about Tinder…

 

I just found there may be a glitch with this app. I messaged a woman a few days back, she messaged me back the same day. iMessage her again asking where she was from, no reply for three days. So today, I sent her a message saying "I guess I am not getting an answer from you". As soon as I sent that message to her… Her reply from two days ago popped up on the screen after my message. The timestamp was even there… Mine was around 11 AM this morning… Hers was from two days ago 10 PM at night.

 

Isn't that great!! I have no confidence now in this app! I have no idea if somebody is not replying on purpose… Or maybe they did reply and this stupid app isn't getting the message to me.

 

I've had mine glitch out too - the app is pretty much a POS from a reliability standpoint.

 

One girl I went out with asked me to send her a couple short vids I had taken during our date, so I sent them to her via e-mail. I then jumped on TInder and said I sent them, and to let me know if she got them because of how Google sends large files now.

 

Here's the weird part, I heard the jingle from my phone meaning a new Tinder message but there wasn't anything from her...that was last week and the last time I spoke to her

 

The chemistry really wasn't there, so I truly don't mind, but I now feel like a douche as she likely did reply and I didn't.

 

Oh well...

[organizedchaos]

LOL… You people crack me up on here. As if sending that message has anything to do with my confidence level or being a man. I send it because 99.99% of the time women go silent… Using the ignoring phase to send guys a hint they aren't interested. If they're going to play that game… Then I'm going to give them a jab back. She already doesn't want to talk to me… So making a comment back isn't going to change anything. People on here act like it's such a terrible thing to do that… Like I'm ruining any possible chance with her, or that she's going to see me in a negative light. I guess I'm supposed to just allow her to treat me and everyone else like that That's the f'n problem with everybody in the dating world… You all go along with the games and unwritten rules... And nobody does anything about it.

 

Yes, it shows you as whiny and needy and as a beta. You shouldn't care if she responds because you got options. You've totally destroyed your chances with that text.

 

Has this worked for you? Tell me again about your success rate on Tinder.

[Mo_Do]

Thats what you dont get. My chances are gone even if I dont send a text like that.

 

Doesnt matter if I talk nice, talk dirty, treat them with respect, or treat them like trash....no matter what I do or say women are always on the opposite page as me.

 

If I approach them with a relationship mindset, they want a hookup.....If I approach them with a hookup mindset they want a relationship.

 

THATS why so many women never show their hand first.....THATS why women wait for the guy to initiate.....women always want to judge and see what the guy brings to the table first. That way they can always have an escape route ready.

 

Women LOVE to setup "fake" exits. When the date starts, they will mention how they have to "check" on their sister, or they have to do some errand later.....but if the date goes good, they cover it, and say "Oh I'll do it later". But if they date isnt going good....they pull out that loaded card, and blame the excuse as the reason they have to leave early, so they dont have to get their hands dirty telling the guy the truth.

 

LOL I dealt with this on a date awhile ago - I saw the text come in, then the "I gotta take this call".

 

Problem is - the chick was about 5'3" and had a 3' wide ass. (pics all made her look tall and slim, all ancient doctored photos from her early 20's).

 

I wasn't into her, and certainly wasn't staying any longer than it was going to take to finish my one beer, but in that short amount of time she had manged to stir up enough drama and BS that she now had a story to tell all her friends how she "had to" ditch a guy from an online date.

 

I laughed it off, hey, if it made her feel better about herself - good for her.

 

I've dated, been with and had success with far more attractive women than she'll ever be.

[ExposedBrick]

Does anyone ever rapidly swipe right, without actually spending time to look at the profiles, just to see if the app actually works?

 

I actually got a date using this technique but later felt like a bit of a jerk about it.

 

Is there anything wrong with doing this to "test the waters"?

[Mo_Do]

Does anyone ever rapidly swipe right, without actually spending time to look at the profiles, just to see if the app actually works?

 

I actually got a date using this technique but later felt like a bit of a jerk about it.

 

Is there anything wrong with doing this to "test the waters"?

 

No - and when I do accidentally click on one I don't like I get a match 80% of the time.

 

Why fill your match list up with people you're not even interested in?

[mario_C]

EB, I don't understand the point of the experiment. You create a bunch of matches with people you don't like, and next thing you know you're in endless text with someone who's boring or an awful person or whatever. You waste their time and yours.

Just take a breath, scan the profile, and click that heart when you're ready. Advice from a guy who's feeling like a player viewing his Match list

[organizedchaos]

Does anyone ever rapidly swipe right, without actually spending time to look at the profiles, just to see if the app actually works?

 

I actually got a date using this technique but later felt like a bit of a jerk about it.

 

Is there anything wrong with doing this to "test the waters"?

 

I don't. Only swipe on someone I'd want to meet. Get about 5 matches a week like that. But haven used it lately since I'm on the 6th date with someone I met, on tinder.

[organizedchaos]

I barely get 5 new profiles to even look at a week. Maybe 2 matches a month......great to live in good ole NE Ohio.....where nobody wants to embrace technology and they want it to be 1985 forever.

 

Well yeah, that does limit your prospects. I live in a major US city so just limiting my search to 5 miles yields new profiles all day long.

[hasaquestion]

YES People do swipe right repeatedly and flip through 30 profiles in 5 secs.....I have heard people admit it......they do it because it matches them with everyone.....so it automatically makes them a match with anyone that swipes right on them.....when they get a match, THEN they take time to check out the person and see if they like what they see. The thinking for them is....why invest time looking at someones profile and determining which way to swipe if you have no idea they will like you in the first place? If they get a match they dont like....they simply block the person.

 

Is that rude and cold to the person that got the match on the other end, thinking the match was legit? YES it is.....but people nowadays dont care....especially when it comes to online/apps.

 

And I GUARANTEE there are people on this forum that do it.....you just wont see anyone admit it for fear of being ridiculed.

 

When I was using the app actively, I was swiping profiles right unless they were a very obvious no. So like 7 out of every 10 I'd swipe. You get through like 100 in a minute and go on with things. The whole point of it is convenience anyway.

 

Then when you actually get the match you can go through their pictures, figure out which one is her, figure out if the first picture was a good representation, etc.

 

Plus the added bonus is you get some demographical information with a larger sample size of matches. It was nice too see some of my long time suspicions about heritage vs. preference play out over a bit of an informal survey.

[organizedchaos]

And I haven't come across my ex on it yet, but I have seen profiles of some of her friends, and even best friend, pop up. I was tempted to swipe right just to see if they'd do the same and we matched up But I knew better and swiped left.

[SoonMyFriend]

I am still so hesitant to download this app, mainly because I don't want just hookups.

 

I also know people who go on Tinder for the following reasons and it turns me off:

-Friends already in relationships go on it just for the ego boost

-I know of a group of guys who have bets to see who can get the most action

-Single friends who go on just for the ego boost

 

So really, how am I supposed to know someone is genuine? I guess that's even a question in "real life" when I meet someone elsewhere...

 

I am just so CURIOUS to see who's on there, and how I'd fair. I'm not a sorority chick, don't take duck dace photos, don't take bathing suit photos, don't have photos in club clothing, etc, I am just a normal chick looking for a dude! LOL. I feel like I wouldn't fair well since I'd seem less hot compared to the other chicks...

 

I also took down my OKC profile because I got bored of it, and wasn't getting anywhere with it.

 

But I am enjoying the discussion in this thread, and some of the arguments for Tinder are making me lean towards eventually downloading it.

[Marks]

don't have photos in club clothing

 

I come across TONS of girls who have pictures in club clothing, and EDM festival or pool party outfits...it almost seems like the defacto picture to use for girls who use Tinder. Is it to attract all the bro's? Who knows, but I'm certainly not matching with any of them.

 

Granted, I'm in my 20s and live in SoCal, so that may have something to do with it.

[organizedchaos]

I come across TONS of girls who have pictures in club clothing, and EDM festival or pool party outfits...it almost seems like the defacto picture to use for girls who use Tinder. Is it to attract all the bro's? Who knows, but I'm certainly not matching with any of them.

 

Granted, I'm in my 20s and live in SoCal, so that may have something to do with it.

 

Uh, ya think?

[Marks]

How long do you guys message a match on Tinder? And how do you segue into asking for a number/moving to texting/asking to meet? I feel like it's a delicate balance...ask too soon and risk coming off as wanting a hookup...ask too late and they lose interest.

[365daysgone]

How long do you guys message a match on Tinder? And how do you segue into asking for a number/moving to texting/asking to meet? I feel like it's a delicate balance...ask too soon and risk coming off as wanting a hookup...ask too late and they lose interest.

 

I'm becoming quite a pro at this thing. Seriously, don't try too hard. Just be totally witty with them. Last night I literally just sent messages to a bunch of matches saying "__(their name)__ :)"...they responded bak with my name and a smiley face. I have a great sense of humour though so I just play around and don't act very seriously at all and girls respond well to it. I usually get their number by saying "so have I been witty enough to get your number? ;)"

 

The meeting part is hard due to girls being so damn reluctant and afraid of being kidnapped or killed. I talked with one girl for a week and a half but she wouldn't meet because her roommate was apparently stalked by a guy from Tinder. I'm meeting my second girl from Tinder today so we will see how it goes.

 

I also suffer from building myself up as the most amazing person in the world through text but fall so flat in person because I'm pretty awkward. Something I've definitely gotta work on!