Tinder dating app

[SoonMyFriend]

UGH OK... I really want to call this one dude out on his fade. But I know I shouldn't because really, I shouldn't care. I mean, it's not the first nor the last time it's going to happen on Tinder to me, but this one bothers me.

 

It's bothering me because it actually seemed like we'd get along IRL and at least be able to shoot the **** over a pint before deciding what next. Like I mean, exchanging lots of messages back & forth pretty consistently, lots in common, blah blah blah. And he'd usually respond to my messages pretty instantly.

 

Then BANG silence from this dude. My last message was a question, so really the only reason not to respond is to be a dick and avoid saying "yeah I changed my mind". It's just weird because on Sunday we were flirting (well, as much as you can on an app), and then suddenly silence as of Tuesday.

 

I mean, it's possible the app had one of it's signature bugs and either he didn't get my message, or I didn't get his, but I really don't want to go after someone who just isn't interested...

 

I really want to say something, but know it's just setting myself to look like a psycho. Of the dudes I've matched with, it's just honestly this guy was probably the one I was most looking forward to eventually meeting in person. Isn't that always the way?

[organizedchaos]

UGH OK... I really want to call this one dude out on his fade. But I know I shouldn't because really, I shouldn't care. I mean, it's not the first nor the last time it's going to happen on Tinder to me, but this one bothers me.

 

It's bothering me because it actually seemed like we'd get along IRL and at least be able to shoot the **** over a pint before deciding what next. Like I mean, exchanging lots of messages back & forth pretty consistently, lots in common, blah blah blah. And he'd usually respond to my messages pretty instantly.

 

Then BANG silence from this dude. My last message was a question, so really the only reason not to respond is to be a dick and avoid saying "yeah I changed my mind". It's just weird because on Sunday we were flirting (well, as much as you can on an app), and then suddenly silence as of Tuesday.

 

I mean, it's possible the app had one of it's signature bugs and either he didn't get my message, or I didn't get his, but I really don't want to go after someone who just isn't interested...

 

I really want to say something, but know it's just setting myself to look like a psycho. Of the dudes I've matched with, it's just honestly this guy was probably the one I was most looking forward to eventually meeting in person. Isn't that always the way?

 

Give it a few days and then hit him up again with something else.

[SoonMyFriend]

Our favourite hockey teams play each other next week... I was thinking I'd maybe just send a message like "if you're free, and want to take this offline, let's get together to watch the game" or something to that effect. No "been busy" or "haven't heard from you all week" messages that make me sound like a dork.

[hasaquestion]

Our favourite hockey teams play each other next week... I was thinking I'd maybe just send a message like "if you're free, and want to take this offline, let's get together to watch the game" or something to that effect. No "been busy" or "haven't heard from you all week" messages that make me sound like a dork.

 

Sounds good. If he says yes, great. If he turns down a date with a chick who looked good enough to swipe right AND watches hockey? He has no common sense and you'd figure that out sooner or later.

[RonaldS]

Our favourite hockey teams play each other next week... I was thinking I'd maybe just send a message like "if you're free, and want to take this offline, let's get together to watch the game" or something to that effect. No "been busy" or "haven't heard from you all week" messages that make me sound like a dork.

 

Don't message on Tinder beyond a handful of 'getting to know you' messages. Exchange numbers quickly, establish non-Tinder communication quickly, and set up a meeting quickly.

 

This isn't OKC where you need to have some stupid online relationship for a month before somebody asks the other person out. People don't want pen pals anymore, especially on Tinder. Get his number, and get communication with him happening off Tinder. If this guy is out, you know what to do with the next guy.

[hasaquestion]

Don't message on Tinder beyond a handful of 'getting to know you' messages. Exchange numbers quickly, establish non-Tinder communication quickly, and set up a meeting quickly.

 

This isn't OKC where you need to have some stupid online relationship for a month before somebody asks the other person out. People don't want pen pals anymore, especially on Tinder. Get his number, and get communication with him happening off Tinder. If this guy is out, you know what to do with the next guy.

 

^THIS^

 

Less communication that isn't face to face is more, especially early on.

[BradJacobs]

^THIS^

 

Less communication that isn't face to face is more, especially early on.

 

Yep. Drop the digits early. Meet.

 

People are tired of wasting time.

[SoonMyFriend]

I feel exactly the same way, and it's why I prefer Tinder to OKC/POF, etc

 

I hate that long drawn out process of a million messages AND THEN meeting. I want some short & sweet conversations and then go out.

 

With others I've been messaging it's either quick fade outs, or we go to another form like BBM or text.

 

I have only been on a couple of weeks, so these are still new matches, but yeah, I have no intention of finding a pen pal.

[RonaldS]

I feel exactly the same way, and it's why I prefer Tinder to OKC/POF, etc

 

I hate that long drawn out process of a million messages AND THEN meeting. I want some short & sweet conversations and then go out.

 

With others I've been messaging it's either quick fade outs, or we go to another form like BBM or text.

 

I have only been on a couple of weeks, so these are still new matches, but yeah, I have no intention of finding a pen pal.

 

People just feel less creepy and desperate texting vs chatting on Tinder. Plus, with texting you can send each other pics/videos etc. so, even if you can't meet up right away, you can engage each other.

[jay1983]

IT'S AN EGO BOOST GIRLS DO FOR FUN!!!!!

 

Had like 15 chicks rate me hot, and then flake.

 

Please down vote all the good and average looking women. Hell, just down vote all of them!

[SoonMyFriend]

IT'S AN EGO BOOST GIRLS DO FOR FUN!!!!!

 

Had like 15 chicks rate me hot, and then flake.

 

Please down vote all the good and average looking women. Hell, just down vote all of them!

 

 

 

It's not just girls who do it for the ego boost. I've had 56 matches, and am only chatting with 3 of them. And the five or six who messaged me before that have all flaked.

 

 

Stop arguing it's just girls on it for the ego boost. It goes both ways. (And I mean this in general, not just directly at you jay1983).

[SoonMyFriend]

Sounds good. If he says yes, great. If he turns down a date with a chick who looked good enough to swipe right AND watches hockey? He has no common sense and you'd figure that out sooner or later.

 

No response, so yup no common sense.

 

Would love to know what sent him in the other direction but oh well, on to the next one. Not worth my time.

[BradJacobs]

No response, so yup no common sense.

 

Would love to know what sent him in the other direction but oh well, on to the next one. Not worth my time.

Too much talking and not enough meeting? I have some matches that I went cold on because of this.

 

I'm not on Tinder for pen pals. When I match with someone it's either to hook up or to plan a date. Either way it's done quickly to keep the momentum going.

[SoonMyFriend]

Too much talking and not enough meeting? I have some matches that I went cold on because of this.

 

I'm not on Tinder for pen pals. When I match with someone it's either to hook up or to plan a date. Either way it's done quickly to keep the momentum going.

 

 

 

Gotta be what it was because otherwise things seemed fine, there were no lulls with our messages. He works shift work, so his schedule was all over the place, which is why I was a bit more patient with setting up a date. I knew he'd have the more difficult schedule to work around.

 

 

So I was hoping he'd take the lead and ask me out when he knew he'd be free... but never did. I guess in hindsight I should have been more aggressive with setting up a date.

 

Lesson learned.

[RonaldS]

It's not just girls who do it for the ego boost. I've had 56 matches, and am only chatting with 3 of them. And the five or six who messaged me before that have all flaked.

 

 

Stop arguing it's just girls on it for the ego boost. It goes both ways. (And I mean this in general, not just directly at you jay1983).

 

This is a good point.

 

I'm at 586 matches, and the only time I ever talk to a woman is if she messages me first and is really cute. And even then, I rarely do. However, even though there's a ego boost factor there, to me, it's more of a savings account approach.

 

Just because you have money doesn't mean you have to spend money.

[BradJacobs]

I found an article (goarticles.com) on most popular dating apps. Author talks about the top 10. (Sorry won't copy the actual link for the reason not to appear "spammy" but if you google top 10 dating apps goarticles.com you will find 'em).

 

Here's full list:

 

1. Tinder - iOs and Android.

2. Let's Date - iOs

3. Zoosk - iOs and Android

4. Badoo - iOs and Android

5. POF - iOs and Android

6. Meet Moi - iOs and Android

7. Skout iOs and Android

8. Grindr - iOs, Android, and BlackBerry

9. OkCupid - iOs and Android

10. How About We - iOs and Android

 

Never actually tried any of them as I thought it's just a waste of time, however I decided to check 'em out soon. I see people love Tinder, how about others from the list?

 

 

Thanks

Mike

Anything that works like OKC I'm not interested in. Lengthy profiles and millions of questions are just a stupid way to waste your time and NOT meet people which is the opposite of why you're on there. Keep it simple, keep it moving.

 

I don't know most of the ones on your list but the ones I wouldn't do are OKC (of course) and POF. It just seems ridiculous and they are probably sitting on old inventory.

 

Tinder is relatively new. They don't have decades of fake profiles to manage.

[SoonMyFriend]

This is a good point.

 

I'm at 586 matches, and the only time I ever talk to a woman is if she messages me first and is really cute. And even then, I rarely do. However, even though there's a ego boost factor there, to me, it's more of a savings account approach.

 

Just because you have money doesn't mean you have to spend money.

 

And what's interesting about that is I rarely initiate messages. I always assume if a guy doesn't message me after we match he isn't that interested or did the "mass swipe right, then figure if I like her later".

 

I've initiated a few conversation and almost of the guys have flaked out after a couple of messages.

 

Here's my true breakdown...

 

Total matches: 56

Number of active convos (messaged within the last 48 hours): 5 (two are now onto BBM/text)

Number of active convos I initiated: 1

Number of dead convos: 10 (one guy I admit, I ignored because I accidentally swiped right when I was drunk)

Number of dead convos I initiated: 2

 

 

Hmm... thought I messaged more guys first.... and my matches are pretty low because I am really picky on this app.

 

Do you guys think as a girl I should be more aggressive?

[drew232]

Done a quick search and found a topic on BBC "Tinder accounts spammed by bots masquerading as singles". Oh noes... Is it possible to meet someone GENUINE online? I don't know...

 

This isn't really an an issue. I've been on for 3 days and i've only encountered 2 bots and I've only wasted maybe a total of 30 seconds on them..just move on, it's pretty obvious when a real person is on the other side..and there's a lot of real people on there.

[mario_C]

Only bot I met was a Mindy Kaling bot, promoting her show. Too bad, we'd totally hook up.

 

Also, be careful with the swiping. I was trying to check my messages and I accidentally liked one (single mom - no!). We have a match now. Awkward!

[organizedchaos]

Don't message on Tinder beyond a handful of 'getting to know you' messages. Exchange numbers quickly, establish non-Tinder communication quickly, and set up a meeting quickly.

 

This isn't OKC where you need to have some stupid online relationship for a month before somebody asks the other person out. People don't want pen pals anymore, especially on Tinder. Get his number, and get communication with him happening off Tinder. If this guy is out, you know what to do with the next guy.

 

Yep. Tinder is designed like text messaging. Only on your phone so you're not supposed to type out long emails. That's the beauty of it. Short and to the point. Do you both find each other attractive? Yeah? Chat, and meet up.

 

Just had 3 tinder dates this week alone and last night's looks promising for more.

[RonaldS]

Done a quick search and found a topic on BBC "Tinder accounts spammed by bots masquerading as singles". Oh noes... Is it possible to meet someone GENUINE online? I don't know...

 

Everybody I've talked to and met has been real. There are some bots on there, but I think they're easy to spot. I also think Tinder has done something to clean those up, because a lot of the bots and hookers/cam girls from when I first started seem to be gone.

[RonaldS]

And what's interesting about that is I rarely initiate messages. I always assume if a guy doesn't message me after we match he isn't that interested or did the "mass swipe right, then figure if I like her later".

 

I've initiated a few conversation and almost of the guys have flaked out after a couple of messages.

 

Here's my true breakdown...

 

Total matches: 56

Number of active convos (messaged within the last 48 hours): 5 (two are now onto BBM/text)

Number of active convos I initiated: 1

Number of dead convos: 10 (one guy I admit, I ignored because I accidentally swiped right when I was drunk)

Number of dead convos I initiated: 2

 

 

Hmm... thought I messaged more guys first.... and my matches are pretty low because I am really picky on this app.

 

Do you guys think as a girl I should be more aggressive?

I'm actually pretty selective on who I swipe as well....I just live in a huge city with tons of younger professionals just out of college as well as people my age. My radius is set to 50 miles, so I pick up the suburbs too.

 

I swipe right based essentially on one simple criteria: would I sleep with this person while sober? Yes? Swipe right. I know it's carnal and superficial, but you have to draw a line somehwhere, haha.

 

My issue with it is that it's just too easy. There is ZERO challenge in meeting up with people. Somebody has to really set themselves apart for me to want to have a conversation. The only person I'm talking to from there right now is a girl who wrote in her tagline that she is old-fashioned and expected the man to make the first move. Then she messaged me and said I was making her break who own rules, which I appreciated. And she's super-duper cute. And out styles and senses of humor work together.

 

But there will be some cute little thing who will message me with 'Hey there ' .....that gets no response from me.

[SoonMyFriend]

I'm actually pretty selective on who I swipe as well....I just live in a huge city with tons of younger professionals just out of college as well as people my age. My radius is set to 50 miles, so I pick up the suburbs too.

 

I swipe right based essentially on one simple criteria: would I sleep with this person while sober? Yes? Swipe right. I know it's carnal and superficial, but you have to draw a line somehwhere, haha.

 

My issue with it is that it's just too easy. There is ZERO challenge in meeting up with people. Somebody has to really set themselves apart for me to want to have a conversation. The only person I'm talking to from there right now is a girl who wrote in her tagline that she is old-fashioned and expected the man to make the first move. Then she messaged me and said I was making her break who own rules, which I appreciated. And she's super-duper cute. And out styles and senses of humor work together.

 

But there will be some cute little thing who will message me with 'Hey there ' .....that gets no response from me.

 

I'm in a big city too, so there's plenty of options.

 

My criteria is basically the same as yours. Haha. Do I find this guy attractive enough to take it any further? It's really icing on the cake if we have any common interests or friends.

[drew232]

I'm pretty sure this has already been said..but I've found that girls are MUCH more likely to talk to you on Tinder vs. other dating sites. I've only been on for a week but they've been playful, they ask questions, they seem interested..on OKC they just don't want to talk.

 

This actually happened;

 

"Haha I usually don't give out my number that fast lol"

 

I go cold and stop talking...

 

Three days later; "555-555-555 :)"

 

I'm never going back to OKC

[organizedchaos]

I'm pretty sure this has already been said..but I've found that girls are MUCH more likely to talk to you on Tinder vs. other dating sites. I've only been on for a week but they've been playful, they ask questions, they seem interested..on OKC they just don't want to talk.

 

This actually happened;

 

"Haha I usually don't give out my number that fast lol"

 

I go cold and stop talking...

 

Three days later; "555-555-555 :)"

 

I'm never going back to OKC

 

IMO, I think it's because tinder doesn't have the "stigma" of being like traditional online dating. It's designed like a chat app with photos. So people let their guard down a bit more. And with the connection to Facebook you may have friends in common