Tinder dating app

[drew232]

IMO, I think it's because tinder doesn't have the "stigma" of being like traditional online dating. It's designed like a chat app with photos. So people let their guard down a bit more. And with the connection to Facebook you may have friends in common

 

and it makes the girls do some work..instead of just sitting back and getting 100 messages a day they have to go out and like people. It balances the playing field a bit.

[SoonMyFriend]

How do you guys view second chances on this thing?

 

By that I mean - someone goes cold, then comes back a week or two or three later? Do you give them another shot because WTH or just ignore?

[drew232]

How do you guys view second chances on this thing?

 

By that I mean - someone goes cold, then comes back a week or two or three later? Do you give them another shot because WTH or just ignore?

 

It depends on several factors, are they cute? are they willing to talk and ask questions? how boring are they?

[jay1983]

It's not just girls who do it for the ego boost. I've had 56 matches, and am only chatting with 3 of them. And the five or six who messaged me before that have all flaked.

 

 

Stop arguing it's just girls on it for the ego boost. It goes both ways. (And I mean this in general, not just directly at you jay1983).

 

I'm skeptical of your honesty, 56 matches, that means your not bad lookiing and only 3 didn't flake. 53 guys, some horny, some really trying to meet somebody, some having fun until they find someone interested, then become one of the first two I mentioned, flaked on you?

[SoonMyFriend]

I'm skeptical of your honesty, 56 matches, that means your not bad lookiing and only 3 didn't flake. 53 guys, some horny, some really trying to meet somebody, some having fun until they find someone interested, then become one of the first two I mentioned, flaked on you?

 

 

 

If you go upthread I posted my full slate of matches/convos/dead convos. Go take a look and let me know if you're still skeptical.

 

Side note - had a Tinder date yesterday afternoon. Dude didn't look much like his photos, but he was hilarious and it was one of the funniest dates I've had in awhile. Good to finally meet someone off of Tinder in person.

[Marks]

This is a good point.

 

I'm at 586 matches, and the only time I ever talk to a woman is if she messages me first and is really cute. And even then, I rarely do. However, even though there's a ego boost factor there, to me, it's more of a savings account approach.

 

Just because you have money doesn't mean you have to spend money.

 

Yep. Tinder is designed like text messaging. Only on your phone so you're not supposed to type out long emails. That's the beauty of it. Short and to the point. Do you both find each other attractive? Yeah? Chat, and meet up.

 

Just had 3 tinder dates this week alone and last night's looks promising for more.

 

I'm actually pretty selective on who I swipe as well....I just live in a huge city with tons of younger professionals just out of college as well as people my age. My radius is set to 50 miles, so I pick up the suburbs too.

 

I swipe right based essentially on one simple criteria: would I sleep with this person while sober? Yes? Swipe right. I know it's carnal and superficial, but you have to draw a line somehwhere, haha.

 

My issue with it is that it's just too easy. There is ZERO challenge in meeting up with people. Somebody has to really set themselves apart for me to want to have a conversation. The only person I'm talking to from there right now is a girl who wrote in her tagline that she is old-fashioned and expected the man to make the first move. Then she messaged me and said I was making her break who own rules, which I appreciated. And she's super-duper cute. And out styles and senses of humor work together.

 

But there will be some cute little thing who will message me with 'Hey there ' .....that gets no response from me.

 

Wow, you guys must be some pretty good looking fellas or otherwise very lucky...so far in a little over three months of using the app I've only gotten some twenty odd matches (and that's after swiping right on most profiles)...and out of those I've had maybe ten conversations through the app. Out of those conversations, I've had to initiate messaging with almost all of them, and with most of them I've gotten the fade out after only a few back and forth messages.

 

So far I've only met with one girl through Tinder, and this was after two flake-outs on her part. Sad part is, she didn't look anything like the way she did in her pictures...I thought she had a pretty average figure with a pretty cute face, but turns out she's waaaayy more over-weight in person than she leads on to believe. She must be using old profile pics.

 

It's nice that you guys can be so choosy...I'm unfortunately going nowhere with this thing. In fact, I'm actually getting more luck with OkCupid...so far I've met several women through OkC, with two just this week.

[WP4046]

A cell phone dating site?

 

Is this what we have arrived at now? I prefer the computer where i can type and see someone a lot better on the screen rather than a phone. So this is a causal dating site for people with cell phones huh?

 

 

I only found out about it because I saw a story of someone getting robbed using the site.

[Thomas the Red Fox]

I hear it's used for hookups. I met a gf through it though, and we didn't sleep together for over a month, so who knows.

[organizedchaos]

Yes, there's a massive thread on this.

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/428960-tinder-date-app-consolidated-discussion

 

 

Hookups, dating, relationships. All can be found there jut like any other site. Just like you can get robbed walking down the street.

[WP4046]

I hear it's used for hookups. I met a gf through it though, and we didn't sleep together for over a month, so who knows.

 

well since i only have a blackberry I guess I can join lol

[WP4046]

Yes, there's a massive thread on this.

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/428960-tinder-date-app-consolidated-discussion

 

 

Hookups, dating, relationships. All can be found there jut like any other site. Just like you can get robbed walking down the street.

 

Sounds like something for people under 25

[organizedchaos]

Sounds like something for people under 25

Wrong again

[bluegreen]

This is just plain SAD what have we came to see and live with

[RonaldS]

Everyone on Tinder is robbed............................of their dignity.

 

Interesting perspective. Let's compare.

 

So, you can go on OKC, fill out some huge profile, answer a bunch of idiotic questions, try to make yourself look cool, nice, attractive, dateable, effable, interesting, etc...and really just end up making yourself look like a chump...and then clown yourself day in and day out leaving well-scripted, clever, engaging, thought-provoking messages that...let's face it...probably don't even get read, but if you keep digging through that haystack, you're bound to find the needle. Maybe. Then, after you do, you spend weeks messaging somebody and then eventually meet, only to find yourself sitting there with little to talk about because you've already talked about everything during your monthlong messaging courtship, not to mention he or she will inevitably end up being about 1/8th as attractive as you thought they were.

 

Or....

 

You put up 5 pics on Tinder, 'like' some people, have some people 'like' you, and then have a quick messaging conversation and then meet up, and then learn about each other (kinda like when you meet somebody IRL). Your total investment in the process leading up to meeting? Minutes. OLD? Weeks.

 

There is infinitely less dignity robbing on Tinder than other OLD. And here's the kicker if you're a guy....the women are WAAAAY more attractive.

[BradJacobs]

There is infinitely less dignity robbing on Tinder than other OLD. And here's the kicker if you're a guy....the women are WAAAAY more attractive.

I agree with this completely.

 

I'm certain the pretty girls are still getting creepy messages but at least they're getting them from the guys that they thought were attractive as opposed to the morbidly obese guys spamming their inbox.

 

I've met a few who said they didn't use OLD because of it but love Tinder for that reason.

[PegNosePete]

Interesting perspective. Let's compare.

Let's compare even more!

 

So you get dressed up, put on a nice suit and some aftershave, go hang out in a classy wine bar.

Stroll up to some chick and hit on her, ask for her number, she tells you "no".

How is that any less shallow?

You chose her because you found her physically attractive/interesting.

She rejected you based on whether she found you attractive/interesting.

 

-> Online dating is actually more about personality and LESS about looks, because as well as putting up pics, you actually write about yourself and find out about the other person BEFORE hitting on them randomly!

 

Tinder yeah it kind of removes those traditional online dating options, but how is it any worse than going up to someone at a bar?

[RonaldS]

Let's compare even more!

 

So you get dressed up, put on a nice suit and some aftershave, go hang out in a classy wine bar.

Stroll up to some chick and hit on her, ask for her number, she tells you "no".

How is that any less shallow?

You chose her because you found her physically attractive/interesting.

She rejected you based on whether she found you attractive/interesting.

 

-> Online dating is actually more about personality and LESS about looks, because as well as putting up pics, you actually write about yourself and find out about the other person BEFORE hitting on them randomly!

 

Tinder yeah it kind of removes those traditional online dating options, but how is it any worse than going up to someone at a bar?

 

Agree with a lot of this, but would add that it's not even as bad as getting gussied up and approaching women at a bar.

 

When a person does that, they have the specific intent of meeting and hopefully picking somebody up. With Tinder, you can effectively have the same approach, but do so while getting groceries, eating donuts in your underwear, hanging out at the beach, watching a game with your friends, picking your nose, whatever.

 

I think Tinder is a lot more like going to a big party with your friends. You're not actively trying to pick somebody up...you're there to have a good time with your friends. But you're passively available, and at some point in the night, you'll probably start talking to somebody.

 

To me, traditional OLD implies a specific agenda/intent. Tinder is more like, 'Hey, I'm busy doing other stuff, but I'm sort of available, so hit me up', which is implicit by the fact that it's a mobile app and not an internet website.

[hasaquestion]

Online dating is such a pointless mess compared to Tinder. Profiles, questions, whether you like cats or dogs, messages......

 

Tinder works. Just a few pictures. Gets to the point.

[ktya]

Interesting perspective. Let's compare.

 

So, you can go on OKC, fill out some huge profile, answer a bunch of idiotic questions, try to make yourself look cool, nice, attractive, dateable, effable, interesting, etc...and really just end up making yourself look like a chump...and then clown yourself day in and day out leaving well-scripted, clever, engaging, thought-provoking messages that...let's face it...probably don't even get read, but if you keep digging through that haystack, you're bound to find the needle. Maybe. Then, after you do, you spend weeks messaging somebody and then eventually meet, only to find yourself sitting there with little to talk about because you've already talked about everything during your monthlong messaging courtship, not to mention he or she will inevitably end up being about 1/8th as attractive as you thought they were.

 

...

 

There is infinitely less dignity robbing on Tinder than other OLD. And here's the kicker if you're a guy....the women are WAAAAY more attractive.

 

I've tried POF and had some great success on there. OKC appears to me to have the chicks from POF who didn't make the cut, there are some good looking women on there but not nearly as good as POF. Good times on the dates off POF I'm still dating two of the four I met on there.

 

The only date I got off of OKC was this overweight girl who only showed face shots. She responded to my profile that was clearly stated I was only looking to keep it casual because I'd been in 17 years of back to back serious relationships. She kept babbling about how HOT I was so after the first date I brought her back to my place. Before, during, and after she kept going on about how she wants monogamy and wants to be my girlfriend and not even entertain the idea of a sleepover or sex until committment. Ugh

 

I've heard that eHarmony is even more filled with POF rejects - women who are not attractive enough to score anything other than guys looking for an easy lay. They put faith in, like OKC, that this amazing list of stupid questions is going to get some attractive A-type guy to fall for them despite their lack of good looks. I'm not even going to bother on that one.

 

I've just started trying out Tinder. RonaldS is bang on, the girls on there are even hotter than the pickings on POF, and with the messaging restriction where the only people who can message them are guys they think are cute means they will probably actually read the messages. I havent gotten any results yet but its been less than 24 hours. I like how it shows mutual facebook friends too, I could imagine a mutual like where you had 6 mutual friends could lead to a hot date in no time.

 

Again RonaldS is bang on on OLD vs. something like Tinder. Its kind of soul destroying, you have to practically put in a shift every few days. As a guy you send sometimes 20 messages without a single response or even a view to your profile. You want to sit there and write something nice and fun and witty making comment on their profile but after the 250th message with only 5 responses and only 2 dates it gets pretty lame.

 

I can understand the female's perspective too though. Getting 100 messages a day where most of them are either short and dumb (Hi I like your profile) or insane (Oh you are my princess you are so beautiful I would love to make you my wife) so it ends up just becoming like Tinder for them they wont bother to even read the message unless they like the picture and periodically just wipe out their entire inbox because its getting too cluttered, for them its like finding a needle in a haystack - in their own inbox!

 

Making matters even more confusing is that women never seem to understand what they really want. They say they love to travel in their profile but have no money to travel. They say they want a good honest man but are attracted to the bad boy with the tatties and the Choppers T-shirt and bling. They say they want a first date to be dinner and then when a guy asks they cop out and try to do coffee instead. They say they want a relationship leading to marriage and end up multi-dating 25 guys perpetually.

 

Us guys are simple. We want a hot girl who puts out. If we get along with them maybe we'll take it further. LOL

 

I'm looking forward to seeing how Tinder works. I like the mechanics of it so far.

[William]

As a program note, moderation will generally merge everything about Tinder into this consolidated thread *unless* the app/website is incidental to one's specific dating/IR experience and the thread is predominantly about that experience, not the app/site. The reason is two-fold; one, name recognition based on LS's rankings in internet searches and, two, more incidences of name use lend more targets for Tinder-related spam content.

 

Generally, any threads merged will exhibit a re-direct in their original location for one day. Thanks for reading!

[ktya]

You would never achieve that kind of brutal efficiency in your own or using other OLD.

 

Hahaha. I just started on it yesterday. Lets hope for that kind of brutal efficiency. Sounds awesome

[atlg8r]

Its the "dating" app for smart phones. Do you like it? Is it better than OK Cupid and other sites? Its an interesting app for sure.

 

My overall opinion is that it's for hooking up. However, I am marrying a man I met through Tinder in the next few weeks. Ha! Go figure.

[Marks]

A question for the guys who are finding success with Tinder:

 

How do you convert matches to meets? What do you guys say in your messages to the girls you match with? Do you have any examples of message threads that successfully led to meeting up and more?

 

So far I've had a lot of trouble getting girls I match with to be receptive to my messages. Most just fizzle out after 2-3 messages back and forth, and I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. Just this past week I've matched up with another three girls, and all three seem to have fizzled after just messaging once or a few times.

[Stay]

A question for the guys who are finding success with Tinder:

 

How do you convert matches to meets? What do you guys say in your messages to the girls you match with? Do you have any examples of message threads that successfully led to meeting up and more?

 

So far I've had a lot of trouble getting girls I match with to be receptive to my messages. Most just fizzle out after 2-3 messages back and forth, and I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. Just this past week I've matched up with another three girls, and all three seem to have fizzled after just messaging once or a few times.

 

You gotta remember you're competing with hundreds if not thousands of guys possibly in a bigger city. Girls have a lot of matches and if you don't stand out one bit you're not going to keep their attention. This is with any OLD. Also there are a lot of them out there who are just on here for validation and ego boost. It's rare to get a girl who is responsive with your messages but when you do you'll know and if you can't keep the conversations going then, maybe it's an issue with you. Make it fun instead of a interview.

[Marks]

You gotta remember you're competing with hundreds if not thousands of guys possibly in a bigger city. Girls have a lot of matches and if you don't stand out one bit you're not going to keep their attention. This is with any OLD. Also there are a lot of them out there who are just on here for validation and ego boost. It's rare to get a girl who is responsive with your messages but when you do you'll know and if you can't keep the conversations going then, maybe it's an issue with you. Make it fun instead of a interview.

 

Yeah, I get that...but that's why I'm asking. What are some examples of making it "fun"? I don't really think I'm good at flirting, so I'm not always sure what would go over well.

 

I did have a pretty good run with a very hot girl a few weeks back, but somehow I failed to get a number out of it.