Tinder dating app

[Stay]

Yeah, I get that...but that's why I'm asking. What are some examples of making it "fun"? I don't really think I'm good at flirting, so I'm not always sure what would go over well.

 

I did have a pretty good run with a very hot girl a few weeks back, but somehow I failed to get a number out of it.

 

Before I give you an example of "fun" tell me what do you consider fun, what's a usual fun conversation for you, line by line... Post it. Like I said about ego boost, I've matched with a few gorgeous girls that I probably would be hesitant to approach in real life, they end up not talking or are really just boring. Some are there just for the hook up, etc. It really depends what you're there for, a lot of girls will say they're not there for a hook up but in reality they are.

 

This whole online thing is so jaded that I don't even know if matches are genuine anymore. I'm sure there are some sort of attraction or else the girl wouldn't swipe, either that or accidents. As much as it's easy for people to hook up on this, it's mostly the hot model looking ones with great facial structure that are getting the easy hook ups since this is a very superficial app. In the end tinder is a big app about looks. As long as you're average looking you should be able to find some decent girls, anything below I wouldn't bet on it too much. If you're above average it's almost like easy mode. Trust me there are some great looking men out there that all they have to do is say some dumb line that is corny or perverted and ask for a number and the girl will give it. So YMMV depending on your face.

[rubberman]

A question for the guys who are finding success with Tinder:

 

How do you convert matches to meets? What do you guys say in your messages to the girls you match with? Do you have any examples of message threads that successfully led to meeting up and more?

 

So far I've had a lot of trouble getting girls I match with to be receptive to my messages. Most just fizzle out after 2-3 messages back and forth, and I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. Just this past week I've matched up with another three girls, and all three seem to have fizzled after just messaging once or a few times.

 

I've been on 6 tinder dates, and slept with 5 of them. I try to move from tinder to Sms quite quickly. 3-4 messages on tinder then get them to give me their number or they take mine.

[RonaldS]

Yeah, I get that...but that's why I'm asking. What are some examples of making it "fun"? I don't really think I'm good at flirting, so I'm not always sure what would go over well.

 

I did have a pretty good run with a very hot girl a few weeks back, but somehow I failed to get a number out of it.

 

You can't message forever on Tinder. Just a handful to establish rapport, and then get a number.

 

One thing for me is that by and large, I just don't message women. I'll wait until they message me first. Then, if they're cool, I will quickly give them my #, which puts the onus on them to establish contact off Tinder. Then, once you start texting, set up a meeting quickly.

 

A lot of girls won't initiate with a guy IRL, but don't seem to have an issue doing it on Tinder. I get a lot of women initiating with me there.

[atlg8r]

I've been on 6 tinder dates, and slept with 5 of them. I try to move from tinder to Sms quite quickly. 3-4 messages on tinder then get them to give me their number or they take mine.

 

I refused to give my number to guys if they didn't put some effort in to talk to me first. Clear sign they're just looking for sex. They make Craigslist for that.

 

To Mark: I had a very high BS meter on Tinder for the few weeks I used it because I knew most guys were just trying to hook up for sex. If you're just focused on meeting a girl and hooking up, that's probably why they are fizzling out. I looked for a guy who asked genuine questions about me to see if he really was interested in getting to know me. Guys who just want a quick fling won't take that kind of time. If you're just focused on the end game, the girls (the ones not just looking for a fling anyway) will probably sense that, and once they see you're just trying to get a number and meet up, will probably stop responding.

[Marks]

Before I give you an example of "fun" tell me what do you consider fun, what's a usual fun conversation for you, line by line... Post it.

 

Ok, sure...here's an example of the hot Latina girl I was messaging with a while back...it seemed like a fun back and forth which lasted over a day:

 

She made some mention of being the "nice" twin in her little description, so I ran with that.

 

Me: Hi So what makes you the nice twin?

Her: Hahaha trust me...I am the nice one!

Me: Hmmm...how do I know you're telling the truth? She might be saying the same thing about herself...

Her: Hahaha she's actually proud of being the evil one...She embraces it lol

Me: Maybe she's actually the nice one and you're just saying that to lure me in

Her: Hahahaha you caught on pretty early! I'm busted lol

Me: I knew it! Haha. You're a tricky lady..I'll have to keep my eye on you

Her: Haha, you can try...But I'm too quick lol

Me: Oh, so you're a professional?

Her: I've been trained very well!

Me: Well, I think you underestimate my abilities...

Her: Oh really??? I'm a little intrigued.

Me: Yeah...I'm pretty sure I'd give you a run for your money

Her: Hahaha suuuree you would

Me: Oh, don't believe me?

Her: Hmmm no

Me: Hmmm...you seem awfully sure of yourself...I'm not sure I believe you either.

Her: It's ok...You'll believe the nice one but since I'm the evil one you can't

Me: Ah, I see...so you admit that I'll have to keep an eye on you...

Her: Hahaha I'll admit that you can try

...

 

And it just kept going from there. I was trying to work it so that I'd smoothly be able to ask for her number, but I didn't feel like I ever reached the point where I'd naturally be able to ask her for it. So nothing ever came of it.

 

I've been on 6 tinder dates, and slept with 5 of them. I try to move from tinder to Sms quite quickly. 3-4 messages on tinder then get them to give me their number or they take mine.

 

Ok great, but what do you say when you message them? What do you say to get them to give you their number? Any examples? A number of people have said, "well, I just message them a few times and quickly get their numbers... ", but that's very vague and not at all helpful to someone who has yet to figure out what they need to say in their messages to quickly transition from initial match to getting a girl's number.

 

You can't message forever on Tinder. Just a handful to establish rapport, and then get a number.

 

One thing for me is that by and large, I just don't message women. I'll wait until they message me first. Then, if they're cool, I will quickly give them my #, which puts the onus on them to establish contact off Tinder. Then, once you start texting, set up a meeting quickly.

 

A lot of girls won't initiate with a guy IRL, but don't seem to have an issue doing it on Tinder. I get a lot of women initiating with me there.

 

I feel like you're the exception though...for the most part, girls don't initiate conversations on the app with me unless they're a bot, lol. But anyway, are you suggesting that I should just offer my number first and see if they take me up on it?

 

I refused to give my number to guys if they didn't put some effort in to talk to me first. Clear sign they're just looking for sex. They make Craigslist for that.

 

To Mark: I had a very high BS meter on Tinder for the few weeks I used it because I knew most guys were just trying to hook up for sex. If you're just focused on meeting a girl and hooking up, that's probably why they are fizzling out. I looked for a guy who asked genuine questions about me to see if he really was interested in getting to know me. Guys who just want a quick fling won't take that kind of time. If you're just focused on the end game, the girls (the ones not just looking for a fling anyway) will probably sense that, and once they see you're just trying to get a number and meet up, will probably stop responding.

 

What constitutes a genuine question? Like what they do for a living or what they like to do for fun? Or is that too boring? I'm not focused on getting a hookup, I'm just trying to meet people. I mean, I want to get to know people, but trying to get to know people through the app is rather tedious, and I'd much rather just meet the girl in person and get to know her face-to-face. How else are you supposed to actually get to know someone and know whether you're actually a match without meeting them in person? What you're suggesting is that girls want to have long, drawn out text conversations before giving out their number and potentially wanting to meet...but so far my experience hasn't supported that theory.

 

Besides I don't think most of the app conversations I have get far enough along for the girl to make a determination as to what I'm looking for...for whatever reason they fizzle out far earlier, and I'm trying to figure out why. I figure that either I'm boring them or they just don't find me attractive enough. I'm tired of just messaging on the app...I just want to get out and meet people!

[atlg8r]

What constitutes a genuine question? Like what they do for a living or what they like to do for fun? Or is that too boring? I'm not focused on getting a hookup, I'm just trying to meet people. I mean, I want to get to know people, but trying to get to know people through the app is rather tedious, and I'd much rather just meet the girl in person and get to know her face-to-face. How else are you supposed to actually get to know someone and know whether you're actually a match without meeting them in person? What you're suggesting is that girls want to have long, drawn out text conversations before giving out their number and potentially wanting to meet...but so far my experience hasn't supported that theory.

 

Besides I don't think most of the app conversations I have get far enough along for the girl to make a determination as to what I'm looking for...for whatever reason they fizzle out far earlier, and I'm trying to figure out why. I figure that either I'm boring them or they just don't find me attractive enough. I'm tired of just messaging on the app...I just want to get out and meet people!

 

I can only speak for myself and friends of mine, but we are all wary of meeting a man who is essentially a stranger without getting to know a little about them. I "chatted" with my fiance for about a week before giving him my number, and I didn't meet him for I think another three weeks after that. It wasn't a rapid-fire chat, but more he would send me something & I'd reply later when I had a chance in the day.

 

I know I'm female, but is it not questionable if a girl will meet up with a stranger that quickly? It would say to me that either she isn't too bright or she's a bit loose/easy.

 

If you want to get out and meet people, why not just....get out and meet people instead of using tech toys?

[ktya]

Marks, I think that you might be being too timid.

 

Tinder is an app for dating, meeting friends, whatever goes. The girl already matched you you if your interested you got to ask for the number fast. Not the first message or anything but you really want to get the number in about 20-30 minutes or 5-10 messages.

 

The easiest way I find to get the number is to simply say, "Whats your number I'll text you". The chicks usually find it humourous and a bit sexy that your so forward about it. I havent had a single one resist, but if they did I'd just say that its a pain in the neck talking through the Tinder app and texting is easier.

 

Also when you ask for their number and say your going to text them, its not much of a barrier to transition from sending text messages through Tinder to sending text messages through SMS. Then its not much of a barrier going from SMS to voice you can just ask if you can call and if they say yes you have the number already there.

 

I've only been on Tinder since Friday and I already had a chick come to my house. Mind you me and my friend were bombed on vodka and the girl went for him but to go from installing the app to having a chick show up at my house less than 24 hours later I gotta say, the thing works.

 

Flakiest dates I've ever lined up though through Tinder. Not as formal as a POF or OKC date.

Edited April 14, 2014 by ktya
addressing wrong user

[atlg8r]

atlg8r, I think that you might be being too timid.

 

Tinder is an app for dating, meeting friends, whatever goes. The girl already matched you you if your interested you got to ask for the number fast. Not the first message or anything but you really want to get the number in about 20-30 minutes or 5-10 messages.

 

The easiest way I find to get the number is to simply say, "Whats your number I'll text you". The chicks usually find it humourous and a bit sexy that your so forward about it. I havent had a single one resist, but if they did I'd just say that its a pain in the neck talking through the Tinder app and texting is easier.

 

Also when you ask for their number and say your going to text them, its not much of a barrier to transition from sending text messages through Tinder to sending text messages through SMS. Then its not much of a barrier going from SMS to voice you can just ask if you can call and if they say yes you have the number already there.

 

I've only been on Tinder since Friday and I already had a chick come to my house. Mind you me and my friend were bombed on vodka and the girl went for him but to go from installing the app to having a chick show up at my house less than 24 hours later I gotta say, the thing works.

 

Flakiest dates I've ever lined up though through Tinder. Not as formal as a POF or OKC date.

 

I wasn't being timid. I just don't "hook up" with guys, particularly not strangers who for all I know could be rapists, murderers, etc!

 

I'm not on it anymore, but surprisingly it is how I met my fiance last year. If you are just looking for a skank to sleep with, then sure, your approach is great. The OP indicated he wants to meet people, make new friends or maybe date. Different approach for different results.

[organizedchaos]

Ok, sure...here's an example of the hot Latina girl I was messaging with a while back...it seemed like a fun back and forth which lasted over a day:

 

She made some mention of being the "nice" twin in her little description, so I ran with that.

 

Me: Hi So what makes you the nice twin?

Her: Hahaha trust me...I am the nice one!

Me: Hmmm...how do I know you're telling the truth? She might be saying the same thing about herself...

Her: Hahaha she's actually proud of being the evil one...She embraces it lol

Me: Maybe she's actually the nice one and you're just saying that to lure me in

Her: Hahahaha you caught on pretty early! I'm busted lol

Me: I knew it! Haha. You're a tricky lady..I'll have to keep my eye on you

Her: Haha, you can try...But I'm too quick lol

Me: Oh, so you're a professional?

Her: I've been trained very well!

Me: Well, I think you underestimate my abilities...

Her: Oh really??? I'm a little intrigued.

Me: Yeah...I'm pretty sure I'd give you a run for your money

Her: Hahaha suuuree you would

Me: Oh, don't believe me?

Her: Hmmm no

Me: Hmmm...you seem awfully sure of yourself...I'm not sure I believe you either.

Her: It's ok...You'll believe the nice one but since I'm the evil one you can't

Me: Ah, I see...so you admit that I'll have to keep an eye on you...

Her: Hahaha I'll admit that you can try

...

 

And it just kept going from there. I was trying to work it so that I'd smoothly be able to ask for her number, but I didn't feel like I ever reached the point where I'd naturally be able to ask her for it. So nothing ever came of it.

 

 

 

Ok great, but what do you say when you message them? What do you say to get them to give you their number? Any examples? A number of people have said, "well, I just message them a few times and quickly get their numbers... ", but that's very vague and not at all helpful to someone who has yet to figure out what they need to say in their messages to quickly transition from initial match to getting a girl's number.

 

 

 

I feel like you're the exception though...for the most part, girls don't initiate conversations on the app with me unless they're a bot, lol. But anyway, are you suggesting that I should just offer my number first and see if they take me up on it?

 

 

 

What constitutes a genuine question? Like what they do for a living or what they like to do for fun? Or is that too boring? I'm not focused on getting a hookup, I'm just trying to meet people. I mean, I want to get to know people, but trying to get to know people through the app is rather tedious, and I'd much rather just meet the girl in person and get to know her face-to-face. How else are you supposed to actually get to know someone and know whether you're actually a match without meeting them in person? What you're suggesting is that girls want to have long, drawn out text conversations before giving out their number and potentially wanting to meet...but so far my experience hasn't supported that theory.

 

Besides I don't think most of the app conversations I have get far enough along for the girl to make a determination as to what I'm looking for...for whatever reason they fizzle out far earlier, and I'm trying to figure out why. I figure that either I'm boring them or they just don't find me attractive enough. I'm tired of just messaging on the app...I just want to get out and meet people!

 

 

All you do is just ask! Just say something like, you know, I hate using this app to chat, how about we take this to text?

 

I've done that, and 9/10 she says something like "sure! here's my number. Call or text anytime"

 

In your example above, you could have EASILY transitioned to a date by just saying something like:

 

Me: Ah, I see...so you admit that I'll have to keep an eye on you...

Her: Hahaha I'll admit that you can try

Me: Then let's try - over drinks! What night works for you this week?

 

Then you transition to text right after she tells you when she's free. If she balks at meeting you after the exchange you just had, then she wasn't that interested. But you had a good flow going, that's when you need to make your move!

[hasaquestion]

All you do is just ask! Just say something like, you know, I hate using this app to chat, how about we take this to text

 

^This^

 

Come on son! (Read that in a Stephen A. Smith voice for full effect)

 

That conversation is a gold mine in terms of logical times to ask for someone's number.

[organizedchaos]

^This^

 

Come on son! (Read that in a Stephen A. Smith voice for full effect)

 

That conversation is a gold mine in terms of logical times to ask for someone's number.

 

Exactly.

 

Again, witty banter is great for establishing rapport and comfort. But witty banter gets boring if you drag it out too long and don't escalate and actually make a move. The other person will lose interest.

[RonaldS]

There's no 'smooth' anything. I don't even ask.

 

I just say, 'BTW, I'm not a huge fan of chatting on Tinder. My number is ###-###-####. Fire me a text'. I have yet to have one single girl not text pretty much right away. Then, you chat for a few and just say, 'We should definitely meet up sometime soon'. If you really want to come off like a superstar, ask them if it's cool if you call them.

 

But I give my # because it would weed out anybody who isn't interested. It puts the onus on them to initiate contact. They always do.

 

Don't screw around trying to smoothly segue into asking either for their # or suggesting you meet up. The interest is there initially, so don't kill it with endless, directionless jibber jabber. Less is more.

[SoonMyFriend]

I have my second Tinder date tomorrow. With this guy, we chatted briefly for a couple of days and then he asked for my number to text.

 

No science to it, just use the line "I hate chatting on this thing, do you prefer to text or bbm?" and go from there.

 

I agree, it's a good way to gauge interest.

 

As a female - just ask questions about me to show you actually care about more than my vagina. Or that you're at least willing to put in some effort. We don't need to share our life stories, but at least establish that we would at least have things to talk about on a date.

[Stay]

Ok, sure...here's an example of the hot Latina girl I was messaging with a while back...it seemed like a fun back and forth which lasted over a day:

 

She made some mention of being the "nice" twin in her little description, so I ran with that.

 

Me: Hi So what makes you the nice twin?

Her: Hahaha trust me...I am the nice one!

Me: Hmmm...how do I know you're telling the truth? She might be saying the same thing about herself...

Her: Hahaha she's actually proud of being the evil one...She embraces it lol

Me: Maybe she's actually the nice one and you're just saying that to lure me in

Her: Hahahaha you caught on pretty early! I'm busted lol

Me: I knew it! Haha. You're a tricky lady..I'll have to keep my eye on you

Her: Haha, you can try...But I'm too quick lol

Me: Oh, so you're a professional?

Her: I've been trained very well!

Me: Well, I think you underestimate my abilities...

Her: Oh really??? I'm a little intrigued.

Me: Yeah...I'm pretty sure I'd give you a run for your money

Her: Hahaha suuuree you would

Me: Oh, don't believe me?

Her: Hmmm no

Me: Hmmm...you seem awfully sure of yourself...I'm not sure I believe you either.

Her: It's ok...You'll believe the nice one but since I'm the evil one you can't

Me: Ah, I see...so you admit that I'll have to keep an eye on you...

Her: Hahaha I'll admit that you can try

...

 

And it just kept going from there. I was trying to work it so that I'd smoothly be able to ask for her number, but I didn't feel like I ever reached the point where I'd naturally be able to ask her for it. So nothing ever came of it.

 

 

I think you could be a bit more aggressive, get to the point and be direct. It almost seems a bit dragged on here. Be witty. But following that you could've easily said something like..

 

"I can't keep my eye on your without seeing you first, how about we grab some drinks?"

"Lets see how much of a nice twin you are in real life"

etc.

 

Not sure if those were great examples but something I just pulled real quick on the top of my head.

Edited April 14, 2014 by Stay

[freetolove]

I tried it for a few days and I don't like it very much.

[BradJacobs]

After being on there a while and having a lot of fun, I found a diamond in the rough. Wasn't looking for it but I found it all the same.

 

No more Tinder for me.

[Marks]

Hey guys, thanks for all the suggestions! Very informative...particularly what you guys pointed out about how I could have converted that conversation I posted into a number and maybe even a meet. Dammit, I can't believe I didn't see the opportunity there!

 

What about openers though? Do you just ask them how it's going, or do you try to find something in their pics/description to ask about? Does it even matter?

 

I'm still struggling with getting matches to even to chat with me though...so far I've had another five matches in the past two days, and only one of them has replied so far...and she already fizzled out after one message. The rest didn't even bother replying! I just don't get it.

[organizedchaos]

Hey guys, thanks for all the suggestions! Very informative...particularly what you guys pointed out about how I could have converted that conversation I posted into a number and maybe even a meet. Dammit, I can't believe I didn't see the opportunity there!

 

What about openers though? Do you just ask them how it's going, or do you try to find something in their pics/description to ask about? Does it even matter?

 

I'm still struggling with getting matches to even to chat with me though...so far I've had another five matches in the past two days, and only one of them has replied so far...and she already fizzled out after one message. The rest didn't even bother replying! I just don't get it.

 

 

 

Happens to me too. Its a numbers game.

[xXMarlboro_ManXx]

I just signed up about 3 weeks ago and the app has been great for me. I get about 15 matches a week, I live in a metro area of about 1 million and I don't swipe like crazy either. I am a decent looking guy but I am not everyone's cup of tea. I've gone on 4 dates so far with 2 progressing to 2nd dates. I have 4 upcoming dates with different girls.

 

It all boils down to the numbers game and there is a science to it for me. About 50% of matches have zero or very little contact. About 35% message back in forth a bit but one of us isn't interested in a date. The other 15% I would get a date from. Pretty good for people that I would never meet and it doesn't take to much time.

 

Most of the girls I get dates with I normally get them after the first wave of messages. I normally start with a simple hey and follow up with some simple small talk. After about 4-5 messages about us getting to know each other if I am interested I will ask her on a date.

 

Wish me luck, I have been meeting nice girls on here with shared interests. All the dates have been solid so far, not a bad date yet Hopefully something blossoms into a relationship but I am not rushing anything. I will say nothing has really happened through the app yet but my confidence is sky high.

[xXMarlboro_ManXx]

Hey guys, thanks for all the suggestions! Very informative...particularly what you guys pointed out about how I could have converted that conversation I posted into a number and maybe even a meet. Dammit, I can't believe I didn't see the opportunity there!

 

What about openers though? Do you just ask them how it's going, or do you try to find something in their pics/description to ask about? Does it even matter?

 

I'm still struggling with getting matches to even to chat with me though...so far I've had another five matches in the past two days, and only one of them has replied so far...and she already fizzled out after one message. The rest didn't even bother replying! I just don't get it.

 

Don't get discouraged or put too much into your matches. It is purely a numbers game and sometimes there are cold and hot streaks. I got 4 matches in a row a week ago and got 3 dates next time it happened to me I got zero responses from all of them. People could be busy, have zero interest or just like attention. You just got to think that it is their loss for not responding. Bottom line, if they are interested they will chat with you unless you are being rude or something.

[SoonMyFriend]

Pretty neat article, this guy is pretty clever albeit a bit deceptive.

 

How One Guy Wooed 2,000 Women on Tinder | Adweek

[Strength in Healing]

I always got numbers the same day.

 

It just requires confidence. And very directness without being weird. Gotta come across as you know what you want and you're confident (not cocky). I throw in SOME hex smiley faces here and there.

 

That was when I was single, anyways

[SoonMyFriend]

What about openers though? Do you just ask them how it's going, or do you try to find something in their pics/description to ask about? Does it even matter?

 

I'm still struggling with getting matches to even to chat with me though...so far I've had another five matches in the past two days, and only one of them has replied so far...and she already fizzled out after one message. The rest didn't even bother replying! I just don't get it.

 

To me, openers don't matter. It's a bonus if you reference something, but overall the mere fact you are messaging tells me on some level you are interested.

 

Given the number of dudes who I match with and never message OR never respond when I message first, I automatically assume that any contact whatsoever is a sign he's interested.

 

Just keep it casual, and I'd at least say ask a question even if it's just "how's it going". Don't just say "hey".

[RonaldS]

To me, openers don't matter. It's a bonus if you reference something, but overall the mere fact you are messaging tells me on some level you are interested.

 

Given the number of dudes who I match with and never message OR never respond when I message first, I automatically assume that any contact whatsoever is a sign he's interested.

 

Just keep it casual, and I'd at least say ask a question even if it's just "how's it going". Don't just say "hey".

 

I have a lot of women contact me with 'Hey', or 'Hi '. Zzzzzzzzzzz....try again. Unless they're hot, of course. Then they get 'hot girl exemption'.

[SoonMyFriend]

I have a lot of women contact me with 'Hey', or 'Hi '. Zzzzzzzzzzz....try again. Unless they're hot, of course. Then they get 'hot girl exemption'.

 

LOL which is why I say don't just say "hey". If I message a guy first I try to come up with something more original since I am going in assuming they don't want to chat with me, and I need to convince them otherwise

 

Usually I chirp them about their fave sports team (my profile indicates that I do not cheer for the local team, and instead my fave team is a really random one) or if we have common musical tastes I'll ask them about that.