Tinder dating app

[jonsnuh]

WTF is wrong with me?

 

I matched with two girls, and they asked to see me on Tinder. As likely as I would've gone on a date with women in person, I felt no urge and even considering that the girls were way too easy... Part of me thought it could've been the worst case scenario, that they were bots.

 

Disclaimer: I mean no offense to women. I treat them with the utmost respect.

[Marks]

Okay, so I tried your guys suggestions...I tried being more aggressive and quicker with asking for numbers/meets...

 

Within the span of two days I managed to get a few additional matches and I got two numbers. One of them I've just been texting back and forth with, but I'm not sure I'll meet up with her because she seems kinda young for me (she's 19, I'm 26)...the other I was almost sure I was going to setup a date with because she seems pretty quick to respond and everything she was saying seemed to indicate that she was willing to meet. But when it came to figuring out a time, all of a sudden she was incredibly busy and booked solid for the coming week...and she didn't offer any alternative possibilities. So it seems like she decided to back out last minute...I'm not sure if it was something I said or if I was being too aggressive with setting something up???

 

And then there's this girl I matched with over a week ago...we exchanged one message when we initially matched, and after that she went silent. My last question for her was whether she worked at the company I used to work for in the past, because she seemed awfully familiar. I didn't get an answer for a week, so I figured she wasn't interested...until just a few days ago she finally replied and confirmed that she did indeed used to work there.

 

So we've had a pretty nice conversation going since then (albeit rather slow...it can take hours if not a whole day for her to respond), and so I finally asked if she was interested in meeting, since I figure that it'd be easier to talk in person...of course, she hasn't responded since (I asked yesterday). Given how long it can take her to respond, I'm still holding out hope that she'll agree, but I'm becoming more and more skeptical as time goes on. And I ask myself the question...if she wasn't down to meet, then why did she decide to finally get in touch with me again after a whole week?

[organizedchaos]

Okay, so I tried your guys suggestions...I tried being more aggressive and quicker with asking for numbers/meets...

 

Within the span of two days I managed to get a few additional matches and I got two numbers. One of them I've just been texting back and forth with, but I'm not sure I'll meet up with her because she seems kinda young for me (she's 19, I'm 26)...the other I was almost sure I was going to setup a date with because she seems pretty quick to respond and everything she was saying seemed to indicate that she was willing to meet. But when it came to figuring out a time, all of a sudden she was incredibly busy and booked solid for the coming week...and she didn't offer any alternative possibilities. So it seems like she decided to back out last minute...I'm not sure if it was something I said or if I was being too aggressive with setting something up???

 

And then there's this girl I matched with over a week ago...we exchanged one message when we initially matched, and after that she went silent. My last question for her was whether she worked at the company I used to work for in the past, because she seemed awfully familiar. I didn't get an answer for a week, so I figured she wasn't interested...until just a few days ago she finally replied and confirmed that she did indeed used to work there.

 

So we've had a pretty nice conversation going since then (albeit rather slow...it can take hours if not a whole day for her to respond), and so I finally asked if she was interested in meeting, since I figure that it'd be easier to talk in person...of course, she hasn't responded since (I asked yesterday). Given how long it can take her to respond, I'm still holding out hope that she'll agree, but I'm becoming more and more skeptical as time goes on. And I ask myself the question...if she wasn't down to meet, then why did she decide to finally get in touch with me again after a whole week?

 

Piece of advice: Don't try to analyze anything that people do on this app. How they respond. Do they respond. Why don't they respond. Why does it take so long to respond.

 

It doesn't matter.

 

Just like any other OLD site. It doesn't matter.

[SoonMyFriend]

Piece of advice: Don't try to analyze anything that people do on this app. How they respond. Do they respond. Why don't they respond. Why does it take so long to respond.

 

It doesn't matter.

 

Just like any other OLD site. It doesn't matter.

 

Agreed 100%

 

I used to drive myself nuts with that, but I have been trying to give that up. Not worth it.

 

If she never responds, move on. If she continues to be this slow, even after you set up a date it just might be her communication style and you'd have to decide whether that's compatible with your needs.

 

Otherwise, go for it and good luck!

 

Date #2 with a Tinder match tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing him again.

[Marks]

Piece of advice: Don't try to analyze anything that people do on this app. How they respond. Do they respond. Why don't they respond. Why does it take so long to respond.

 

It doesn't matter.

 

Just like any other OLD site. It doesn't matter.

 

I appreciate that you can be very cavalier about it--and I'm trying to as well--but I can't help but ask myself these questions because it's just my nature to try and understand the world around me. And I'm trying to figure out why I'm getting the fade out time after time, whereas people such as yourself seem to have no problem getting some kind of results.

 

Like I've said before, I'm trying to actually meet people. Due to my schedule and the nature of my job and hobbies, it's hard for me to be able to meet women...so that's part of the reason why I'm trying to use OLD and apps like a Tinder to somehow augment my prospects.

 

But, it does seem like most women on this thing only want a texting buddy at most. The moment I suggest meeting they either fade out or become busy and therefore unavailable. It's so frustrating.

[organizedchaos]

I appreciate that you can be very cavalier about it--and I'm trying to as well--but I can't help but ask myself these questions because it's just my nature to try and understand the world around me. And I'm trying to figure out why I'm getting the fade out time after time, whereas people such as yourself seem to have no problem getting some kind of results.

 

Again, you're trying to analyze human behavior for someone you've never met. Stop doing that to yourself. I've had women not respond. I've had women say "hi" first, I respond, and then they don't. Why? She messaged me first! I don't care. Block, and move on. Not worth my time analyzing it. I had a girl I started an exchange with and then she went silent, for a month! Then she responds again, we start chatting again, and we're going out tomorrow night. So stop this over analysis. Because it doesn't matter. The sooner you adopt this mentality with OLD, the sooner you save your sanity.

 

Like I've said before, I'm trying to actually meet people. Due to my schedule and the nature of my job and hobbies, it's hard for me to be able to meet women...so that's part of the reason why I'm trying to use OLD and apps like a Tinder to somehow augment my prospects.

 

But, it does seem like most women on this thing only want a texting buddy at most. The moment I suggest meeting they either fade out or become busy and therefore unavailable. It's so frustrating.

 

Don't let it bother you so much or you will spoil your chances when someone does start engaging. You are getting WAY too invested in someone's actions that you don't know. Just play the game. They chat, great. They don't, next! You've lost nothing, but are gaining experience.

[Trapito]

I'm having my first Tinder-date this Thursday, looking forward to it. He seems really nice and has dry and sarcastic humor, which I love.

 

We first planned to meet past Monday in the daytime, but he suddenly got ill, and miraculously recovered the same day, asking if I could meet him that same evening. Uhm, no. I made other plans. Since he offered an alternative date (the same day),I thought I should offer him an alternative date also. If he didn't bite it would be game over. If he backs out again, it is also game over. I have better things to do. He now seems very eager to meet, so that looks like a good thing.

 

He is coming to my city to meet up for coffee and a drink. Not at my house, but in a pub or something.

 

I will keep you posted

[jcm101]

So met up with girl from here who goes to same college. We went to bars and both got pretty drunk. I ended up sleeping at her place, but nothing happened aside from making out. She didn't want to do anything and im not like that anyway (trying to sex up drunk girls). Before getting drunk we had solid convo and in morning too. Now, how do I go about this? Do I just ask her to go out to bars again, if so, how soon? Ask her to come over? Go out to dinner? Not sure..

[SoonMyFriend]

So met up with girl from here who goes to same college. We went to bars and both got pretty drunk. I ended up sleeping at her place, but nothing happened aside from making out. She didn't want to do anything and im not like that anyway (trying to sex up drunk girls). Before getting drunk we had solid convo and in morning too. Now, how do I go about this? Do I just ask her to go out to bars again, if so, how soon? Ask her to come over? Go out to dinner? Not sure..

 

Just ask her out again - and if you want to get drunk again, suggest a bar, or if you actually want to talk and get to know her I'd say ask her to dinner. Just strike up a convo again via text or just plain ole ask her out.

[Trapito]

So today was date-day, or shall I call it non-date-day..

 

We messaged each other last night, agreeing to meet today at about 1 pm. This morning I send him a text. No reply. At 12.40 I send him an other text to tell him I would be at a specific place. No reply. I can see he has been online (whatsapp). I haven't send anything more, it's game over.

 

I spend time to put on my make up, do my hair and smelling fabulous. He didn't even have the decency to reply to a text. If you are not coming, just let me know.

 

I didn't go. I knew he wouldn't be there, so why should I even bother. It's now 4 hours later.

 

Oh well.. Luckily there are plenty more fish in the sea.

[SoonMyFriend]

Question - had a second date with a guy last night, but still not sure where it will lead.

 

I took a break from Tinder while waiting for our second date, I wanted to focus on this dude, but now I want to go back on to pick up on a few conversations. I probably won't be swiping. I do want to go on a third date with this guy, I feel like that will be the deciding date with this dude.

 

Or is this bad form to go back onto Tinder until I've decided about this guy?

 

It's tough because second date dude works A LOT so I am not sure when our third date would be.

[Phantom888]

Question - had a second date with a guy last night, but still not sure where it will lead.

 

I took a break from Tinder while waiting for our second date, I wanted to focus on this dude, but now I want to go back on to pick up on a few conversations. I probably won't be swiping. I do want to go on a third date with this guy, I feel like that will be the deciding date with this dude.

 

Or is this bad form to go back onto Tinder until I've decided about this guy?

 

It's tough because second date dude works A LOT so I am not sure when our third date would be.

 

You can and should go back online and keep options open until you are exclusive with this guy. As long as you are not sleeping with multiple guys at the same time, it is still acceptable and respectable.

[Marks]

So today was date-day, or shall I call it non-date-day..

 

We messaged each other last night, agreeing to meet today at about 1 pm. This morning I send him a text. No reply. At 12.40 I send him an other text to tell him I would be at a specific place. No reply. I can see he has been online (whatsapp). I haven't send anything more, it's game over.

 

I spend time to put on my make up, do my hair and smelling fabulous. He didn't even have the decency to reply to a text. If you are not coming, just let me know.

 

I didn't go. I knew he wouldn't be there, so why should I even bother. It's now 4 hours later.

 

Oh well.. Luckily there are plenty more fish in the sea.

 

Flakes...flakes everywhere!

 

I'm personally still waiting on the girl I mentioned in my last post--the one who used to work at the company I worked at. I asked her two days ago if she'd like to chat in person...next day she responded indicating she'd be interested in doing that, and asks me what works for me (I *think* she was asking me about my availability). So I told her and asked about her availability...but she has yet to get back to me...

 

I should've just asked for her number and tried to work it out that way, but at this point I'm not sure if she's actually serious about meeting and is just suuuuuper slow to respond (that seems to be her MO so far), or if she's just dragging her feet. I'm leaning towards the latter.

[Trapito]

Flakes...flakes everywhere!

 

I'm personally still waiting on the girl I mentioned in my last post--the one who used to work at the company I worked at. I asked her two days ago if she'd like to chat in person...next day she responded indicating she'd be interested in doing that, and asks me what works for me (I *think* she was asking me about my availability). So I told her and asked about her availability...but she has yet to get back to me...

 

I should've just asked for her number and tried to work it out that way, but at this point I'm not sure if she's actually serious about meeting and is just suuuuuper slow to respond (that seems to be her MO so far), or if she's just dragging her feet. I'm leaning towards the latter.

 

I kept checking all day if he was online, I was waiting for an apology or something (that never came even though he was online). Checking like an idiot, because I felt we really had a click. I asked myself: "What advise would you give to a friend in the same position?"

 

So, I blocked him on both whatsapp and Tinder. **** him. Why I even waited for an apology, I don't even know.

 

Are you going to wait for her to reply? There are more girls you know.

[ktya]

Again, you're trying to analyze human behavior for someone you've never met. Stop doing that to yourself. I've had women not respond. I've had women say "hi" first, I respond, and then they don't. Why? She messaged me first! I don't care. Block, and move on. Not worth my time analyzing it. I had a girl I started an exchange with and then she went silent, for a month! Then she responds again, we start chatting again, and we're going out tomorrow night. So stop this over analysis. Because it doesn't matter. The sooner you adopt this mentality with OLD, the sooner you save your sanity.

 

 

 

Don't let it bother you so much or you will spoil your chances when someone does start engaging. You are getting WAY too invested in someone's actions that you don't know. Just play the game. They chat, great. They don't, next! You've lost nothing, but are gaining experience.

 

Ace advice. Listen to this guy's advice.

 

I have like 9 girl's phone numbers that I'm chatting with right now. One I banged on the first date just last night. Another I banged on the first date, she moved away, and I'm still dating her but with her living in another city she falls off the grid for a few days at a time. Another I havent met yet who seems like so busy I can't nail a date down with her despite talking to her for months. Another girl that I'm not even sure I want to date but she has a killer job so maybe later. Another that I banged once years ago who recently broke up with her cohabiting boyfriend and is supposedly dating another guy yet spends hours on the phone with me every other day. And so on and so on and so on.

 

Just keep getting numbers, chatting with girls, trying to meet them. If they get annoying delete/block and if they fall off the radar save a touching base message for a night when you have downtime.

[daisybuchanan55]

I actually would advise against blocking anyone unless they do something horrendous. Sometimes I don't respond for weeks for whatever reason and then reappear back on the scene! And btw I've been on like a zillion Tinder dates...I LOVE IT!

 

By the way, came across this article earlier today and I think a lot of you who are wondering about ACTUAL in-real-life Tinder dates might find it humorous/enlightening...kind of shows you what goes on!!

 

What REALLY Happens on a Tinder Date | The Eighty8

[SoonMyFriend]

Another bonus to Tinder is how it's even helping me get dates with guys I already know...

 

A saw a guy I went to university with on Tinder, and we matched last Wednesday. I knew he was going to be at the same party as me Saturday night, so I didn't send him a message. Figured we'd laugh about it in person.

 

That's exactly what we did - we joked about it, our friends all asked about Tinder (most are married or in relationships), and then when we got some one on one time we had a good chat.

 

In university I thought he was a good looking guy, but I was in a serious relationship so could never persue anything. In term, he once asked me to make out at a party back in school and I had to politely decline.

 

SO yesterday morning I woke up, and decided WTH and sent him a Tinder message saying if he was ever up for going out for drinks he's my #

 

He responded back and we're going to figure out a date!

 

Thanks Tinder! Bonus!

[RonaldS]

Flakes...flakes everywhere!

 

I'm personally still waiting on the girl I mentioned in my last post--the one who used to work at the company I worked at. I asked her two days ago if she'd like to chat in person...next day she responded indicating she'd be interested in doing that, and asks me what works for me (I *think* she was asking me about my availability). So I told her and asked about her availability...but she has yet to get back to me...

 

I should've just asked for her number and tried to work it out that way, but at this point I'm not sure if she's actually serious about meeting and is just suuuuuper slow to respond (that seems to be her MO so far), or if she's just dragging her feet. I'm leaning towards the latter.

I've said it like 50 times in this thread...

 

Get the other person's phone # early. Shouldn't have to send more than 6 or so messages ea back and forth. The longer you chat on there, the quicker you screw yourself.

 

Get #s!

[Marks]

I've said it like 50 times in this thread...

 

Get the other person's phone # early. Shouldn't have to send more than 6 or so messages ea back and forth. The longer you chat on there, the quicker you screw yourself.

 

Get #s!

 

Luckily I haven't had to ask for any more numbers, because I finally met up with the girl who was slow to respond...we've been on two dates already, and kissed on the second So far she seems interested, and I like her...so I'll see how things go

[hasaquestion]

Luckily I haven't had to ask for any more numbers, because I finally met up with the girl who was slow to respond...we've been on two dates already, and kissed on the second So far she seems interested, and I like her...so I'll see how things go

 

^This guy ladies and gentlemen^

[AD1980]

3 months and not one "like" im hopeless im offically retiring from the dating game that ive never entered

[somedude81]

It's amazing how many hot girls are on Tinder within 15 miles of me.

 

I feel like I "liked" at least 100 girls tonight. Though the odds of any of them liking me back are near 0%. Oh well, at least I'm trying.

 

I did start using some new pictures for Tinder, two of them are in my forum album. It's amazing how hard it is to get a good picture.

[daisybuchanan55]

Tinder is defs a numbers game...just keep trying!

 

And btw, your pics DO make a difference...whether you're a guy or girl. You should definitely spend time picking some good ones if you want the app to work for you.

 

This list actually tells you exactly what not to do (guys): Guys: Here's how to get a right swipe on Tinder | The Eighty8

 

I have a method on my Tinder...first pic is an up-close shot of my face, second pic is whole body, third pic is me doing something athletic, next pic is me in a dress...shows me entirely, in different lights. It works!

[hasaquestion]

It's amazing how many hot girls are on Tinder within 15 miles of me.

 

I feel like I "liked" at least 100 girls tonight. Though the odds of any of them liking me back are near 0%. Oh well, at least I'm trying.

 

I did start using some new pictures for Tinder, two of them are in my forum album. It's amazing how hard it is to get a good picture.

 

I checked it out. No selfies man! Put a picture with friends visibly cropped out. Selfies are a bad vibe. Makes you look like a loner.

[SoonMyFriend]

Photo turn-offs for me are:

 

-Shirtless selfies

-Working out selfies

-Actually anything of you pumping iron. It looks stupid.

-Driving selfies (why are you taking a photo while you're driving?)

-Photos of you with scantily clad women (I found a profile of a dude who had two women in thongs next to him. Why?)

-Photos of you first pumping, wearing some sort of douchey tank top, holding cheap beer, wearing neon sunglasses, looking like a real bro.

-Blurry photos

-Your profiles is ALL group photos. If I can't tell which one you are, I am not going to assume.

-Photos of you with women that could be your girlfriend/ex girlfriend.