Tinder dating app

[Natalie8]

I am sorry to hear about your bad experience with Tinder. A good friend of mine met her gf on Tinder and now they have just moved in together so i guess there are some success stories.

I also dont think a girl gets 100s of messages unless she swipes right all the time but even then, not all matches would message so i dont think your messages are lost.

I use Tinder ( sometimes go on it several times a day so i do a fair amount of swiping). I only swipe right for less than 10% of their profiles. I get matches often, about half of the guys i swipe right, i match with.

So to give you some stats: in the last 3 months i matched with about 120 guys..out of that i had 3 dates only! Some guys i message first and they respond ( or not) but the conco goes nowhere. Some guys send initial messages that are off putting (either sexual in nature or just Hey babe you'r fit kind of rubbish) so i dont reply to those. 80% of my matches dont ever contact me, and i tend to unmatch them after a while.

I am not sure what you mean by being blocked.. as far as i know there is only the unmatch option. Some guys i set up date with and they never confirm on the day so the date doesnt happen. Some guys just keep messaging back and forth without asking me out. I het unpatient and inmatch them normally. Although i dont mind messaging someone first, i dont want to be the one who asks for a date.

So dont feel too disheartened, its a numbers game. I am good looking with a good profile ( several good quality photos, no group pics, no silly selfies, no duckface, no tiger hugging ) and although i always have a few convos ongoing i rarely end up going on dates, so very limited success for me too. But i keep trying

[fitnessfan365]

I could understand this making sense on sites like OkCupid and Match, but surely on Tinder because only people whom mutually like each other can message each other, women will not be so bombarded with hundreds of messages, unless of course they have swiped right hundreds of times in the last couple of days. If a women did not want loads of messages all they would have to do is not swipe right too many times. However from my experience so far, clearly the mutual matching does not make getting dates any easier.

 

The impression I am getting from Tinder is that it like other dating sites, but with an additional hoop to jump through, that is you have to get a mutual match first before being able to message them. This in effect makes it harder than other dating sites.

 

I've talked to people before who say that swiping on Tinder has become like a reflex for when they're bored.

[Gaeta]

I don't think 'one month' is enough sampling to make an accurate judgment on something. People think they will get online and meet right away. It takes time and patience.

[Phoe]

Think realistically for a second. Do you realize how often girls are right swiped and messaged? We're talking endlessly on a daily basis. Let's say you send a message at 1pm and she opens the app at 3pm. Your message could already be 100-200 deep in her inbox. So a lot of the time, your messages probably aren't even read. I mean do you realize how long it would take to go through and read that many emails?

 

I was in a FWB set up w-a HOT law student once. She was also doing online dating. I'd always been curious how many messages women received, the types of messages, etc.. So she showed me her inbox. Within 24 hours of joining, she already had 500 emails. Also, she'd devote maybe 10 seconds to each email and if they didn't catch her attention instantly, she'd delete. Why? She had so many options at her disposal. On a free service like Tinder, it's even worse. So their attention spans are going to be shorter than ever and that's why they disappear on you. I mean she doesn't know you personally, So she's not rejecting you. To her, you're just another random guy clogging up her inbox that wasn't quite as interesting as another guy she was dealing with. Just try to be more indifferent and treat it like roulette.

 

 

While it's definitely worthwhile to consider a variety of different factors as far as how full her inbox might be, who she's talking to, what she's doing etc., and keep a fairly openminded and slightly indifferent attitude to it, it's also important not to end up over exaggerating any factors and unknowingly slot every woman into categories they definitely don't fit into.

 

In 48 hours of OLD, I had about 16 or 17 messages, and responded to all but 2 (they were crudely sexual, so no). About half of them even responded back to my response, and by the end of that 48 hours there were only 2 men still talking to me. The first one to ask me out got the date, we hit it off, and I deleted my account.

 

To any men who might have come online later in the following days and seen that I'd "disappeared", they might think I'd blocked them! No, I'd simply left because I found someone.

 

There's not always a sinister undertone, there's not always a chaotic sense of being overwhelmed. Sometimes things just happen a certain way, and there was nothing negative hiding behind it.

 

Remaining OPTIMISTIC along with the indifference can help. Don't just automatically assume the worst...

[Keenly]

Think realistically for a second. Do you realize how often girls are right swiped and messaged? We're talking endlessly on a daily basis. Let's say you send a message at 1pm and she opens the app at 3pm. Your message could already be 100-200 deep in her inbox. So a lot of the time, your messages probably aren't even read. I mean do you realize how long it would take to go through and read that many emails?

 

I was in a FWB set up w-a HOT law student once. She was also doing online dating. I'd always been curious how many messages women received, the types of messages, etc.. So she showed me her inbox. Within 24 hours of joining, she already had 500 emails. Also, she'd devote maybe 10 seconds to each email and if they didn't catch her attention instantly, she'd delete. Why? She had so many options at her disposal. On a free service like Tinder, it's even worse. So their attention spans are going to be shorter than ever and that's why they disappear on you. I mean she doesn't know you personally, So she's not rejecting you. To her, you're just another random guy clogging up her inbox that wasn't quite as interesting as another guy she was dealing with. Just try to be more indifferent and treat it like roulette.

 

 

Exactly the kind of thing that gives anyone, man or woman, and inflated sense of worth in the dating world. Soon they might think they are the bee's knees and can get away with anything, because there is always another one right around the corner.

 

Good luck being with an attractive woman these days. They know they can leave you for so much as a missed phone call and go find some one else to tickle their fancy for a few weeks.

 

 

Oh well, keep on keeping on and eventually you find that one that has ugly duckling syndrome. Thats the girl you want right there.

[Tom E]

I would just meet girls when i'm out, that Tinder looks like it has a lot of fakes and odd people on it. Unless you're into that stuff.

 

Good Luck

[soyou]

i've been using for Tinder for close to year. Till date, I have + 1,000 matches.

 

I barely reply anyone. I swipe right and left for fun, or out of boresome. Very once in a while when I'm bored (really bored), I may reply back if the guy looks really good and is able strike a good conversion with me.

 

So it's not YOU. Its unlucky for you to match with people like me. We just dont like to reply that much. We're on Tinder because we are bored, not because we are intensively looking for something.

[IronZ]

Over the past month I have been trying out Tinder. Over that time I have had several matches and have messaged quite a few girls. Great you might think. However I have got a grand total of zero replies from my messages, let alone dates . A couple of girls have disappeared entirely soon after I have messaged them, suggesting to me that they blocked me. My conclusion is that either most people on it are either swiping right somewhat randomly or are just using it to boost their ego.

 

On the other more traditional online dating sites I have used, for all their flaws, at least when you get favorited or liked and then message them, in my experience you do usually get a reply back.

 

Ladies and gentlemen, have any of you had better experiences of Tinder, or have your experiences been a similar disappointment?

 

This. I tried Tinder a while back, it was pointless. Most of the time you get no matches. When you do, even hearing back from them is a crapshoot. Even when you hear back from them, it's very likely they will disappear or lose interest after a while. Of the handful of times I got phone numbers out of it, I only went on 1 date and it was a disaster. I had one girl that I thought was interested and we were supposed to meet but she flaked out.

 

It's really not worth the effort. Like you said, most girls are using it to boost their egos.

[40 Fonzarelli]

I used to think otherwise, then I decided to try Coffee meets Bagel. Essentially it's the same app as Tinder, except you only get ONE person shown to you a day. So a match cannot be due to a reflex or accident. You consciously choose yes or no. I've gotten several matches so far. Some have responded, some did not. Most convos die out after a few exchanges and I have no idea why. No dates. I don't get it either. An ego boost is the only explanation. I have zero expectations now.

[IronZ]

I thought about trying the coffee meets bagel one, but you know Tinder has been trying something similar to that lately. They only let you have a certain number of right swipes per day. I actually think this makes Tinder even worse as now girls are going to be EXTREMELY picky with it. Getting a match on Tinder will be even harder.

 

With coffee meets bagel I see that as a positive, except you have the same problem as Tinder. You are focusing your entire efforts on this one quick profile you saw, mostly based on looks from pictures. Once you start to message the potential date, they almost always lose interest.

[40 Fonzarelli]

I thought about trying the coffee meets bagel one, but you know Tinder has been trying something similar to that lately. They only let you have a certain number of right swipes per day. I actually think this makes Tinder even worse as now girls are going to be EXTREMELY picky with it. Getting a match on Tinder will be even harder.

 

With coffee meets bagel I see that as a positive, except you have the same problem as Tinder. You are focusing your entire efforts on this one quick profile you saw, mostly based on looks from pictures. Once you start to message the potential date, they almost always lose interest.

 

That's what makes zero sense. Of course you are basing a swipe off of looks. That's what you do in real life. Then the next step is to talk. I just don't get why you would say yes and then not respond to the chat. It's not like you are getting bombarded with people like Tinder.

[Heer]

Hi,

 

Prior to finding my current bf I have used Tinder, in fact I still have it downloaded and sometimes I do swipe just for the lols:D:D I used the app for maybe 5 months and in that 5 months only 1/10 are genuine. By genuine I mean not ppl looking for porn or just bots trolling. I actually met a new friend on Tinder and we got each other's whatsapp within 1 week of connecting on Tinder and it turns out that we have the same major but we are in different universities. We went out for coffee a few times and we stayed friends. He really wasn't my type but he is a good friend and we text weekly and still good friends even though we didn't exactly "work out".

 

Advice to the dude is to keep swiping and do post attractive pictures:laugh::laugh:

[DatingDirection]

Why bother then? Going on Tinder, are you THAT board that you use what should be a dating site, to get your ego stroked? I don't mean to sound harsh, but those people that use these "dating sites" because their board, and have such low self esteem, they need approval from others, ruien it for those who actually want to find love. So just get off it, and let people who truly want to meet someone genuine use their time productively. I personally think we should boycott all dating sites, and learn to improve our interpersonal skills, by forcing ourselves to get out there socialise and flirty in person. Make a connection in person. Men these days don't walk down the street and smile at women, or say good morning, as they should. And women these days, are so rude, and mean to men, that it puts them off from even doing so. In addition, to those sexual irritating comments on those dating sites, and those stupid, hey there. Seriously, you want change? Be the change you wish to see in the world, get out there and smile, say hello, and don't give a ****, what anyone rates your hotness. Try having a heart based connection, and we'll all be just fine. Or better then fine, we'll be heart filled, not heartless.

:eek:Imagine that?!

 

 

 

i've been using for Tinder for close to year. Till date, I have + 1,000 matches.

 

I barely reply anyone. I swipe right and left for fun, or out of boresome. Very once in a while when I'm bored (really bored), I may reply back if the guy looks really good and is able strike a good conversion with me.

 

So it's not YOU. Its unlucky for you to match with people like me. We just dont like to reply that much. We're on Tinder because we are bored, not because we are intensively looking for something.

[guest569]

Much the same for women im afraid.. I get matches but most dont talk or just send a few words and thats it. I have had a few dates that were pretty dreadful. And one FWB. I'm still trying though.

[compulsivedancer]

i've been using for Tinder for close to year. Till date, I have + 1,000 matches.

 

I barely reply anyone. I swipe right and left for fun, or out of boresome. Very once in a while when I'm bored (really bored), I may reply back if the guy looks really good and is able strike a good conversion with me.

 

So it's not YOU. Its unlucky for you to match with people like me. We just dont like to reply that much. We're on Tinder because we are bored, not because we are intensively looking for something.

Stop that! You're ruining it for the rest of us.

[compulsivedancer]

I met my boyfriend of 4 months on Tinder, after being on it for just two days. He's kind of perfect for me. We say we "won" Tinder.

 

I have a friend who hasn't had a girlfriend in years who has been dating for 3 months, after meeting a girl on the Coffee-Bagel app.

 

So it's possible. The biggest thing I saw was guys who clearly hasn't taken the time to set up their profile, so some of their pics weren't of them, or were group pics where it was unclear which was them.

 

Also, I read every last profile, and swiped on every last pic, so put up something cute, witty or informative about yourself, and make sure you have at least 3 good pics.

[guest569]

Also, I read every last profile, and swiped on every last pic, so put up something cute, witty or informative about yourself, and make sure you have at least 3 good pics.

 

Yes, swiping through every pic and finding a photo of his bare arse is a left swipe for me haha. I also swipe left on ones who stick their middle finger up at the camera

[Philosopher]

To be fair, when I have been using Tinder I would frequently swipe right without reading their profile, if they had any, and sometimes I would not look at the pictures properly. As a result quite a few of the matches I have got are from women I am not really interested in. I suspect many people swipe right similarly without properly looking at the photos or profile. Hence this could explain why some of my messages go unanswered.

[h0000]

Obviously tinder is a superficial app (more superficial than other OLD sites) and if you aren't a good looking man, it will not work for you.

If you are a good looking man, you will be able to get what you want fairly easily.

[impatiently_patient]

Why bother then? Going on Tinder, are you THAT boared that you use what should be a dating site, to get your ego stroked? I don't mean to sound harsh, but those people that use these "dating sites" because their board, and have such low self esteem, they need approval from others, ruien it for those who actually want to find love. So just get off it, and let people who truly want to meet someone genuine use their time productively.

 

I couldn't agree more. I'm starting to think there is some self-selection going on with dating sites. I think there is a full range of men on there, from the best to the absolute worst...but on the other hand, I get the feeling that by-and-large, a huge chunk of women on dating apps/sites are insecure, narcissistic, and unempathetic personalities. The type of woman I want to date (or heck, even to have as a friend) is not the type of person who would use Tinder or whatever as a tool for self-validation.

 

I personally think we should boycott all dating sites, and learn to improve our interpersonal skills, by forcing ourselves to get out there socialise and flirty in person. Make a connection in person. Men these days don't walk down the street and smile at women, or say good morning, as they should. And women these days, are so rude, and mean to men, that it puts them off from even doing so. In addition, to those sexual irritating comments on those dating sites, and those stupid, hey there. Seriously, you want change? Be the change you wish to see in the world, get out there and smile, say hello, and don't give a ****, what anyone rates your hotness. Try having a heart based connection, and we'll all be just fine. Or better then fine, we'll be heart filled, not heartless.

:eek:Imagine that?!

 

Yeah, I don't know why any of this is so hard for people. I smile all the time and more often than not, get ignored (or at best, get nasty looks thrown back).

 

I think online dating could be decent, and great for us who have such a hard time encountering the right types of interested and available in the real world. I just wish someone would make a dating app that doesn't beat up on men so bad. I feel like such a worthless piece of garbage every time I log on.

[mortensorchid]

I'm not sure what to make of Tinder. I met only one guy through it and I think that was the exception to the rule. Remember, this is the same technology that gave us Grindr (and if you don't know what that is, Google it), and Grindr is ... Well it's what it is.

 

Quite honestly, it's a cross between a waste of time and nonsense. Kind of like OLD. And yet you do it because you have that little glimmer of hope that somehow, someday it will happen to you. Isn't that why we do it to begin with?

[SmartDude]

It has been fine for me, I get dates really easy I guess.

 

What seems to work is to being a little bit bolder than you would be on other dating sites. It is tinder after all. Though it may have a reputation as a hook up site, It seems most use the app for dating. Chatting back and forth, I lost a few. But every time I asked a woman out within the first few texts, it worked!

 

I have had women ignore my first message as well. But then I message them again, maybee provoke them a little and it seems to work. As long as its interesting, it has a chance of getting a reply.

[Mathematics]

Tinder is a numbers game. You are not going to obtain instant gratification. I had a LTR from it, a one night stand and I am currently dating a girl I met there. It does work hope it does for you soon

[dragonfire13]

See, I would disagree: I think it's a waste of time for women.

 

I've dabbled with tinder and I get matches...but no-one talks!? They either don't bother message you, or ignore you when you message them.

 

The (very few) guys who do talk, when you suggest meeting up they're flaky and never get back to you.

 

It all seemed like a waste of time so I gave up on there lol.

 

I think with other online dating sites you have guys who are actually looking to meet someone...Tinder is just a game for most people on there, it seems.

[organizedchaos]

Tinder has a very low barrier to entry. So yes, some just use it to waste time.

 

But with any type of old, it takes time. Some will have success with it, some won't, just like any other site. Worked for me but it took time.