Tinder dating app

[iphone_user1]

Get used to it LOL Attention seekers everywhere and all day, all night

Edited March 26, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
language~T

[Miss Peach]

Also, unless you're super smooth on the phone, do not call before meeting. Let the awkwardness of spontaneous conversation happen on the first date where they can't ghost you without ever having met you face to face. I imagine a phone conversation with a stranger can fail easily if the chick is looking for a spark. It will turn her off to the idea of meeting.

 

How funny... I rarely would go out with any guy I didn't talk to on the phone for 15 minutes. IRL I could vet a guy out for a few minutes before giving accepting a date. I like being able to do that on OLD too.

[spriggan2]

How funny... I rarely would go out with any guy I didn't talk to on the phone for 15 minutes. IRL I could vet a guy out for a few minutes before giving accepting a date. I like being able to do that on OLD too.

 

How old are you? Everyone I've met through Tinder has been a heavy texter. I feel like all the vetting questions occur through text messages and they're ok with that. And they see my pictures which I try to keep classy.

 

After all that the phone convo just feels superfluous, and needlessly risky for a first impression play, no atmosphere, no visual aid. Not saying it won't work but I'm less confident. I mean this is tinder, and from a male's perspective, if you drop the excitement ball early on you're getting ditched for one of the girl's many thirsty matches. You have to be on point, establish favorable conditions. If phone field advantage is a strength of yours, go for it. If not, avoid.

 

I'd rather present my spontaneous self for the first time face to face as opposed to phone, but yes everyone is different. My friend sets up brief coffee dates which he sees as a predate, and date #2 will be the more serious date if things go well.

 

I like to start with dinner dates. I set them up downtown where there are a lot of people around. I pick so I pay, but nothing too expensive, which aleviates pressure. I like dressing nice and meeting for the first time in a cozy semi romantic atmosphere. Favorable conditions.

Edited March 23, 2016 by spriggan2

[angel.eyes]

How funny... I rarely would go out with any guy I didn't talk to on the phone for 15 minutes. IRL I could vet a guy out for a few minutes before giving accepting a date. I like being able to do that on OLD too.

 

Same here!! In fact, I never went out with a guy unless we had a good phone call. If he couldn't hold a conversation over the phone or was worried that he would run out of stuff to discuss on a first date, then his social skills were pretty limited. How are you going to maintain conversation over the course of a long-term relationship if you can't even keep it going in one or two encounters?

 

What I discovered was the better the phone conversation, the better the conversation and connection on the date itself. It was a great screening tool! Anyone can sound great when texting. It's much harder to hide incompatibilities, deal breakers, and your true personality on a phone call.

[angel.eyes]

I disagree with your interpretation of Tinder, I know plenty of people who use it for legit relationships. I went to a wedding just yesterday of two people who met on Tinder and used it with intention of finding something serious.

 

You're out of date with it, is all.

 

I agree with this! It's like any other venue where people are trying to meet and date. You'll have some people looking for flings and some people looking for long-term, committed relationship. It's up to you to ascertain that, among other things, the person you're currently talking to is looking for the same things you are.

 

Blanket statements and opinions about Tinder, OLD, or whatever simply limit your options unnecessarily. Most daters use OLD. Most are on Tinder.

 

Here's a great article I read recently: Tinder Dating Pool (NY Times)

[Omei]

I'd flat out say if they don't wanna set up a date that I'm not interested in pen paling and take care lol

[Jejangles]

I joined Tinder twice, probably had about 10 dates from it over the two times. The guys from there were the same type of guys as those I met on OkCupid, I just tended to know less about them, so I definitely ended up on dates I wouldn't have gone on if I had read a full profile.

 

However, I do think Tinder is more than a hook up site! I met my current boyfriend of 3 months on there - we dated in a traditional way, didn't have sex until a month in. And my friend just got into a relationship from Tinder as well. It is possible, you just have to screen the same way you would from any online dating site and get to know them in person.

[Miss Peach]

How old are you? Everyone I've met through Tinder has been a heavy texter. I feel like all the vetting questions occur through text messages and they're ok with that. And they see my pictures which I try to keep classy.

 

After all that the phone convo just feels superfluous, and needlessly risky for a first impression play, no atmosphere, no visual aid. Not saying it won't work but I'm less confident. I mean this is tinder, and from a male's perspective, if you drop the excitement ball early on you're getting ditched for one of the girl's many thirsty matches. You have to be on point, establish favorable conditions. If phone field advantage is a strength of yours, go for it. If not, avoid.

 

I'd rather present my spontaneous self for the first time face to face as opposed to phone, but yes everyone is different. My friend sets up brief coffee dates which he sees as a predate, and date #2 will be the more serious date if things go well.

 

I like to start with dinner dates. I set them up downtown where there are a lot of people around. I pick so I pay, but nothing too expensive, which aleviates pressure. I like dressing nice and meeting for the first time in a cozy semi romantic atmosphere. Favorable conditions.

 

I'm early 30s. Different guys find different things work for them. Same with women. I dislike that sort of dating from OLD.

 

The deal with me is I have a pretty full life. I have no problems making time but I don't want to spend my limited free time in crappy dates. I realize not all will result in a love connection but if I can't at least have a pleasant conversation then there is no reason for me to make the time IMO. My biggest issue with OLD is I have no idea if there is any chemistry or if I'll enjoy my time on the date. After a ton of crappy, time wasting dates, that is why I screen the way I do.

 

With IRL dating I know I at least have some decent chemistry and a pleasant conversation to look forward to. I don't know that on OLD.

 

Same here!! In fact, I never went out with a guy unless we had a good phone call. If he couldn't hold a conversation over the phone or was worried that he would run out of stuff to discuss on a first date, then his social skills were pretty limited. How are you going to maintain conversation over the course of a long-term relationship if you can't even keep it going in one or two encounters?

 

What I discovered was the better the phone conversation, the better the conversation and connection on the date itself. It was a great screening tool! Anyone can sound great when texting. It's much harder to hide incompatibilities, deal breakers, and your true personality on a phone call.

 

I've found this too. Plus if there was chemistry on the phone I tend to find it translates IRL too.

[Justanaverageguy]

I agree with this! It's like any other venue where people are trying to meet and date. You'll have some people looking for flings and some people looking for long-term, committed relationship. It's up to you to ascertain that, among other things, the person you're currently talking to is looking for the same things you are.

 

Blanket statements and opinions about Tinder, OLD, or whatever simply limit your options unnecessarily. Most daters use OLD. Most are on Tinder.

 

 

Tinder when it first launched was basically a straight up hookup and sex app. It was released as the hetro version of grinder. If you used it at all about 3-4 years back it was completely different to what it is now. It was about sex and that was pretty much it.

 

It has however slowly gone more mainstream as it got more popular. It is now filled with people looking for legitimate dates and relationships probably more so then those just looking for hookups. The app makers are also consciously trying to move it this way providing additional information like links to instagram, job and education information etc etc.

 

Because of its origins it does still have a very bad rep amongst certain groups. Despite what it is today it was originally a sex\hookup app and some people will never shake that association

[Jejangles]

Because of its origins it does still have a very bad rep amongst certain groups. Despite what it is today it was originally a sex\hookup app and some people will never shake that association

 

Totally agree with everything you said... I should also say I am in my mid 30s, so my experiences are with 30 somethings on Tinder. It's fairly likely the use of Tinder varies by both geography and age. I liked it though and in fact told my OkCupid using friends to use it as well! There is just a little more instant gratification plus it is more like meeting someone in the real world (you learn about them over time, rather than from a big profile).

 

I don't know if I would have dated my boyfriend if I had seen his profile on OkCupid to be honest. Tinder allowed me to be more open minded and see the real person behind the photos and short profile.

[Jabron1]

People who dodge date invites are just wasting your time, and looking for an orbiter.

[angel.eyes]

At launch, yes, no one took it seriously. But that was then, and this is now. As with everything in life, things change. It's original history is irrelevant if you're dating today. I know lots of people over the last few years who are in relationships with or married to people they met via Tinder.

 

Why make things harder for yourself by automatically eliminating a very large pool of potentially good dating candidates?

 

Tinder when it first launched was basically a straight up hookup and sex app. It was released as the hetro version of grinder. If you used it at all about 3-4 years back it was completely different to what it is now. It was about sex and that was pretty much it.

 

It has however slowly gone more mainstream as it got more popular. It is now filled with people looking for legitimate dates and relationships probably more so then those just looking for hookups. The app makers are also consciously trying to move it this way providing additional information like links to instagram, job and education information etc etc.

 

Because of its origins it does still have a very bad rep amongst certain groups. Despite what it is today it was originally a sex\hookup app and some people will never shake that association

Edited March 28, 2016 by angel.eyes

[dumbass2]

Do many men and women in their 40's and 50's use Tinder?

[joseb]

Do many men and women in their 40's and 50's use Tinder?

 

I'm in my 40s and I use it.

 

Lots of others in that age group show up too.

 

Why do you ask?

[dumbass2]

I'm in my 40s and I use it.

 

Lots of others in that age group show up too.

 

Why do you ask?

 

I've mostly used Match and have had success, but looking to maybe try something different. I just hit 50 and just wonder if it's worth giving it a shot. I date in the 40-50 range so just wondering if there's a decent pool of women in that age range (on average) looking for a relationship. I'm in the Los Angeles area.

[Jabron1]

Do many men and women in their 40's and 50's use Tinder?

 

I don't think very many women do.

 

I had Tinder set up to search for women between 18 and 45 for a while. I didn't see very many women who were 35+, and even less that were 35+ and in the sort of 'league' that I'm after (and I'm not super picky or anything).

 

I did meet a hot 40 year old woman on Adult Friend Finder though for a hook-up style relationship. I know that website is kind of frowned upon in polite society, but it's just a hook-up site really.

 

If you are looking for women aged 40+ for a relationship, then Plenty Of Fish, or OK Cupid, will be a million times better than Tinder.

 

Just my experience. You come from Los Angeles, so I think your experiences will probably differ. People seem a bit crazy over there .

[Jejangles]

I've mostly used Match and have had success, but looking to maybe try something different. I just hit 50 and just wonder if it's worth giving it a shot. I date in the 40-50 range so just wondering if there's a decent pool of women in that age range (on average) looking for a relationship. I'm in the Los Angeles area.

 

I would just sign up and see! You're in a major area so have a good chance of having a good selection on Tinder. I am in a major city, mid 30s and had my age range set up to mid 40s and saw lots of guys 40 plus.

 

It really takes under 5 minutes to set up... You just pick a few photos from your facebook profile, write a few lines about yourself and start swiping. See what happens and if you don't like it, delete it! Just be prepared that the match to chat ratio is low... So say hi to everyone and don't take it personally if they don't say hi back.

[Sunnymae]

This thing about "Tinder" it seems like most people are in it just to hookup. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy sex as much or more as anyone else. The thing is, I don't know if I'm hooking up with a person that lacks integrity, I. E. Serial killer, I can't tell from a brief intro if the person has integrity. Sure if the person has something that attracts, and no red flags come up , and if Im in the mood, I might just give the guy the benefit of the doubt. I have noticed that since I changed my Profile to "not looking for a hookup" The matches have dwindled. I had a guy reply, that he was astounded that I would be on here if I wasn't hookuping up. Question Are there any men on Tinder that might be interested in a relationship, or am I on the wrong dating place?? Any feed back on this subject is appreciated.

[hasaquestion]

This thing about "Tinder" it seems like most people are in it just to hookup. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy sex as much or more as anyone else. The thing is, I don't know if I'm hooking up with a person that lacks integrity, I. E. Serial killer, I can't tell from a brief intro if the person has integrity. Sure if the person has something that attracts, and no red flags come up , and if Im in the mood, I might just give the guy the benefit of the doubt. I have noticed that since I changed my Profile to "not looking for a hookup" The matches have dwindled. I had a guy reply, that he was astounded that I would be on here if I wasn't hookuping up. Question Are there any men on Tinder that might be interested in a relationship, or am I on the wrong dating place?? Any feed back on this subject is appreciated.

 

As someone who is male and on tinder, if I see a profile that says 'not interested in hooking up' then I generally don't 'like' them.

 

Why?

 

- Might actually not be interested in more than hooking up.

 

- Expectations. You might seem like a catch on Tinder I haven't even met you yet. How am I supposed to know what I want from you?

 

- The "I hate drama" effect. Life experience has conditioned many of us to assume that when people say they hate drama, they are in fact the dramatic ones. If you don't want a hookup, you can simply.... not hook up. The need to put it out there has unflattering connotations.

 

The first reason is what you are looking to avoid. But #2 and #3 aren't positive side effects.

 

As for "being in the wrong place" I don't think the demographics of what people want from you on Tinder are any different from a comparable real life slice of the population. Its just that 1) real life doesn't let you get as 'honest' as Tinder does and 2) real life filters the people you interact with based on your circles and lifestyle, so on average you'll have more in common with them to begin with.

[Zapbasket]

I have a question about Tinder. How does it determine your location? From your Facebook information, or from your phone's GPS locator tool? Because I set my Tinder search parameters to within 50 miles, but I keep getting matches with people who are sometimes over a hundred miles away. I do live in a rural area so I wonder whether Tinder just automatically widens my search to include more people, but I feel like when I first swipe right on someone's profile, it never indicates how far away someone is. I've gotten to where I ask people off the bat where they live and tell them where I live, and just bow out if it's over fifty-ish miles' difference.

[SwordofFlame]

I have a question about Tinder. How does it determine your location? From your Facebook information, or from your phone's GPS locator tool? Because I set my Tinder search parameters to within 50 miles, but I keep getting matches with people who are sometimes over a hundred miles away. I do live in a rural area so I wonder whether Tinder just automatically widens my search to include more people, but I feel like when I first swipe right on someone's profile, it never indicates how far away someone is. I've gotten to where I ask people off the bat where they live and tell them where I live, and just bow out if it's over fifty-ish miles' difference.

 

I think it is GPS and I have run into the same issue as you with matches being too far away. I think it has to do with the match just visiting your town/city temporarily and then leaving. Or using the feature that lets you swipe in a different city.

[Sunnymae]

Great advice, I can see how I was putting that I didn't wants hookup came acres as having a negative connotation. I must of picked up some negative qualities from my boyfriend.

[hasaquestion]

Great advice, I can see how I was putting that I didn't wants hookup came acres as having a negative connotation. I must of picked up some negative qualities from my boyfriend.

 

Think about it. Who is seeing you on Tinder?

A) Guys who would jump at the possibility of taking you out, and who want a serious relationship, sight unseen.

B) Guys who haven't made up their mind about you, and would feel guilty about leading you on to find out.

C) Guys who haven't made up their mind about you, but will plow ahead and try to hook up anyway.

D) Guys who are only interested if its a hookup, and will try to hook up with you anyway.

E) Guys who are only interested if its a hookup and that's that.

 

So what purpose does the outright NO HOOKUPS! message serve?

A) Gives them, most of whom I'm guess you wouldn't even consider, the green light. Which they already had to begin with.

B) These guys get turned away. But if someone is what you're looking for (since you presumably want someone who is both thoughtful and attractive) they are pragmatically likely going to be in group B.

C) These guys will try to bang you anyway.

D) Ditto, will try to bang you anyway.

E) Turns them away as intended.

 

I don't think it works in your favor to get rid of B to get rid of E.

[Jabron1]

I have a question about Tinder. How does it determine your location?

 

It does that through all sorts of weird ways. And once it has decided your location, that's that. You can't do anything about it, or even check what it is (if I remember right).

 

There are some tricks online to change this, but I found it easier just to spend a pound each month (like 2 dollars or whatever) for Tinder plus, so that I could just set my location and be done with it.

[Sunnymae]

Think about it. Who is seeing you on Tinder?

A) Guys who would jump at the possibility of taking you out, and who want a serious relationship, sight unseen.

B) Guys who haven't made up their mind about you, and would feel guilty about leading you on to find out.

C) Guys who haven't made up their mind about you, but will plow ahead and try to hook up anyway.

D) Guys who are only interested if its a hookup, and will try to hook up with you anyway.

E) Guys who are only interested if its a hookup and that's that.

 

So what purpose does the outright NO HOOKUPS! message serve?

A) Gives them, most of whom I'm guess you wouldn't even consider, the green light. Which they already had to begin with.

B) These guys get turned away. But if someone is what you're looking for (since you presumably want someone who is both thoughtful and attractive) they are pragmatically likely going to be in group B.

C) These guys will try to bang you anyway.

D) Ditto, will try to bang you anyway.

E) Turns them away as intended.

 

I don't think it works in your favor to get rid of B to get rid of E.

 

This is my profile( I just took out the no hooking up wording)Looking for easy going, nice, guy, with a sense of humor. I'm a bit romantic, I like holding hands, cuddling. So, if someone is willing to first be friends then seeing if it evolves, by all means, then match me.

 

Any constructive criticism is welcomed

 

Afterthought.. I re-read it and I think I'm still coming off as not approachable. What do y'all think. No sugar coating.

Edited June 6, 2016 by Sunnymae
Forgot something