Floppy Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 (edited) Jiminy, it seems our break-up happened around the same time frame. I was with my fiance for 4+ years and we lived together for 3+ years. The reason she ended it is because she said she wasnt happy anymore. it was a tough pill to swallow but i did it. She has a 9 year old daughter who was a pain in the rump but I loved her as my own and she loved me as well. I miss the daughter just as much as I miss my ex. I have not had any contact with either of them since the day of the break-up. I deleted my FB account because it was to tempting to look her up. I know within a week she was on plenty of fish. The reason I know this is becasue our ipads were still connected though icloud and i saw her adding new pics. I did a quick search and saw her profile had just been created with 6 days of dumping me. I was hurt but i was also relieved because if she joined a dating site that meant she probably didnt leave me for a specific person. The point im trying to make is, i still miss her and think about her everyday. However for my own sanity Ive had to remove her completely from my life. The only way i can show her my love now is to let her go. I still dream of her but I do sleep well at night because while we may not be together anymore, i know she respects me. Find the peace within yourself to let her go. Edited October 14, 2013 by Floppy 2 Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 i'm doing this for me, not to make her satisfied and give her power. for my own sanity and i have the right to do this, not knowing is the worst feeling. Why do you believe this will help you "know"? When has breaking NC left you with less questions instead of more? Link to post Share on other sites
Chi townD Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 (edited) I don't know why people are getting bent out of shape here. We have to remember that this is an advice forum. So, if he goes against ADVICE that he's gotten on here, what are we going to do about it? Throw him in LoveShack jail?!? How many times have we tried to talk others out of NOT to break NC and they usually end up like this: User: I miss her, I'm so tempted to call her. Us: Don't do it. User: But, I've been hearing stuff about her. I need to know if it's true! Us: PLEASE! Don't do it. User: But, she has my Xbox. I need to get it back! Us: I'll buy you one. Don't do it! User: you know what? You guys are right, screw her! Thanks for all the motivation. Us: No problem! Stay strong dude! User: So...I called her..... Us: *facepalm* User: It's true what they told me. Us: Yeah, what's that. User: She's now a porn star... Us: Yep! That will about do it! Are you gonna go NC now? User:.....well, she said she misses me. Us: that's nice. Edited October 14, 2013 by Chi townD 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 I'm wondering why too! If he's read 427 pages of advice and he still can't get it, then at some point we have to let go and let him do what he needs to do. Everyone is getting too riled up. Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 OP, contact her. Sounds like you're nowhere near rock bottom yet, and until you're at rock bottom, you can't start getting back up. Be prepared though - there will be no answers to why she broke up with you, and she's not interested in getting back together. So basically, be prepared to get a verbal smack down for the duration of the phone call. Good luck. When you get back, I'm sure Simon will make you run laps. You know what? Screw it. Call her. Confess whatever you need to Jimmy. I dont think you'll get what we've all been trying to say until you do it....so just do it. Just prepare yourself for WHATEVER happens. Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 Interested to hear how it went. Please report back Jiminy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted October 15, 2013 Author Share Posted October 15, 2013 Didn't go through with it yet, had to run into work, and I've been busy with it all night. I still need to take notes on what to say. thanks for the support, I'll let you guys know before I go through with this... Link to post Share on other sites
Purepony Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 All girls get jealous if you talk to other girls after the break up regardless of who leaves who. This is their validation to feel great and powerful like they hurt you and you can never get over her. My ex girlfriends to tell me a story about a guy we used to still drive through her sisters house to see if maybe he would see her in front of the house for some reason this happened about 10 years ago and she would get a great pride and satisfaction of telling the story. I think girls just do this because they want you to remain loyal while they go out and move on with our lives Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted October 15, 2013 Author Share Posted October 15, 2013 So I just sent a text to her saying "if I send the jacket, how will I know if I'm not being played or you're gonna tell me off if we 'talk.' Don't worry I'm not sending it, just getting this ball rolling. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 So I just sent a text to her saying "if I send the jacket, how will I know if I'm not being played or you're gonna tell me off if we 'talk.' Don't worry I'm not sending it, just getting this ball rolling. Man, this woman has you by the balls. I hate to say it but you present yourself as weak. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 So I just sent a text to her saying "if I send the jacket, how will I know if I'm not being played or you're gonna tell me off if we 'talk.' Don't worry I'm not sending it, just getting this ball rolling. Coming up next to the plate is J.Cricket. He's been better this season,, but has been in a slump here down the streatch. Lets see if young Crick can pull it out. First pitch: (sending that text) Inside fastball STRIKE ONE 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 That was pretty weak dude. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted October 15, 2013 Author Share Posted October 15, 2013 alright i know i'd get ragged on for that text, she replied "J, why you making it more difficult than it is. send the jacket and we'll talk." i said "why is the jacket so important." her..."it just is." Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 (edited) alright i know i'd get ragged on for that text, she replied "J, why you making it more difficult than it is. send the jacket and we'll talk." i said "why is the jacket so important." her..."it just is." Maybe she wants to give it to another guy. Maybe she's done with you and doesn't want you to have it. Maybe she wants to sell it and make some money. In any case, seems like the jacket is much more important than talking to you. If she wanted to get back, she'd say f the jacket, let's talk about us. You need to wake up, find a spine, do something. Edited October 15, 2013 by Zahara 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 alright i know i'd get ragged on for that text, she replied "J, why you making it more difficult than it is. send the jacket and we'll talk." i said "why is the jacket so important." her..."it just is." How about you fu*king stand up for yourself and tell her it's your jacket because she gave it to you as a gift? What the hell is wrong with you? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted October 15, 2013 Author Share Posted October 15, 2013 Maybe she wants to give it to another guy. Maybe she's done with you and doesn't want you to have it. Maybe she wants to sell it and make some money. In any case, seems like the jacket is much more important than talking to you. If she wanted to get back, she'd say f the jacket, let's talk about us. You need to wake up, find a spine, do something. i told her i don't like using items as a pawn, we should handle this without consequences. i'm gonna say "sounds like you care more about the jacket instead of me." Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted October 15, 2013 Author Share Posted October 15, 2013 How about you fu*king stand up for yourself and tell her it's your jacket because she gave it to you as a gift? What the hell is wrong with you? i told her that already, she ignored that. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 i told her that already, she ignored that. Then there's nothing else for you to say. Stop being a wuss. And of course she cares more about the jacket than she does about you -- YOU'RE BROKEN UP!!!! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 (edited) i told her i don't like using items as a pawn, we should handle this without consequences. i'm gonna say "sounds like you care more about the jacket instead of me." For christs sake, what is wrong with you. Why are you doing this? You knowing that she cares more about the jacket should make you want to put an end to this right now instead of bantering with her about it. You wanted answers. She's giving it to you loud and clear. It's clear she wants the jacket and having any conversation with you about anything else is taking a backseat. Edited October 15, 2013 by Zahara 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted October 15, 2013 Author Share Posted October 15, 2013 she said she agree's with everything i'm saying, but "the jacket is business, leave emotions out of this." Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 she said she agree's with everything i'm saying, but "the jacket is business, leave emotions out of this." Agrees with everything you're saying? What did you say? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted October 15, 2013 Author Share Posted October 15, 2013 Agrees with everything you're saying? What did you say? that we shouldn't use items as a pawn, that we should handle us without consequence. she said if i "send the jacket, then we can talk about getting back together." damn, she's teasing me. Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 that we shouldn't use items as a pawn, that we should handle us without consequence. she said if i "send the jacket, then we can talk about getting back together." damn, she's teasing me. You're a fool. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jiminy Cricket Posted October 15, 2013 Author Share Posted October 15, 2013 You're a fool. i told her, if you're gonna give me false hope, then i won't send it. Link to post Share on other sites
Zahara Posted October 15, 2013 Share Posted October 15, 2013 So if she doesn't get the jacket back, there will be no talks of getting back together? Do you see how sick this is? She's not teasing. She's playing you for a fool and doormat. I'm not sure where you left your self respect but this is getting sad. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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