We are both going insane!

[miss_jaclynrae]

So, the boyfriend is having a REALLY hard time, and we are now trying to figure a way for me to go sooner.

 

 

He wants me to try to come for all of my winter break, while I am thinking of taking 8 week courses and leaving in April.

Trying to figure out what to do is frustrating. He wants me there so badly [to the point where he has honestly brought up me taking a semester off] but financially we need to be smart.

 

 

If I go during winter break, it would be for a shorter time, and the weather wouldn't be all that great. Then again, it would break the separation into two parts.

 

BUT, I would rather go in the spring. It would allow me to still attend classes and get my financial aid and loans, and the weather would be better. Not to mention I could stay for the full 90 days and just move out of here early, adding that 1500 of rent to staying there.

 

 

I feel so bad that I won't be going during winter break, because he is freaking out about being alone over the holidays. I just can't afford to take the trip twice [well I could, but I would rather save the money of one flight for spending money] and it doesn't make sense for me to go during the winter.

 

 

RAWR! LDRs suck. I want my boyfriend back!

[clia]

Is there some reason why he can't come to you? (Isn't he in school? Doesn't he have a winter break?)

[miss_jaclynrae]

Is there some reason why he can't come to you? (Isn't he in school? Doesn't he have a winter break?)

 

Money.

He could,but it would be a complete waste and he is on a very tight budget.

[veggirl]

does he come back next august?

why would you go in the spring if he does? that seems silly to wait THAT long to go THAT soon before he returns. go over winter break. who cares about the weather? bring a jacket.

[clia]

Money.

He could,but it would be a complete waste and he is on a very tight budget.

 

Why is it a waste for him to go to you and not for you to go to him? I'm not following. Maybe forget sending each other any first anniversary gifts or care packages and put that money toward his plane ticket?

 

I don't think you should make any sacrifices pertaining to your schooling to go there early, though.

[Purepony]

Stop dating a broke ass!

 

Before we all get offended because I had the nerve to tell it how it is , let's keep in mind he could get a credit card he could get a loan he could borrow money he could work an extra few overtime hours there is always a way.

[miss_jaclynrae]

does he come back next august?

why would you go in the spring if he does? that seems silly to wait THAT long to go THAT soon before he returns. go over winter break. who cares about the weather? bring a jacket.

 

That is the point though, he comes back next august. That would give us a good amount of time together where BOTH of us are off school.

I would be able to stay longer too, instead of just staying for a little over a month.

The summer made sense because even though he has a winter break, his class finals are not until the end of January, meaning school would be a big focus of his.

 

Me coming in spring/summer would make it so I don't have to worry about school, could completely move out of my place saving myself money, and we would be able to truly enjoy the summer TOGETHER.

 

 

I know it doesn't make a HUGE difference, but the money alone is something I am making a big choice on, that and MY schooling.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Why is it a waste for him to go to you and not for you to go to him? I'm not following. Maybe forget sending each other any first anniversary gifts or care packages and put that money toward his plane ticket?

 

I don't think you should make any sacrifices pertaining to your schooling to go there early, though.

 

 

 

There are mulitple reasons. 1. His schooling over there is costing a TON. He has taken out the max amount of loans and is on a VERY tight monthly budget. He isn't sending me anything btw, it is me... and even though I would love for him to come home, I would rather spend my money in the amazing city of paris in our OWN place than pay to have him fly home for a few weeks to the boring city of ****** and stay with his parents. [i have room mates, and there would be ZERO privacy.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Stop dating a broke ass!

 

Before we all get offended because I had the nerve to tell it how it is , let's keep in mind he could get a credit card he could get a loan he could borrow money he could work an extra few overtime hours there is always a way.

 

Brilliant advice.

[veggirl]

are you just venting or do you want ideas? you said you are trying to figure out a way to go sooner, well, instead of staying for THREE months over the summer why don't you go for a couple weeks now (using some of the spending money you'd use in the summer) and then go for a shorter time in the summer as well? instead of staying the whole summer, use some of that money to go for a week or whatever over winter break.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Stop dating a broke ass!

 

Before we all get offended because I had the nerve to tell it how it is , let's keep in mind he could get a credit card he could get a loan he could borrow money he could work an extra few overtime hours there is always a way.

 

 

 

I just want to add as well, that we are a couple. We are trying to be financially smart as a TEAM rather than individuals.

[miss_jaclynrae]

are you just venting or do you want ideas? you said you are trying to figure out a way to go sooner, well, instead of staying for THREE months over the summer why don't you go for a couple weeks now (using some of the spending money you'd use in the summer) and then go for a shorter time in the summer as well? instead of staying the whole summer, use some of that money to go for a week or whatever over winter break.

 

That is the thing though, the tickets are the biggest expense, I don't think it is smart to spend 1200+ dollars to spend a couple weeks there.

[miss_jaclynrae]

I was venting/trying to figure out WHAT to do.

We know the choices, it is a matter of picking one.

[clia]

Actually, the credit card idea isn't bad. Could he just get a credit card, throw the cost of the flight on it, and just make the minimum payment on it until next summer when he gets back and has more money?

[miss_jaclynrae]

Actually, the credit card idea isn't bad. Could he just get a credit card, throw the cost of the flight on it, and just make the minimum payment on it until next summer when he gets back and has more money?

 

I really do NOT want him to do that. I wouldn't ask him to do that, and I know he would say no anyways [can't blame him either].

He is already spending 20000 in loans this school year and 10,000 of his own money.

 

I will be paying for my ticket, and it is worth it to me, I never dreamed I would get a chance to visit another country at this age. It is a win for both of us, I save on room and board, he is able to focus all his money on living there.

[Els]

When he suggested that you come see him earlier, didn't you bring up the financial issue? What was his opinion on that?

 

IMO next spring would be the smarter choice simply because 3 months >>>>>>>> 2 weeks anytime. Yes, it's closer to his return date... but putting myself in your shoes, the 3 months still sounds like the better bet by far.

[skydiveaddict]

I feel so bad that I won't be going during winter break, because he is freaking out about being alone over the holidays.

 

Oh hell. He'll be alright. Tell him to take a cold shower. Time to be a man.

Would he rather be in the military with a 15 month deployment?

 

RAWR! LDRs suck. I want my boyfriend back!

 

Things could be a lot worse, believe me. Besides, if I had gf as hot looking as you waiting for me, I wouldn't complain about anything.

Edited October 3, 2013 by skydiveaddict

[Carenth]

Well if I had the choice of a shorter trip.. or a long one and having to wait a bit longer I would go with the later.

 

We only had one trip this year which was my girlfriend coming back in August - Sept. I had not seen her since November last year. It was **** but we made it through. We could of had more trips but it would of prevented us from what we are doing now which is me moving over to be with her. Yes I know it sucks, I had some moments of madness a few months ago where I was about to throw in the towel and move over there early.

 

However I'm very glad I didn't I've managed to save a lot more money have had proper time to get my affairs in place. Good things come to those who wait. This early trip does not sound like something either of you can really afford as it is stressing you both out so much. I would be taking some time to calm down. Realise it's not the end of the world and that a 90 day trip is much better than a shorter one.

[miss_jaclynrae]

When he suggested that you come see him earlier, didn't you bring up the financial issue? What was his opinion on that?

 

IMO next spring would be the smarter choice simply because 3 months >>>>>>>> 2 weeks anytime. Yes, it's closer to his return date... but putting myself in your shoes, the 3 months still sounds like the better bet by far.

 

 

Oh of course I did!

He just has major tunnel vision right now and is so focused on seeing me early.

I think the fact that this trip is not shaping up the way he had hoped is making him not use his brain as much.

It breaks my heart and I wish there was a smart way for me to visit during Christmas so he doesn't have to spend it alone... but I too am a broke college student.

[miss_jaclynrae]

Oh hell. He'll be alright. Tell him to take a cold shower. Time to be a man.

Would he rather be in the military with a 15 month deployment?

 

 

 

Things could be a lot worse, believe me. Besides, if I had gf as hot looking as you waiting for me, I wouldn't complain about anything.

 

Time away from the person you love sucks no matter what. As someone who was married to a military man, no situation is above another.

 

He does have a girlfriend as hot as me, sorta makes him miss me more actually...

 

Well if I had the choice of a shorter trip.. or a long one and having to wait a bit longer I would go with the later.

 

We only had one trip this year which was my girlfriend coming back in August - Sept. I had not seen her since November last year. It was **** but we made it through. We could of had more trips but it would of prevented us from what we are doing now which is me moving over to be with her. Yes I know it sucks, I had some moments of madness a few months ago where I was about to throw in the towel and move over there early.

 

However I'm very glad I didn't I've managed to save a lot more money have had proper time to get my affairs in place. Good things come to those who wait. This early trip does not sound like something either of you can really afford as it is stressing you both out so much. I would be taking some time to calm down. Realise it's not the end of the world and that a 90 day trip is much better than a shorter one.

 

 

It is just stressful because I very well COULD make the winter trip happen, It wouldn't be smart money wise, but I could do it.

I totally don't think I should though.

 

We are 2 months into this thing, so the homesickness is hitting hard, homesickness is me more than anything though. He is just so out of his element over there and completely alone... it is becoming detrimental to his mental health.

[FitChick]

 

We are 2 months into this thing, so the homesickness is hitting hard, homesickness is me more than anything though. He is just so out of his element over there and completely alone... it is becoming detrimental to his mental health.

This makes him VERY vulnerable to affairs. Start watching and listening for more red flags. You might have to make a quick trip if you want to have anyone to visit in Paris this summer.

 

With the holiday season coming up, it's a good time to pick up extra work at department stores. You will get a discount on anything you buy, too, so could get some presents for him. He could make extra money in cash tutoring someone in English.

 

Join Frequent Flyer clubs on all the major airlines flying from your city to Paris. You will get alerts for last minute bargain flights. Even flying on Christmas Day.

[miss_jaclynrae]

This makes him VERY vulnerable to affairs. Start watching and listening for more red flags. You might have to make a quick trip if you want to have anyone to visit in Paris this summer.

 

With the holiday season coming up, it's a good time to pick up extra work at department stores. You will get a discount on anything you buy, too, so could get some presents for him. He could make extra money in cash tutoring someone in English.

 

Join Frequent Flyer clubs on all the major airlines flying from your city to Paris. You will get alerts for last minute bargain flights. Even flying on Christmas Day.

 

I honestly am not worried in the slightest about him cheating.

 

I would totally work but my school schedule is pretty overwhelming as it is. [taking 21 units] As for him, he already has a job working as a conversationalist. Pretty much he talks to a group of people and makes them speak English the whole time.

[Carenth]

I know he is upset and all but honestly if he is hating it there you being there for 2 weeks isn't going to fix that. He will go back to being miserable after you leave and then you will have taken a trip you can't afford.

 

It is just stressful because I very well COULD make the winter trip happen, It wouldn't be smart money wise, but I could do it.

I totally don't think I should though.

 

This is the important part. Could I have moved over to Canada back in July? Yes I could have. Would have it been a smart move? No it wouldn't have been, it would have been premature and I would of been surrendering 20 weeks pay in a relatively well paying job.

 

I'm not sure what kind of work I will pick up on the other side but this will give me a lot more breathing room. I'm much more comfortable moving over now because I won't have to worry about money as much or being a financial burden on my girlfriend.

 

Basically all I'm saying is don't make rash financial decisions when emotions are high. I'm sure you already know this though.

Edited October 3, 2013 by Carenth

[HeavenOrHell]

Why bring the idea of cheating into this, this isn't the issue here at all.

What red flags?! There aren't any! They just miss each other.

Many people would never cheat no matter what because they love their partner too much to do that, and they know what their priorities are.

 

 

 

This makes him VERY vulnerable to affairs. Start watching and listening for more red flags. You might have to make a quick trip if you want to have anyone to visit in Paris this summer.

 

With the holiday season coming up, it's a good time to pick up extra work at department stores. You will get a discount on anything you buy, too, so could get some presents for him. He could make extra money in cash tutoring someone in English.

 

Join Frequent Flyer clubs on all the major airlines flying from your city to Paris. You will get alerts for last minute bargain flights. Even flying on Christmas Day.

[Carenth]

People automatically cheat when their partner is not around or did you not get the memo HoH. Seriously though I don't see that as an issue here either. Just that they miss each other which is understandable.