maidai Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 (edited) Not the classic other woman and if you search my threads/posts you can read my back story! 9 weeks since he behaved in a cowardly manner. 9 weeks since he walked away from our 18 month relationship! I have not spoken to him since and blocked ALL avenues of contact. I know he and his wife dived back in. I know it caused dischord for him, his kids and his family, I know he had spent 9 weeks in living hell. I do not care, seriously I do not care. He had choices. He chose to screw me over, a decent, honest, loyal, most importantly STRONG woman who gave him her all when he was seperated and going through a divorce. I spent 18mnths loving this man without question, he betrayed me, left me without a word, a word I still have not had and could have ruined me. I do not have self esteem issues thankfully for me and realised quickly it was his issues not mine. Tonight I have had his close family on the phone. They were very obviously testing the waters for him. He still remains too cowardly to test the waters himself. Pierre was right when he said to brace myself because this was not the end he would not go away. I have told his family again I will not and am not willing to pick the pieces up. I have told them I blocked all avenues of contact between him and me for a reason. I can not block everyone and everyones number and can not change my number for work reasons. I need some advice with this, he is a policeman and his family seem to think me making a complaint will be ignored. How do I make them understand that when someone has moved on and stayed away permanatly from the day I walked and meaning it that there is no going back? It does not upset me or even unsettle me! It annoys me! It annoys me that both him and his family seem to think that I am worth so little and devalue myself enough that I will now go there once again to pamper his ego and pick up his mess and make him feel better and I wont! I am just so hacked off that blocking him means he can use other avenues ie his family to get in touch! I think I need advice but likewise I think I need to sound off and doing it here means I do not go for or at him and give him what he obviously wants, a break in NC! Edited October 2, 2013 by maidai 1 Link to post Share on other sites
cat Posted October 2, 2013 Share Posted October 2, 2013 Maidai, I don't think I have much in the way of advice. I really just want to commend your strength and resolve in cutting him OUT of your life!!! I have waffled, and missed him, and wondered what's wrong with me. I LOVE your self-love and I will take inspiration from it!! Moving on to the issue. I'm assuming you don't know it's them when they call? Can you block each number as it comes up? You could report him/them and see if anything comes of it? The humiliation of being reported to his own department may be a deterrent (though doesn't sound like it if he's so brazen.). I'll keep thinking on it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author maidai Posted October 3, 2013 Author Share Posted October 3, 2013 Thanks Cat x I just went to bed and slept like a log thankfully. I got up this morning sort of cracked my neck and shoulders out and thought right let it go. Sadly I don't have caller ID on my landline although I do on my mobile but as I deleted all their numbers I don't recognise them coming in anymore. I think I will re add those who have called so I am aware. I definately have no desire to have contact with exMM or anyone else involved with him. I have not contacted anyone and have completely walked away but every couple of weeks there seems to be this attempt to pull me back in. I can understand it in a way because we were such a happy couple or so it seemed and the family can see that he has gone back to madness but as I said its not my problem. Link to post Share on other sites
tiernan Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 maidai, I understand your anger, but I don't really see any willingness on HIS part to break NC, you should ignore his familiy and conversations with them. It is not HIM that is standing at your doorstep and begging you, so I don't really see any problem, espacially for making a complaint - it will most definitely be ignored. Cool down please, you have been doing so well, so much better than many of us here, hang in there and just let it go. Stay stong as you have been, I know it is not easy - I thought you have moved on so easily and quickly, but I guess it is still somewhere in the system unfortunatelly Link to post Share on other sites
Author maidai Posted October 3, 2013 Author Share Posted October 3, 2013 (edited) Tiernan I feel fine. I just do not want the intrusion. I think its the lack of respect that angered me so much last night a real *how dare you*. Its this constant questioning on whether I will be there and willing to step back into it if he comes to me with it. They have been told the answer is no and its not going to change. Constantly telling me how bad its going like I am going to swoop into some hero cape and contact him to give him the get out clause or go save him from her and himself. Am sure they think that the longer it goes on and the longer I am out of it the more chance there is I will soften. I won't. I am just greatful that I can come here and blast it off and get it out of my system. Thankfully it was a flash of anger that quickly subsided but from reading here that is when I have seen that others who are not wanting to get back into it sometimes make that *text mistake!*. Venting my anger here helped immensely and like I said I then went to bed and slept well. Edited October 3, 2013 by maidai Link to post Share on other sites
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