extremis Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 There is a tutor I worked with for math at my university. She's great and a wonderful person to be around with. I definitely developed a crush on her but now way would I pursue it or anything because she is already engaged. I guess I must show signs of liking her because she flat out asked me if I like her. I decided to be honest and say yes, and I said it in like a jokey type way making it clear I know she is engaged and nothing can happen, but despite that she now seems to be avoiding me and is somewhat cold to me. Why? Does she think I have no self control? I am not going to try anything. For fricks sake she is the one that asked me in the first place also she is like 28 and I am 22 I never really made any flirty type of statements. If she could tell I liked her it was through anything I wasn't noticing I would never try to get with an engaged woman. I am not that type of person. Even if she was single I wouldn't ask her because I would be too nervous alos this like a walk in tutoring thing. It is her jobs to tutor students that come in Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 Sounds like she either just wanted to ego boost or was truly bothered that you liked her. Either way she sounds incredibly uptight and not worth your worry. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BrunetteBabe1005 Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 She sounds very immature. It could be 2 things why she asked if you liked her. 1 it could be that she doesn't want to lead you on considering she is engaged and so she just wants to make sure. 2 it could be a ego boost (like the person above said) And she likes the fact that you like her and that you can't have her type of a deal. Or another possibility is that she likes you as well but knows she can't go further with you. I liked a guy who was married and I knew I couldn't be with him in any way, so I distance myself from him and I was kinda bitter just because I knew I couldn't have him, so take that into perspective, but either way you don't need someone that will treat you badly. Please find a new tutor, and ditch this bitch lol! Seriously, she is being immature about this, and she doesn't have to be mean to you! So please don't feed her ego anymore by chasing her or talking to her or whatever. Just ditch her, and I know that might seem hard cause you like her, but anytime when someone disrespects you in anyway you should just move on and find someone else, cause YOU deserve respect. Good luck to you! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
imtooconfused Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 1 it could be that she doesn't want to lead you on considering she is engaged and so she just wants to make sure. She probably suspected that you were extra friendly to her because you liked her. Now that you have confirmed it, she doesn't want to lead you on or give you the idea that she has feelings for you, so she is backing off. Sometimes people ask that question even if the feeling is not mutual. If you were extra friendly because you really had an interest in her, that was wrong to begin with because you knew she was engaged. If you are just a friendly person in general, chalk it up to bum luck. Either way, you should respect her space so that she can keep her feelings to her fiancée. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Polak Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 Everyone's responses are great. I agree with all. For a 28-year old, she is kind of immature for even asking that question. She isn't worth it, so don't deal with her if you can help it (see other tutors instead of her). Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 I don't see how asking the question is immature. She suspected it and wanted confirmation. And then acted accordingly. I see nothing wrong with that. I tend to not ask, even when I know, because usually it tends to be friends I really value and I (selfishly), don't want to hang out less with them. I always keep it extremely platonic though, so as to try to not lead them on, with no casual touching, nothing! When they eventually 'fess up, I act majorly surprised. But let them down easy (or not so easy, as was the case with a guy who wouldn't take no for an answer). Your tutor is just being coherent with what she believes in. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 hey extreme, often when you like someone body language and the way you are around them lets them know, even when you are careful, it is a fact you cannot be careful all the time...i think its a strange thing to ask a student and not very professional if she even had an inkling you liked her she should have just left it and maintained a professional distance, there's ways that you can do this without flat out asking and then taking the distance and making a student you are meant to teach uncomfortable...soem things are best left to not knowing........the fact she is engaged says it all...doesnt matter what she was thinking when she asked you.....she is taken......and a no go zone anyway i agree with asg and also polak, try and find another tutor and avoid having contact if she makes you uncomfortable....best wishes....deb Link to post Share on other sites
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