Lostinlife4now Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 I hope that all the OW on this board get to where I am today! And that is......... FREE from the MM. I am so happy that I am out of the affair. It was a joke! He is a joke. And at this point if anyone asked me about xMM all I could say is SCUMBAG! Yep...I can't stand him. I think he is a real low life to have done what he did to his W and Family and also me. I don't wish him any ill will....I just hate him. Ladies, Get to where I am.....free and don't care anymore.....You will all be so much better off. :D:D:D:D 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 I am not as worried with free from a particular person. What I hope for all women is happiness, fulfillment and a sense of purpose in their lives. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 Very good. I think it is great that you've moved on from the bad chapter. What advice do you have for us on how to get there? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostinlife4now Posted October 3, 2013 Author Share Posted October 3, 2013 Very good. I think it is great that you've moved on from the bad chapter. What advice do you have for us on how to get there? Good Morning Goodbye..... The advice I have is SELF-RESPECT! I didn't have any for a long time...but one time it really hit me and I can remember it vividly. He was on vacation with his W and kids at the beach and calling me like a little sneak when his wife was laying on the beach and I had a lightbulb moment....WTF and I doing? They are on vacation, and I am keeping him happy! OH HELL NO! Ever since that moment, I stopped the affair, and he was floored. But then again, he can be very cold hearted..so I don't think it really bothered him. I have so much to offer in a relationship, and he isn't WORTHY of me or my love. Now when I think of him...I get nauseous! 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 I had a similar "light bulb" moment and ended things. Its been a while since I decided I deserve more than to be his Other. Most days I feel steadfast and confident about this. I still get blindsided with emotion though...both ironic feelings of love for someone who deceived me and then blinding anger and desire to let him feel some of the anguish I've live through. I'd love to get to a point of lasting indifference. Not love, not hate...just done. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Sarabi Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 I have so much to offer in a relationship, and he isn't WORTHY of me or my love. Precisely this I love this. Its a good point that we should all remember 2 Link to post Share on other sites
cif Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 I hope that all the OW on this board get to where I am today! And that is......... FREE from the MM. I am so happy that I am out of the affair. It was a joke! He is a joke. And at this point if anyone asked me about xMM all I could say is SCUMBAG! Yep...I can't stand him. I think he is a real low life to have done what he did to his W and Family and also me. I don't wish him any ill will....I just hate him. Ladies, Get to where I am.....free and don't care anymore.....You will all be so much better off. :D:D:D:D Congrats!!! I'm going to take this a step further and say I hope you get to where *I* am and that is not even caring enough to hate him! Indifference is the ideal place. And you are certainly more cavalier than me thinking of his wife because while i pity her i could care less what he does to her. They choose to stay with these POS 2 Link to post Share on other sites
cif Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 Good Morning Goodbye..... The advice I have is SELF-RESPECT! I didn't have any for a long time...but one time it really hit me and I can remember it vividly. He was on vacation with his W and kids at the beach and calling me like a little sneak when his wife was laying on the beach and I had a lightbulb moment....WTF and I doing? They are on vacation, and I am keeping him happy! OH HELL NO! Ever since that moment, I stopped the affair, and he was floored. But then again, he can be very cold hearted..so I don't think it really bothered him. I have so much to offer in a relationship, and he isn't WORTHY of me or my love. Now when I think of him...I get nauseous! Oh trust me it bothers them... you busted his ego! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 Lostinlife4now, I am so happy for you, cause I know, how good it feels too! All that weight just lifts off of you. Then as your mind becomes more clear about things, you realise so many things and wonder why you didn't consider them before. Like self respect. Having my single boyfriend really drives so much home for me now. The dynamic of our relationship, is so healthy, that I cringe, at what, I inflicted upon myself, in the A. LIL4N, your news is very good, things will only get better from here on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
missy268 Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 I just wanted to add that i also cringe at what i put myself through. I am almost ashamed of some of the stuff i put myself through just for him! why on earth did I do that? It's amazing when you realise, i've had some blips but i'm happier without him 6 Link to post Share on other sites
canuckprincess Posted October 3, 2013 Share Posted October 3, 2013 May I ask how long and how involved your affair was? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostinlife4now Posted October 3, 2013 Author Share Posted October 3, 2013 Congrats!!! I'm going to take this a step further and say I hope you get to where *I* am and that is not even caring enough to hate him! Indifference is the ideal place. And you are certainly more cavalier than me thinking of his wife because while i pity her i could care less what he does to her. They choose to stay with these POS cif..... Not caring enough to hate him! Good one!!!!!!:laugh::laugh: Link to post Share on other sites
Artie Lang Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 like most cheaters, this guy has always been a scumbag..... what took you so long to realize it? Link to post Share on other sites
twinsmom Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 I agree! I shudder to think that it took me FOUR years to get over this guy who I thought was my "soulmate". Turns out he was nothing but a passive-aggressive jerk. No, I'm not saying that simply because he did not choose me, either. I joined this board in 2008, I think. Since that time, I've watched countless other women in the same position I was in. Some take the advice that is given; some don't. There have been so many women whose stories I've read that I can't even remember them all now. Very few stories have ended favorably. There have been so many times that I wished I could reach through my computer, shake these women, and say, "Just stop!!!" But, unfortunately, most of them have to come to that point on their own. I can proudly say that I have made NO contact with "him" in well over a year and a half, and I mean NONE, and I couldn't be happier with that milestone. Between the 3 1/2 years of the relationship and the 4 years that it took to move past him, I spent a grand total of almost 8 years on this man! Makes me sick to think of that. Oh, the things that I could have done in that 8 years! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
skywriter Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 Well said twinsmom. I'm forty nine years old now and I regretfully, I allowed my A to go on for 2 months shy of being 6 years. Time seems so precious to me now, at forty nine. Oddly it took some courage to just initiate ending the A. Once I set the end in motion, positive things, that were actually always, within my grasp, became apparent to me. My now wonderful boyfriend, was there, waiting in the wings for me to give him the opportunity. Longtime friends resurfaced. Projects at home got completed, because they just weren't as important as making time for a MM. In other words, all the love and positive things in my life, had been cast aside for an individual that is ok with a lifestyle of deceit and infidelity. Shame on me for participating ,GOD forgive me. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 I would like to say something based on what I have read here. A number of OWs would say that it is better to be where they are....and that is married to their MM. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
twinsmom Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 Skywriter, I'm just about to be 49 myself! When the relationship began, I was 39. Still within child-bearing age. When I think that I could have potentially had another child if I hadn't been caught up in that futile relationship, it makes me even more disgusted. P.S. I live in the southeast, too! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostinlife4now Posted October 4, 2013 Author Share Posted October 4, 2013 like most cheaters, this guy has always been a scumbag..... what took you so long to realize it? Artie....What took me so long to realize it? Because I do STUPID things. NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
SunsetRed Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Hey Lost...You and I have both been on this board for a while now. Ive loved the advice you've given others. Im in total agreement w you. It does feel good to be free. An MM is such a dead weight ball and chain around one's neck. Im glad to be free as well. Cant believe I FINALLY got to a place where he is just someone I used to know! Link to post Share on other sites
SunsetRed Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Good Morning Goodbye..... The advice I have is SELF-RESPECT! I didn't have any for a long time...but one time it really hit me and I can remember it vividly. He was on vacation with his W and kids at the beach and calling me like a little sneak when his wife was laying on the beach and I had a lightbulb moment....WTF and I doing? They are on vacation, and I am keeping him happy! OH HELL NO! Ever since that moment, I stopped the affair, and he was floored. But then again, he can be very cold hearted..so I don't think it really bothered him. I have so much to offer in a relationship, and he isn't WORTHY of me or my love. Now when I think of him...I get nauseous! I had many moments like that myself. He'd be taking "the kids" to the beach and of course the "kids" wanted their mama along. Lol the kids were 23 and 18.. anyway, I'd have to be on call w my phone, waiting for him to call me and he'd tell me how the wife would barely speak to him, was making nasty comments etc, and I was having wtf moments too, as in..the wife is getting an all expense trip to the beach and I'm just here so that he can stroke himself while he's on a phone break. I'm so sorry that I let myself be treated that way! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bailey14 Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Hey, buddy, so glad to hear that you are doing well!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lostinlife4now Posted October 5, 2013 Author Share Posted October 5, 2013 Hey Lost...You and I have both been on this board for a while now. Ive loved the advice you've given others. Im in total agreement w you. It does feel good to be free. An MM is such a dead weight ball and chain around one's neck. Im glad to be free as well. Cant believe I FINALLY got to a place where he is just someone I used to know! Hi Sunset!!!! When I finally stopped it you might have thought I was reborn. It felt like you said a dead weight was lifted from my life, heart and soul! I feel absolutely NOTHING for this person.....Someone I used to know!!!! But my only regret is that his W never found out. I think she deserves to know that she is married to a scumbag. He comes off as the loving father and great businessman....The BEST at everything.....Someday maybe I might get the chance to blow up his perfect little world!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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