Did I over react??

[jamie23]

Hi,

 

I have posted about this person before and some new things have happened and would like some poeple opinions about the letter I wrote. The letter will explain most of what happened at least in breif and I am wondering if I was just in giving her the letter or if I may have overreacted? Its a little long so I hope you will take the time to read it. The sudden change in personality mentioned below was me not really talking to her when we saw eachother at work the weekend before last.

 

I am writing you this letter because I want to explain my sudden change in personality around you. I don’t like leaving things unsaid and I am sure your probably wondering why I am acting this way. Most people wouldn’t bother doing this but I guess I’m different. After you told me that we should go our separate ways it sucked but I could live with that and I respected you for your decision. Then when I saw you the weekend after at work, I smiled and waved at you to make sure you knew that I was not upset and to make you comfortable. Then later you wanted to talk. So we went outside and you told me that you would like to be friends at least that’s what I got from it. I don’t think you actually used thoughts words but I think that was the point of the conversation. So I was happy thinking well that’s cool we can talk still and hang around and talk on the phone here and there. Now it’s been a couple weeks and there has been no attempt on your part to contact me even though you know I no longer have your number. So I am thinking if I did not have to work would I have heard from you, probably not and would I hear from you by next weekend, again I think probably not. So I have come to the conclusion that you just had the whole talk to make yourself feel better and as you have done with others at the gym you would rather be friendly then tell me that your not interested. This to me is very selfish as I have always been upfront with you and have always wanted the truth that’s all. I am a big boy and can take anything you have to say. (Even if its Jamie your boring and I cant stand you!)If that is not the reason that leaves me to believe that it could be one of two things. One you would only call me if I were your last resort or two that we have way different views on friendship. I guess it could be a mix of the three. Anyway it doesn’t really matter what your reason is because I cannot go on with this, I would rather not talk then put on an act around each other. Saying this I don’t mean I would want to be rude or mean to each other but I can’t sit there and talk with you at work for an hour because I honestly don’t see a point. I don’t think my idea of friendship is unreasonable and I think if you were going to give me a reason why you have not called it would be your busy with school and work and only hang around with friends every couple weeks. When we were hanging out I was very busy as well, I was working 6-7 days per week, ran my business and still found time to hang out with you. So to me that’s a very weak excuse, people will find time if they want to. But again this comes down to me having stronger feelings for you and putting an effort in. This letter is in no way trying to put you down, I still think you’re a good person and I know underneath the front you put on there is a very kind hearted person but you are very self involved as I have been most of my life but I am trying to get out of that way of thinking. So in the end I think we are just at different stages in our lives and it would probably be best if we go our separate ways as you don’t seem to be willing or are unable to put an effort into a friendship with me and that’s ok, again it sucks but that’s life. If we are meant to be friends then it will happen and if not it was never meant to be, some people are meant to stay in our lives and some aren’t, that’s just the way life is. Now that I have written this novel to you I will leave it at that. You can choose to take this letter anyway you wish and if you want to talk about what I have said you have my number.

 

Best of luck,

Jamie

 

So that letter I gave to her sums up most of the events that have happened. What do you think and what do you think I should do any advice would be nice.

[moimeme]

It is murder on wheels to try to read a great big honking chunk of text like that. Please, please use paragraphs.

[bluechocolate]

I'm not really sure what it is you're asking here. Whether you've over-reacted or not is moot now - you've given her the letter - I can't see that there is much more that you can do.

[jamie23]

Well I just want people opinions if I have over reacted or not. There may be nothing I can do about it but its good thing to know so in the future I wont make the same mistake or whatever. Was I just in what I said in terms of what you know about the situation, was the letter mean sounding, was it childish of me to write this letter. I know you cant fully understand the whole situation from this post but from what I have written what is your reaction?

 

Thanks,

Jamie

[Bob47]

I don't know man. Sounds like that whole situation really sucks, and by her not talking to you you've figured out that she doesn't really wanna be friends either. The whole letter thing was your call, and in your position I don't know if I would have done the same thing or not. It might not have been necessary, you could have just gone with what you found out and lived your life. But again, it was totally your call.

 

I think she's really doing you a favor man. Most girls will tolerate a guy as a friend, even though they know he likes her, just because they don't want to hurt his feelings. What they don't know is that a friendship like that only serves to torture the guy because the feelings don't go away. She probably really cares about you, and doesn't want to hurt you in that way, so she wants to keep her distance. Go with it man. I know it probably hurts, but it's gonna be the best thing for you. If she doesn't want to contact you, it's not worth struggling over.

 

I'm not trying to be harsh. I just kinda wish that the girl I know had been that honest with me.

[jamie23]

Thanks for your reply, yes it does suck, its funny because I have had many girls that I have been interested in but this one has by far been the hardest to deal with emotionally. I am not depressed or anything of the sort but I think about her a lot and that still bugs me. I sometimes wish that she was a bi*** to me because then I would have a reason not to like her. But of course thats not the case.

 

I think your right about her liking me, I believe she honestly does, which to me makes it a lot harder to get past and makes me almost regret telling her how I felt to begin with. Everyone I know seemed to think she likes me and that I should give it a little more time before I told her how I felt, but did I listen of course not.

 

The whole deal with the letter was a mistake to, I should have just talked to her. I just find it easier to speak my mind by writing it plus my mind always seemed to go blank around her. Ha ha I don't consider myself to be a stupid person by any means but around her I felt that way at times because I would honestly forget the simplest things. She is the first girl to do that to me as well.

 

Anyway before I write a ten page reply I will cut it off at that. Like I said in the letter people who are meant to stay in our lives will and thoughts who are not wont. So there is no point worrying about it.

 

 

PS: No problem you were not being harsh at all. Even if you were I respect people who can speak their mind, harsh or not, because thats what I do

 

Thanks again,

Jamie