Romaks Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 The Honeymoon phase was over, and she can't expect you to be the one putting in all the effort because it gets tiring to be 'cute' 24/7. This is something she'll understand as she matures. There's more to a relationship then what she thinks. Link to post Share on other sites
jakesmake10593 Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 (edited) Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Edited October 6, 2013 by jakesmake10593 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mada10593 Posted October 6, 2013 Author Share Posted October 6, 2013 No I didn't lay over like a puppy and say okay I will don't worry. I said just be patient with me and you'll be surprised. That's what I did, I would surprise her time to time with things, notes, showing up without her knowing what I was going to do. Why did they stop you ask? They didn't the frequency of it stopped is what happened. If you keep giving and giving don't you think that would get old? That first year things are just crazy emotionally all for the good. Its called the honeymoon stage for a reason. Of course naturally over time the butterfly's didn't come as often. That's part of a relationship. We became each others best friends, we knew the ins and outs of each other. We knew each other so well. The best relationships are when you the two people are best friends. Sorry jakesmake is my other account Link to post Share on other sites
Author mada10593 Posted October 6, 2013 Author Share Posted October 6, 2013 Again, Do I have to say we both agreed to wait for sex until we are absolutely ready? I didn't just get laid and stopped being nice. Link to post Share on other sites
happydate Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 (edited) Are you suffering from a multiple personality problem having 2 accounts responding to each other on the same thread? You need to understand women first and that is, they are really human beings. They are not complicated to understand so I'm not sure why you think honeymoon stage is over. Some guys can extend the honeymoon stage over 4 years; and all he does is sex with her once a week and it can be done if you know your game well. Women like men have sexual needs and they will have sex with their dream man or fall back man if she got blown off by her dream man. You don't know for sure if you're the fall back man or dream man. Judging from your previous posts and how you act; needy, that you may be her fall back man! Probably a dream man surfaced after 3 years of waiting and pooof, you are gone. A woman always have sex in the back of her mind whenever she accepts the date, because where is it going to escalate if both of you get intimate? Could be 2nd date, 2 months or after marriage or after the first kiss. If you are her dream man, she'll stick with you like crazy glue even if you guys are separated or divorced. Take note of many women who have oneitis with their exes. They just couldn't get off not thinking about him or dreaming about him even though she's separated. And how many women would do anything to get back with their men even with sex after they got dumped? In this scenario, the women are their men's second best or fall-back option! Same deal! You need to understand this. If a woman truly loves you, she will give you many chances, which is why second chances work for those who have a DEEP EMOTIONAL connection in between 2 people. You just don't because all you told us was, you were quiet, a kind of a nice guy and does cute things and she fell for you. There are millions of nice guys out there that get dumped and rejected all the time because they are quiet, non-approaching and being nice and do cute things. So what is different between you and them? After all, is her who has the vagina and it's her call. You can spend 3 or even 10 years of your wasted life and she's gone. Sometimes, she's too insecure to leave the relationship and needs a man to park herself until her dream man comes along. Do you really want to be with a girl like that? Sex is never the main issue here. It's how she labels you as that is the main issue here. If you are labeled as a fall-back guy or the 2nd best, irregardless if you have sex 2 weeks, 2 months or even a year later, you are just her fall-back guy or number 2. It depends how horny she is too and how soon sex comes. She knows who is a fall back guy or a dream guy. It's always in her mind and some women aren't even afraid to talk about it too. She is an emotional being and does not run in an intellectual logic mode like us guys. So how do you know if you are her dream guy or fall-back guy or her being an attention whore for free dinners and dates and or a rules girl? Well, it all comes down to the first few dates. If she comes on really strong with absolute no hesitation and that you don't have to do any nice cute things to her and yet she does all the nice things to you to impress you and all the buying signals to get your attention that she's hot for you, you are her dream guy. Anything else is a fall-back. I'm smart now that I don't need to waste time and years on a fruitless relationship with a woman who will eventually dump me for another guy. These girls are too insecure to tell you the truth, so she'll ride on you. So then, why bother with the time, effort and money? When you date enough women, you'll know how to be more efficient in filtering out who's into you or somewhat playing you. Here's another tip. A woman's dream guy can play hard to get and being aloof even after a few months and yet still can get a date easily. Why not? A first choice always get the first priority from any woman. As such as you get this over your head, the faster you can heal. The only victims are whom who come here on LS and cry over why their girlfriends dumped them. Well sir, you are never her first choice! Good luck. Edited October 6, 2013 by happydate Link to post Share on other sites
Author mada10593 Posted October 13, 2013 Author Share Posted October 13, 2013 Anyway, a quick update if anyone cares. We have been talking off and on throughout the week, and everytime we do we have deep conversations over texting, never really a dull moment. She has initiated it, and I have as well. She still has a boyfriend although, don't really know what goes on from here. Link to post Share on other sites
Mariposa10 Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 Anyway, a quick update if anyone cares. We have been talking off and on throughout the week, and everytime we do we have deep conversations over texting, never really a dull moment. She has initiated it, and I have as well. She still has a boyfriend although, don't really know what goes on from here. Thanks for the update!! However, actions speak LOUDER than words. She must feel irresistible by having a boyfriend and her ex at her feet, I'm sorry but you're enforcing horrible behavior. That's why went NC on my ex, I didn't want dildo face to feel that way. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 Thanks for the update!! However, actions speak LOUDER than words. She must feel irresistible by having a boyfriend and her ex at her feet, I'm sorry but you're enforcing horrible behavior. That's why went NC on my ex, I didn't want dildo face to feel that way. Agreed. You can't reinforce bad behavior. I did the same thing with my ex, and it caused me a load of pain in the end. If you set boundaries, people will respect you more in the end. Also, you will respect yourself as well. When I was talking to my ex, I really lost respect for myself. I look back and think how pathetic I must have seemed. I think it comes to down to not loving yourself enough to walk away and cut your losses. I'm still working on that myself, but I can look back and see how I had no boundaries. It didn't make me feel good then, and I feel even worse now. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted October 13, 2013 Share Posted October 13, 2013 Anyway, a quick update if anyone cares. We have been talking off and on throughout the week, and everytime we do we have deep conversations over texting, never really a dull moment. She has initiated it, and I have as well. She still has a boyfriend although, don't really know what goes on from here. I wouldn't be wasting time on someone with a boyfriend. She is playing both and feeding her ego. She sounds confused and maybe not in the best place emotionally to even be in a relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mada10593 Posted October 13, 2013 Author Share Posted October 13, 2013 Yeah I lasted a month of no contact before she had her mini breakdown of simply wanting to see me. I truly loved this girl and I still do. I never begged for her back, I had enough respect for myself from the start to let her walk. When we talk its strictly casual, and kinda bring up old memories. I'm not going out of the way to talk to her at all trust me, I already don't have her so what does it matter really. It was 3 years of mylife she decided to replace with someone else, her cuurent boyfriend really I don't have respect for. If he truly cared for her, he wouldn't have rushed their relationship and let her cheat on me. Its tough guys it really is, hearing all your support helps. Would I take her back? Yes I would, she was my bestfriend, but she would have admit what she did was a mistake. Other then that what are your guys opinions? Probably will vary from move on and forget her or who knows what else. Iv held on so long already, do I let go knowing I held on? I try to believe she is confused and that she will realize the type of love we had can't be replicated so easy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mada10593 Posted October 14, 2013 Author Share Posted October 14, 2013 I give up actually. She just changed her profile picture to her and her boyfriend. I am just done Link to post Share on other sites
Mariposa10 Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 I give up actually. She just changed her profile picture to her and her boyfriend. I am just done Please, please, tell me you'll finally start ignoring this cruel pig. I can't believe she did this. Why are people so cruel?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mada10593 Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 Heres the update people. I am moving on with myself. She sent me a text saying "I will always love you and dont expect to get over you in snap of a finger, but when I am with " " him I feel like I am a different person then when I am with you, and I need to figure out which version of myself I like more". I told her to give me the day to think about it. I replied, I only care about your happiness. I left it at that, she said I know you do. Now I move on from here, no more hoping for me its been a pointless hope to hold on to since the end of July when we were officially done. Any tips on how to move on for myself? It's just hard to understand how someone you thought you loved and you thought they loved you, could cause you so much pain. I don't have regrets though, I did my best and gave her my everything. She isn't good enough for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Romaks Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 You're totally right man. I'm wrestling with this revelation myself. You move on, and just do what feels right for you. Try your hardest at everything you do, so that you have no regrets. If it's meant to be, trust me, it will. I've been reading crazy reconciliation stories, and to me, they show that the whole 'meant to be' thing must be true because there's just no other explanation. If it's not meant to be with her, it'll surely be meant to be with someone else, but live your life, put yourself out there, and take control. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mada10593 Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 I just read your story Romaks, and it all honesty it is very similar to mine. My girlfriend of 3 years felt "she hasn't experience life" that type of thing. Got curious what another relationship could offer. Now she is experiencing it and is happy from what I can tell. When she talked to me, she admitted she liked it because it reminded her of how things used to be and it was comforting and all that jazz. But none of that matters. What matters now is we both move on and do what we can do for ourselves and ourselves only. I did try my hardest for what I loved, and it wasn't enough, I don't have any regrets about trying to show her I was meant for her. Only time will tell what happens, but one thing to keep in mind is time always moves forward and we should along with it. Link to post Share on other sites
Romaks Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 It's a common theme that seems to be recurring around here. We both learned a lesson (the hard way), but now is a good time to learn stuff like this rather than later. If you think about it, that's kind of what we get for entering relationships at this age..i mean..what did we expect? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mada10593 Posted October 16, 2013 Author Share Posted October 16, 2013 Haha what did we expect, well I honestly thought the relationship I had would be one of those relationships that would of lasted through it all. Maybe its still in the process but I can't think like that, reconcillation only happens it seems once the dumper truly moves on with him or herself. Of course ill be sad the next couple weeks, its expected, with that being said I am prepared. Link to post Share on other sites
Romaks Posted October 16, 2013 Share Posted October 16, 2013 Haha what did we expect, well I honestly thought the relationship I had would be one of those relationships that would of lasted through it all. Maybe its still in the process but I can't think like that, reconcillation only happens it seems once the dumper truly moves on with him or herself. Of course ill be sad the next couple weeks, its expected, with that being said I am prepared. Yeah that's EXACTLY what I thought too. I never saw it ending. I'm so tired of thinking about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mada10593 Posted November 5, 2013 Author Share Posted November 5, 2013 Well everyone, I am here to post a success story for everyone. We are getting back together. She broke up with him and she realized it all hit her that he just wasn't right for her. She said she was so stupid and regretted everything and that it was a mistake. He turned out to be another guy just looking for tail in the end and she couldn't make an emotional connection to him like she had with me. I am very happy of course by it all. It's been over 3 months since we have been separated and she already told me the things I have done wrong before are fixed now. The main problem was I was "boring" I didn't have much of a social life before. I had to get one and I do have one with out her now. That appealed to her a lot now that I have plenty of new friends and everything. Other then that, she put a lot of what happened on her, with good reason I never did anything for her to do what she did, and she acknowledged it, that's all I needed. I don't want to give false hope to anyone. You have to be absolutely true your love was true and that you never did anything wrong. You HAVE to let them go in peace as well. When a break up happens, let it happen. Improve yourself, get out there, enjoy life, and always keep a spot in your heart for whoever it is. Because if you do this, they will come back it seems. Never give up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 Well everyone, I am here to post a success story for everyone. We are getting back together. She broke up with him and she realized it all hit her that he just wasn't right for her. She said she was so stupid and regretted everything and that it was a mistake. He turned out to be another guy just looking for tail in the end and she couldn't make an emotional connection to him like she had with me. I am very happy of course by it all. It's been over 3 months since we have been separated and she already told me the things I have done wrong before are fixed now. The main problem was I was "boring" I didn't have much of a social life before. I had to get one and I do have one with out her now. That appealed to her a lot now that I have plenty of new friends and everything. Other then that, she put a lot of what happened on her, with good reason I never did anything for her to do what she did, and she acknowledged it, that's all I needed. I don't want to give false hope to anyone. You have to be absolutely true your love was true and that you never did anything wrong. You HAVE to let them go in peace as well. When a break up happens, let it happen. Improve yourself, get out there, enjoy life, and always keep a spot in your heart for whoever it is. Because if you do this, they will come back it seems. Never give up. Our situation is similar, though I am pretty sure she isn't with anyone right now, I'm doing my best at NC and letting go and seeing what happens. It's been 3 months since our BU, it's hard and I'm still sad about it. Best of luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Fufu Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 Well everyone, I am here to post a success story for everyone. We are getting back together. She broke up with him and she realized it all hit her that he just wasn't right for her. She said she was so stupid and regretted everything and that it was a mistake. He turned out to be another guy just looking for tail in the end and she couldn't make an emotional connection to him like she had with me. I am very happy of course by it all. It's been over 3 months since we have been separated and she already told me the things I have done wrong before are fixed now. The main problem was I was "boring" I didn't have much of a social life before. I had to get one and I do have one with out her now. That appealed to her a lot now that I have plenty of new friends and everything. Other then that, she put a lot of what happened on her, with good reason I never did anything for her to do what she did, and she acknowledged it, that's all I needed. I don't want to give false hope to anyone. You have to be absolutely true your love was true and that you never did anything wrong. You HAVE to let them go in peace as well. When a break up happens, let it happen. Improve yourself, get out there, enjoy life, and always keep a spot in your heart for whoever it is. Because if you do this, they will come back it seems. Never give up. Blessings to both of you Link to post Share on other sites
Mariposa10 Posted November 5, 2013 Share Posted November 5, 2013 Well everyone, I am here to post a success story for everyone. We are getting back together. She broke up with him and she realized it all hit her that he just wasn't right for her. She said she was so stupid and regretted everything and that it was a mistake. He turned out to be another guy just looking for tail in the end and she couldn't make an emotional connection to him like she had with me. I am very happy of course by it all. It's been over 3 months since we have been separated and she already told me the things I have done wrong before are fixed now. The main problem was I was "boring" I didn't have much of a social life before. I had to get one and I do have one with out her now. That appealed to her a lot now that I have plenty of new friends and everything. Other then that, she put a lot of what happened on her, with good reason I never did anything for her to do what she did, and she acknowledged it, that's all I needed. I don't want to give false hope to anyone. You have to be absolutely true your love was true and that you never did anything wrong. You HAVE to let them go in peace as well. When a break up happens, let it happen. Improve yourself, get out there, enjoy life, and always keep a spot in your heart for whoever it is. Because if you do this, they will come back it seems. Never give up. How old are you two? I imagine she doesn't have the same profile pic anymore If I were you I would take things slowly, I don't really know how you can trust someone who seems so confused. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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