Why do we allow this to happen?

[solostand]

So been in affair with MM for one year. During that year, we would talk on the phone five to seven times a day - also saw each other almost every day and made love two to three times a week.

 

So last week MM had surgery and is stuck at home recovering. He's pretty sick but still phones at least once a day.

 

Yesterday, he did not call. I panicked. I imagined him dead - back in hospital - caught by his wife - or that he decided to go NC with me.

 

It absolutely ruined my day. . .I was having anxiety attacks and of course I can't phone the home phone because that would cause suspicion.

 

So he phones today and said he was sick and just couldn't get off the couch. But he misses me very much and loves me. Oh yes, he can't drive either!

 

I am so mad at myself for allowing a man to affect my mood to the point that I was a mess.

 

Gotta get a grip.

[Goodbye]

Yes, the very nature of the relationship..minus the obvious infidelity, is that it is completely inequitable with communication. It is crazy making. I couldn't take it.

[Cali408]

Solostand, this is why affairs are insane. They are an unhealthy addiction. You need to cut your phone calls back to once a day. If I didn't hear, i would get resentful and pouty. It was ridiculous and neurotic.

 

You're not going to leave it so you should do your best to manage it. Good luck.