Is my ex confused, cause I am

[TKDVIPERS]

My gf and I split up about 5 weeks ago now, it was because I rung her up drunk and she wsa pissed off and said she was seein someone else so that was it. A week later we end up sleeping togeather lying in bed in all morning, then I put nc for a month last weekend we met at a party she got drunk and we slept togeather again but before this all night we were talking, I told her it hurt when she gave me back my pic of me when I was in the royal marines, she said she didn't want to and could she have it back. Then half way through the night she told me that the week before we split up she was just havina week off from me and then I phoned her up and it all messed up. For the rest of the night we were just dancing and telling each other how hot each other were. She has kissed a few guys since we were togeather and I have splet with another girl. But she told me I was still the best kisser, she told me also that there is a guy who wears the aftershave I used to and she tells him not to because it reminds her of me. She asked me if I still where the tie she bought me and she says she wears the t-shirt that I got for her birthday (I got it for her when we weren't together about a week ago) all the time.

So we were dancing looking iat each other all night. Next day wartched a film on the sofa all cuddled up, then an advert came on tv for a tv programme marathon that night, I said I wanted to see it but didn't have that channel and she said I could go round and watch it with her. So I did Halfway through the night with both of us having weir body language she put the pillow in my lap and lay there, but had her arms folded. Then we started play fighting, she instigated all of it. My spy at her college wo was also at the party said that she spoke to her, and said she saw us, my ex said yeah I know and was all giggley, then my spy asked her if we were getting back togeather, and apparently my ex said no, but she said it like it was the only thing to say and her body language was like shrugginf of shoulders. What do you guys think, she is coming over next weekend, i live with her bro and his girlfriend to hang out for the evening with us. She is just 17 and I am 22 so she definatly needs to experince the world and stuff. But do you think that she is confused as to what she wants??? sorry for the long post I just think its relevent.

[EC]

Im more confused than the both of you after reading that post.

 

I think she might be a little young for you and you might want things right now that she doesn't. She's young and needs to experience life a little.

 

Do you want to be with her again? If so tell her. Ask her whats going on between the both of you? You won't know unless YOU ask her directly.

[TKDVIPERS]

Ok 5 weeks ago when I started the no contact thing, I asked her then and she said she doesn't want a relationship right now, when I said to her are we gonna get back togeather she said not right now. To be honest I'm not really sure what I want I love her and I think she loves me and some stuff she said to me at the weekend tells me that when we broke up it all sort of gotout of control and neither of us ment it to go that far.

Like when we slept togeather the first time after we split up she said she loves me and she miss's me, and she also said half of her felt like she was making a mistake. I think we are both more stable now to handle the way we feel without being togeather but there is still a spark there otherwise we wouldn't sleep togeather and dance and tell each other how much we feel and that. Just confusing.

[EC]

Ok I C it a little better now. I think she is young and confused.

 

And its so frustrating for you because she doesn;t know what she wants. Do you know if she is seeing someone else.

 

Because I had a friend who was 17 and she had been dating a guy for a year and a half when she met someone else. The new person was fun and exciting but it was hard for her to leave the comfort of her ex and so she kept confusing him because she was confused.

 

I think she's young right now and you are 22 and can find a girl your age. Someone on your level. But if you want to continue this, then I say give her, her space, and let her clear her mind. I would do NC until she comes to her senses.

[TKDVIPERS]

Thanks for the advice, nope shes not seeing anyone else, she has kissed a couple of guys but she doesn't want anything with them, she told me at the party last weekend that I was still the best kisser and being with me wasen't like being with anyone else. We both feel comftable around each other. I know this is a bit upfront but we had some realy good sex on saturday as well, she seemed to get alot from it. So we are meeting this sat not a date she is coming to mine (I live with her bro and his gf) and she is going to try mm for the first time. I am ust gonna talk to her every couple of weeks and just do fun stuff then have nc in between. Wot do you recon I have slept with another girl though I did in the first week of the break up is that bad??

[EC]

MM for the first time?

LOL

 

Hey man your a guy and shes a young naive girl. If shes confused and doesn't want anything serious and your ok with that then call her every couple weeks for a good time. What else can you do.

 

About you sleeping with another girl the first week after you broke up...OUCH. I don't know how she sees it but from my view I would be really pissed... and confused and not sure If I would go back to you either. I mean if she really does love you like you say I'm pretty sure that wasn't the best move.

[NiCoLe20]

ok sounds like u guys are just w/ each other to hook up which really isnt a good thing...u are comfortable around each other b/c u guys like hooking up w/ one another...doesnt seem like theres much base in the relationship other than that....i think she's too young. im 20 and my sis is 17 and iknow theire really immature at that age...well most of them...she may not be ready to be tied down yet you know... take it slow n c wut happens... how long have u known each other? im sure she doesnt know what love is at 17... id say find a college chick around ur age thats like 21.... ur both at the same mental level and things wouldnt be so confusing...hey its a thought

[TKDVIPERS]

Thanks for the advice, yeah I'd agree that most 17 yr old girls are immature and when we were togeather she had her moments. But she is so different. I'm not gonna get all "oh god come back to me your the one" The way I figure it she has to se other guys and she will get messed around by them.

When we sleep togeather its not just that after we curled up on the sofa and watched a movie, then she asked me to come to hers hat evening to watch t.v when i got there it was a bit strange at first we were mirroing each others body language alot then half way through the night she put a pillow in my lap and lay there. She had her arms crossed though, quite interesting. After we finished watching t.v she started the wholde play fight thing pushing each over off the bed. Then I stopped it and went home. I am just gonna give her space, she will see other boys but she said to be sat night that her life was not as grown up now and that she just needed to do that for a bit, I though ok cool. But then she said Before I come back. I don't like to think that was aimed at me cause I don't want to do the whole get your hopes up thing. A mutual friend of ours told me that she spoke to her at college the next day and when she asked my ex about me she went all giggley, then the friend asked if we were getting back togeather and my ex said no but not like a definate no noway thing more like no shrug her shoulders didn't know what to say.

I just don't want to ger back togeather for us to break up again in a year or something because she needs to do exploring or me for that matter.

 

God I ramble.

[TKDVIPERS]

She has no idea that I slept with that girl.

 

Hey we'll just see how it gos. I just feel like when we are togeather she likes it. I f she really wanted to distance herself from me she wouldn't come over or invite me. She is a really good mate though and I am gettin used to the idea of being just that. But I can see after a few monthsstuff happin. or maybe not only time will tell.

[TKDVIPERS]

magic mushrooms

[TranslucentThoughts]

Eeeek. Your situation sounds... confusing and odd.

 

I sort of feel bad for this girl. I'm 17 and I know how confusing this age can be. Especially when it comes to the opposite sex. Don't play mind games with her. If all you want is sex from her then just tell her that... and if you want an actual relationship, then you should let her know and not mess with her head. It does seem like she is confused, but you should ask her straight out what's going on. If she really doesn't know then you should tell her that you won't contact her until she figures it out.

 

You both need to decide what it is you're looking for with this... thing... you have going on between the two of you. And then take it from there.

 

If all you want is a hook-up now and then, you should establish that and make sure it's what each of you really wants.

 

Good luck with everything.

 

Oh, and whoever said that you don't know what love is at 17... is wrong. Maybe not all people at this age do, but some know what they want and are not as bubble headed as others may think. We have real feelings to.

[TKDVIPERS]

Ok ok hold up for a minute everyone. I am not a typical male who just wants to a good time. I deeply love and carw for this girl she is my best friend and understands me a great deal, she is funny and brilliant. But she split up with me so I am not gonna just sit about and do nothing corse I'm gonna see other girls. I do love her and she does love me I can tell by the fact of what happened last weekend I'm not talking about the sex I'm talking about her inviting me over and telling me all the other stuff she did.

I agree that a 17 year old can know what love is. But a 17 year old is also still exploring and won't realise that it was real love until they look back and I think both I and she knows this but she needs to experiment its part of her growing up. However she has alot of un with me she said that herself she can only watch certain t.v shows with me cause only I get it the same as her and none of her friends do. but she needs to go out with her friends and our relationship was getting tense. Don'tget me wrong I want her but I like knowing her and being part of her life and at the moment I think it would be better for us to do things togeather occasionally that are fun this way she will remember the fun times we had.

She is confused just by the way she spoke to our mutual friend at school and said we weren't getting back togeather but sounded and looked unsure about what to say.

 

I apprciate all your feedback and ladies you wanna give a guy some advice on where to take her and stuff to do, that will be fun. We can go for a movie then a drink and stuff but this weekend will be cool cause she and I and her bro and his gf are doin some shrooms so we sharing a good experience. What do you recon. Bottom line though I do Love her.

[TKDVIPERS]

Ok well we got back togeather sunday, after spending a brilliant friday night and saturday night togeather. We talked and she said she still had really strong feelings for me and that she thought they would go away but they have just got stronger. Thanks for everyones help.