C00kie Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 Regardless of your situation with MM, whether it seems like it's going somewhere or nowhere at all, regardless of the statistics, I would like to ask OW what does your GUT FEELING say about MM and if you'll end up together or not. Not talking about what you (desperatly) want to believe, but what your gut feeling tells you. I think gut feelings are ALWAYS right, but sometimes it's not what we want to believe...but it's there. What's yours? Your thoughts? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bentleychic Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 I think IF I am willing/able to wait until a specific thing to happen (which is supposed to happen by Summer of next year), we will be together. I have absolutely no doubt that he means exactly what he says and fully intends for it to happen and all signs are pointing to that very thing. It's funny, I used to worry that he'd leave me before the time came or he'd change his mind about me or he wasn't sincere. Now I worry more that I'll get sick of waiting and just not being able to/willing to hang around until it's time. I think the deciding factor is going to be more on ME than him which I never anticipated when this whole thing started. Link to post Share on other sites
Baby123 Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 My gut feeling told me he would leave- he did My gut feeling also told me it would not work out (for many reasons) and it was right! Link to post Share on other sites
legalgirl Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 I agree with Bentley. I think he will eventually leave, it is just whether or not I am willing to wait! Link to post Share on other sites
cat Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 My gut feeling told me he would leave- he did My gut feeling also told me it would not work out (for many reasons) and it was right! I agree with this. I don't think his marriage has a snowflake's chance in hell of working out. But I don't think we'll end up together. I can't imagine what he would do at this point to regain my trust. Yes, I'm hurt, and I do care for him. BUt it's broken. I don't want him. Link to post Share on other sites
Goodbye Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 My gut is that my exMM will continue to contact me for a long time to come...hoping to revive our R and restore my desire to be with him. But, he will not muster the fortitude to come clean to his wife and leave. Link to post Share on other sites
LilGirlandOW Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 My gut feeling is that MM/BS M is doomed, will he and I end up together, thats to be written, I'm indifferent. As a single OW, living a non-double life, my gut feeling also tells me, possibly a partner capable of holding up the double life for now a year, but heck thats a drop in the bucket compared to some A's.... maybe this partners not good long-term. I dont believe "once a cheater, always a cheater", but it hard to wrap my head around the person I love so much, and I know loves me so much too.... can lie so much, so easily and so often. I dont think my MM would ever cheat on me, but the possibility that he could easily lie to me, even about stupid stuff scares me. My gut is very wise, lol. My heart is an idiot. lol. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Daisy2013 Posted October 4, 2013 Share Posted October 4, 2013 No. We've downgraded to a phone contact only EM, friendship, whatever you want to call it. He will never leave even though he claims to love me and that he's miserable. He doesn't like conflict, so will stay where he is. Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 My gut feeling is that MM/BS M is doomed, will he and I end up together, thats to be written, I'm indifferent. As a single OW, living a non-double life, my gut feeling also tells me, possibly a partner capable of holding up the double life for now a year, but heck thats a drop in the bucket compared to some A's.... maybe this partners not good long-term. I dont believe "once a cheater, always a cheater", but it hard to wrap my head around the person I love so much, and I know loves me so much too.... can lie so much, so easily and so often. I dont think my MM would ever cheat on me, but the possibility that he could easily lie to me, even about stupid stuff scares me. My gut is very wise, lol. My heart is an idiot. lol. You are very wise LilGirlandOW to think this way. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
WakingUp Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 My gut feeling is similar to some above. He will never change the situation. He will continue to lie to both of us for as long as he is allowed to. Even if we ended up together, I would never really trust him. The lies just come too easily for him. WTF am I doing. Why am I lying to MYSELF. Every now and then LS dishes a hard slap of reality to me. Makes me feel physically ill. Yuck. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 my gut feeling says he will not leave his gf. He didn't the first time, why would he now? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
canuckprincess Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 My gut feeling is my mm will continue to sit on the fence and eat his cake until his bs or I push him off the fence. Right now he has the best of both worlds, ever since dday his wife is giving into his every whim and desire. She's doing more of the work to try to save the marriage then he is. Truthfully I don't know if I can be with a man that has the ability to treat the woman he claims to love like this. I do know that two years ago when I attempted to end the affair he decided to tell his wife all about me in hopes of an open marriage. She would hear nothing of it and instead forced us to continue without her consent. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Regardless of your situation with MM, whether it seems like it's going somewhere or nowhere at all, regardless of the statistics, I would like to ask OW what does your GUT FEELING say about MM and if you'll end up together or not. Not talking about what you (desperatly) want to believe, but what your gut feeling tells you. I think gut feelings are ALWAYS right, but sometimes it's not what we want to believe...but it's there. What's yours? Your thoughts? This is the truth. My gut feelings are never wrong, it's when I ignore them because it's not what I want that I end up kicking myself later saying "I knew it!" Not currently in an A, but at the time I guess it was different because from early on I remember saying that he couldn't have two women forever and when he had to choose he wouldn't choose me because I didn't make sense in his life or he mine, in terms of any kind of leaving. So there wasn't really this hope we'd work out kind of thing...it was more of a case of, this will end sooner or later, but if it works out I'd be pleasantly surprised. Link to post Share on other sites
solostand Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 My gut feeling is that DDay is coming VERY soon and when it does come, he will leave. He's already becoming very reckless. . .and his love for me is obvious to all who know us. Including my adult son, who he met last week. Link to post Share on other sites
Author C00kie Posted October 5, 2013 Author Share Posted October 5, 2013 My gut feeling has always told me we'll be together. Even in my darkest moments, when I was ready to throw everything in the air, something inside of me would say "stay calm. he'll do it". Can't explain it and don't want to hear this gut feeling to prevent myself from suffering. But thats what gut feeling tells me: he'll do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Anna-Belle Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 (edited) I didn't have a gut feeling either way whether he was leaving or not. I was satisfied as long as he was emotionally making progress in the right direction. I knew the reason he was staying in the marriage was due to deep-seated issues he needed to deal with in his own pace and as long as he was doing that I was satisfied. Whether he would ever progress far enough on his personal path to leave his marriage was not something I could determine. Luckily it was and he is now separated from his wife and continues to go to IC. Edited October 5, 2013 by Anna-Belle Link to post Share on other sites
Author C00kie Posted October 5, 2013 Author Share Posted October 5, 2013 I didn't have a gut feeling either way whether he was leaving or not. I was satisfied as long as he was emotionally making progress in the right direction. I knew the reason he was staying in the marriage was due to deep-seated issues he needed to deal with in his own pace and as long as he was doing that I was satisfied. Whether he would ever progress far enough on his personal path to leave his marriage was not something I could determine. Luckily it was and he is now separated from his wife and continues to go to IC. What's IC and how long did it take for him to leave? Link to post Share on other sites
LilGirlandOW Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 (IC=Independent Counseling) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LilGirlandOW Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 You're not single. Living apart from your husband, with no divorce filed, is married. We have been living apart for over a year now, My (x)husband has dated, we dont consider eachother SO's, its all paperwork left. We are seperated, have been for a long time. We dont consider eachother to be cheating if either of us dates. Whats your take on widowers? Link to post Share on other sites
LilGirlandOW Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Also the government in the developed country I live in considers my xH and I single entities from eachother. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmisscantbewrong Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 My gut told me all along that if it all blew up he would not choose me and he would throw me under the bus. I even wrote those words in a letter to him three weeks before it actually happened. He kept assuring me he would not - we would walk through it together. I should have listened to my gut and ran for the hills. That is one good thing that has come out for this for me - I will always trust my instincts from now on. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Anna-Belle Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 What's IC and how long did it take for him to leave? Individual counseling and we had been a couple for seven years when he left. Link to post Share on other sites
Anna-Belle Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 (edited) My gut told me all along that if it all blew up he would not choose me and he would throw me under the bus. I even wrote those words in a letter to him three weeks before it actually happened. He kept assuring me he would not - we would walk through it together. I should have listened to my gut and ran for the hills. That is one good thing that has come out for this for me - I will always trust my instincts from now on. I thought (and so did he) that he might crumble seeing her in pain but he stood strong and proclaimed his love for me. He never wavered. I'm glad I didn't give in to my fear of him throwing me under the bus since it was ungrounded. Edited October 5, 2013 by Anna-Belle Link to post Share on other sites
lilmisscantbewrong Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 I thought (and so did he) that he might crumble seeing her in pain but he stood strong and proclaimed his love for me. He never wavered. I'm glad I didn't give in to my fear of him throwing me under the bus since it was ungrounded. He proclaimed his love for me initially and to many people including his wife, however the people he surrounded himself with were very religious and eventually he could not speak those words anymore for fear of being yelled at ( he told me this). He was essentially beaten into submission those first few months because he craved the attention and wanted the respect of these people. Oddly enough it has begun to backfire on him and his family now almost four years later. Link to post Share on other sites
velvette Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 My gut told me he would leave and he did. But, more importantly I KNEW that I would leave if he did not within a reasonable amount of time. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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