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Can I fix this faster?


monkeymaid

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I keep thinking that since I was the one that pulled the trigger, I should do some chasing. Not just once. Dont you think that that makes sense? or am I thinking emotionally and with fear?

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Im feeling good today. I read some of the threads were people are really hurting and I am sending out some positive energy for all of you!

 

I think the trick for me is really sitting with the feelings and letting them hit me as hard as they want to and then when they want to go, I just watch them sail away.

 

I went to see bad grandpa today (funny as hell!) and found myself crying because I wasnt able to share the laugh with her. It lasted a few minutes, then it left me and I was able to continue enjoying the movie fully.

 

Im not saying im all better because lord knows I want her back still, but today I was able to take it in stride.

 

Also, instead of putting that message up on my website, I put up a page titles "For You", and it said "If you're reading this, your stalking me, and you just got caught :)"

 

Hope you all are making it through the night alright ;)

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This came after my friend hacked her facebook account and posted pictures of Jesus. Would anyone care to analyze? Im strangley calm today.

 

her: I'm not afraid of our relationship. Ive stuck with you through a lot and never ran away. We both just have a lot of work to do. I know it was a drunk thing but I figured whatever he thinks of me reflects how you think/talk about me. I just hoped you didn't think I was a bitch.

 

Me: Do you really think that's how I think/talk about you? ....I was there for you too remember?

 

 

her: I know you were. I don't think you think that about me. Its one of those things I know the answer to but i wanted to hear it from you. Well tell Chris to watch out... I might hack his Facebook and post some Moses pictures.

I'll tell him to put up pictures of Allah next time. ...How you doing?

 

her: Lol. I don't think Allah is in any pictures. I'm alright. I've been missing you a lot but I'm doing some really good work on figuring out me so that feels really good. I got a new car and I've been wanting to tell you about it since I got it but have restrained myself. How are you?

 

 

me: The fit?

 

her: Yes sir.

 

me: I hate knowing you so damn well. I'm good. got into a car accident though. Wanted to tell you too, but fighting this ****ing urge to. Get it back next week. do you like the car?

Me: You working on what you want?

 

 

her: OMG.. are you okay?? What happened??

 

 

me: of course I'm ok. I only had a few hairs missing. I just Gilles the other car off of mine and threw it in the ocean.

 

 

Me: Hahahhaha. Hulk not Gilles. Still hate this ducking auto correct.

 

her: Hahaha

 

me: ****ING!

 

her: Im sorry that happened. Its good that your hulk powers kept you from harm. How bad is the damage to the car?

 

Me: (1/2) Don't you remember how to play this game? I answer a question, then you. Its called a conversation. It's been SOOO long! ;) ...I can

Me: (2/2) understand your concern about me though so thanks.

 

her: Haha. I forgot how to converse... maybe because were not supposed to be conversing. I love the car! Definitely the right fit (pun acknowledged). Everything just worked, the price, mileage, navigation, i even like the color now.

 

her And yes, I'm working on things I want. Figuring out school stuff, career stuff. You know...

 

 

her: Not all at once though. Baby steps. Hows Richard and hypno going?

 

 

Me: Right because talking to me is detrimental to your progress. OH NO! Can't talk to him! Loves scary! Riiiiiight.

 

 

Me: Dr (therapist) and I are doing well. A real bromance :). Hypno is marginal. Gotta find a PhD with a hypno background. Met doesn't seem to be very effective. I don't really trust him.

 

 

Me: Mft*

 

Me: So you got the car I said you should huh?

 

 

her: Haha. It just made more sense. You did say it was my car.

 

Me: :-)* you love it when I'm right ...and I stole a kiss. WHAT!?

 

 

her: You didn't steal anything. I gave it willingly.

 

her: And yes... you were right about the car :) nicely done.

 

her: Why don't you trust the hypnotherapist? Just because he doesn't have a PhD or you just don't like him?

 

 

Me: I just am uneasy with him. He's gotten a little voodoo creepy on me. How's yours going?

 

Me: You would love grabbing my ass right now. So ****ing tight!

 

 

her: I still can't get hypnotized but I really like talking to her. She just has really good calming energy. Are you going to stick out the 6 weeks with voodoo creepy guy?

 

her: Lol. Have you been running a lot? Me: Yes I'm going to stick it out (lol) ...One of my personal goals is to do everything I said I was going to no matter how small or tired I am.

 

 

her: It sounds like you're doing good and that makes me happy. I'm about the walk into *the climbing gym* so I wont be near my phone for a while. 3rd time climbing this week :) I dont want you to think I just stopped responding.

 

Me: Stop worrying about me and go have a good time!

 

 

Me: Good job btw ; ). Bet that was is rock solid :p

 

Me: Ass damnit ASS!

 

her: Yes... dat ass is getting firmed up :)

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I never hacked her facebook, and I stopped the gmail hackin. I even told her about it yesterday when I told her about my friends drunken dumbness so she could change it. She was thankful i was honest with ehr though she was mad/upset, and its been about a week since ive done it.

 

I didnt have him do anything either. He was drunk off his ass and he was pissed at the girl hes dating because its a very similar situation. He thought it was funny,I apologized profusely for both my dumb actions and his. I told her as soon as he woke me up and she called me as soon as she woke up.

 

That was teh ensuing text conversation after the call. My question was and still is, what do you think about the text conversation?

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I know what you want it to mean. And I really, really want it to mean that for you.

 

But I don't think it does.

 

If she wants to get back together, she will say so. There will be on questions, hesitations, doubt, or lack of clarity. The only thing you can do. The only chance you have to be happy either way, is to force yourself to get over her.

 

If you were to get back together, you would need a new relationship, and not the old. That means that the only way to have a chance at a new relationship with her or anybody, is to get over her. Because any chance you have at a new relationship with anybody (including her) has to be new, fresh, and free of the old pain and issues.

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