Still-I-Rise Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 (edited) professionally! My soon to be ex-supreme pathological liar and his tramp in cahoots work in the same environment. She is a federal employee and he is a contractor for the government - nice conflict there. He also has a side business he sucks at and so does she - hers is web development. He reports very little of his income to the IRS and constantly lies about his financial situation and illnesses. Sometimes I want to throw a monkey wrench into their dramatic bull s..t by telling the truth. He gets so much debt mail to my home that it is sickening and I would rather forward it to her address so she can see who he really is. But, I am waiting until after the hearing. Each morning I check the news to see if I will hear of one or both of them being named as a person having met death/tragedy. (This I must cease.) My children do not believe I am angry enough at how their father has treated us - no financial support whatsoever - but I explained that while I am angry, some fights must be fought calmly, smartly and quietly. Edited October 5, 2013 by Still-I-Rise 1 Link to post Share on other sites
The dad Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 I know how you feel. I know my ex and my former friend are not compatible and at first I tried to warn her about his womanizing but she wouldn't listen. I finally decided to just give up on keeping them apart ( like I could anyway) and let them find out for themselves. She moved an hour away to his hometown and they got an apartment together. Less than two weeks later I found out that they were both arrested for domestic battery. She doesn't seem to be doing so good now and he's probably moved on to the next wife. In a way I feel bad for her, but I'm working on that. My point is that sometimes if you sit back and let karma do its work it will do so much more than you can. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Misadventure Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Is he not leaving there at home? Have his mail forwarded where his new "residence" is. Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Vengeance is one of the most small and petty emotions humans can experience. Don't do it because you know you are better than that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Still-I-Rise Posted October 5, 2013 Author Share Posted October 5, 2013 thank you all for helping me stay on the straight and narrow path Misa - he is gone and I will wait before forwarding his mail - he's changed some things Keenly -- my soon to be ex did some things to me before he left home that a good friend called beyond reproach My soon to be ex kept saying "you are better than that" before he left because he knew I wouldn't behave poorly. I will take your words as encouragement to stay the correct course and not for the manipulative admonition to stand down from my ex. I am not going to do anything that results in their harm but it burns me that I am so predictability civil. I am in soooo much pain right now but I know I have to be strong for my children as we have no other family where we live except one another. The dad -- I am so glad you got to see things work out for your ex. My ex would always call me fair and say I was too honest and at the end he told me he liked people who were low, like him. I used to take care of him...kept him alive with the aide of doctors...and this is the thanks I get. He has very poorly managed diabetes and every other year or so he is faced with serious infections - facing amputation and causing me to take significant time off from work to care for him. I did what I did in the service of a friend, husband and father of our children. When he left, I thought he was becoming sick, again, and was working on getting him to doctors, etc. Guess that's all water under the bridge now. I am angry, although quietly so, and I don't want him to win, again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
shattered Inside Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Hi, Lot of identifications again.... Sad, what he did to you but i would say that you are not the only one my dear fellow member suffering and going through this ...i have been carrying a cheater and above an alcoholic for 12 good years betrayed me once i forgot and than again...and now again i am done boss ...walk off you b****(sorry pardon me for my words)..Lot of anger and want to pay back her badly but than very rightly said by the other member " sometimes if you sit back and let karma do its work it will do so much more than you can. and believe you me i already seeing the sign how strongly karma make her paying back... I am a 38 years old man and now alone with the responsibility of a 7 year old Son but still i am ready to face the music because i know if she won't be around i will be a better father as its all on me now..Can't leave my kid with her as she is mentally unstable too..Yes i got ready to pay some maintenance not out of pity or feelings just a price to stay away from her forever...Bloody cheaters should be hanged till death:)cheating is a disease like a drud additiction it always come back believe me ..I hardly seen a person cheated once and haven't done it again ...they can never improve,its in the blood Take care of yourself and kids and wait for the right time to act ..Never leave any chance to make him pay heavily because one can't just ruin someone's life and walk away...I for more than 7 years carried the cheater just because she is mother of my Son but no more philosophical stuff .It goes same for her too ...Now her time to payback and i will make sure she does ..just waiting for the right time... Believe me this is the women i fall in love with in 2002 got married in 2003 ..there was a time it was hard to pass a moment without seeing her or talking to her..and now hatred and more hatred with every passing moment... May God Bless You and your kids with all the happiness ..Pray to God because in times like this it helps a lot:) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
M30USA Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 (edited) "There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs." (Luke 12:2, 3 NIV) Do you believe this? If you do, know that this verse will prove to be true--whether in this life or the next. I have personally tasted this verse myself. And I thank God for it daily. I have had my secret sins made known in public and, as a result, I have been redeemed and set free from them. There is no human being that this truth doesn't apply to. It applies to your ex, and it applies to yourself as well. Edited October 6, 2013 by M30USA 1 Link to post Share on other sites
2.50 a gallon Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 S.I.R. From one who has been in a similar state, my advice is to be patient and wait for the right time. Being able to watch the OM turn into a blubbering fool as his wife moved out on him, and his life fell apart, to quote a commercial, "Priceless!" 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GuyInLimbo Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 SIR, are you in therapy? If not, you need to make that call today. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Criticality Posted October 9, 2013 Share Posted October 9, 2013 (edited) Yeah. I think some therapy might be in order. First of all, all that anger means you're still letting him define you and affect you. And secondly, well here's the thing: You know how some people would say don't stoop to his level and you're better than that, and he'll get what's coming in the end? I always thought it was a bunch of feel good BS to say to somebody. I mean deep down you know that revenge feels so much better than a sanctimonious feeling of "I'm better than that" right? HE chose the game, why shouldn't you play a couple of rounds there? I'll tell you why: Cause the people that choose to get revenge, usually end up being consumed by it. And usually it drags on for years. They plot, they scheme they end up in courts for years, they make anonymous phone calls and get a reputation as "that crazy ex" by people who don't know the whole story. Usually they get their revenge. But by that point, it doesn't really feel that great anymore, because the last decade of their life has been defined by what happened two decades ago. And everyone have usually moved on, their kids are all grown up and rarely visit. Usually for the same reason why the person set on revenge never finds love again. It's not attractive. Love and kindness doesn't grow in places full of spite and hate. You can have your revenge, but it's rarely worth it from what Ive seen. Will he get what he deserves in the end? Maybe. Probably. I'm not religious, though I wish there was something like Karma and a god that punishes everyone who needs punishment. There ought to be, right? But people who screw others over, usually have a history of doing it over and over again. And usually somebody gets them back, and more, in the end. I'm glad somebody does. But I don't think I want to be that person, if you know what I mean. I don't think you would like it either. Edited October 9, 2013 by Criticality 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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