Gisss Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 (edited) Can't believe I found this! First of all, I'm not English so please do not criticise my spelling And then, well I'm almost in the same situation. I met my married man a year ago but I had never given him the possibility to conquer me Until 4 months ago when I accepted to go out with him for the first time. We had a lot of fun! He's the funniest guy in the world. He's intelligent, smart, cunning, cute, sweet, honest, not thaaat handsome but for me he's the most good- looking guy I could ever meet. We started seeing each other more frequently and yes, I fell in love with him. He says he loves me, too. But there is a problem. He says he loves his wife, too. He told me that he doesn't love her in the same way he loves me but I don't know.. They've been together for 25 years. He's 43, she's 39 and I'm 23. AND! there's something else... He told her he loves me and that he will never ever leave me because it was really hard for him to get me (one year in which he never gave up). She cried a lot but in the end she said "I don't want to lose you, I love you and accept everything you do and feel. If that's what makes you happy I'm happy. too". I don't know how it will all end but I love him as I never loved someone else before. W do lots of things together. She receives me in their house and we have meals together... It is like he has two women! I know she suffers sometimes but as she lives with him and because of all the time they've been together I also know she is more secure than me. I sometimes cannot control jealousy! I have days in which I ask myself whether what we're doing is correct or not and I suffer a lot. I have talked to him about this like 3 times already and he feels so bad because what he says is that I make him feel a bad person and that he can’t love two women. I tried to leave him twice but couldn't because he always convinces me that he really loves me. He promised to love me the rest of his life and give me everything I need but the only thing he asked me for was to try to understand his reality. I do not really know what to do. There are days in which I feel I can deal with all this the rest of my life but there are others (the fewer) in which I want to end it. I don't know how to feel more secure! He is so nice he is calling and texting me all the time I know he cannot spend days without seeing me. But the problem is ME! I have some kind of thoughts about morality that do not allow me to be completely happy as I wish... I don’t want to lose him, I appreciate everything he does for me I just want to learn how to forget about morality and make him happy. He does lots of things to make me understand that his feelings for me are real. I need advice on how to build more security on my so that I can go on with the relationship. If you could help me, I'd be greatful! Thanks a lot! Great page! Edited October 5, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
unicorn farts Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Why do you want to be with a man that would be so cruel to his wife and so indifferent to her suffering? I can't believe he would manipulate her to accept his mistress and even feed you in her own home. omg. That poor woman. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
AlwaysGrowing Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 Not sure if this is being the OW, sounds like a polyamory arrangement. Either it works for you or it does not. That is for you to decide. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gisss Posted October 5, 2013 Author Share Posted October 5, 2013 Well. His wife loves him so much that she doesn't want to lose him so she accepts everything he does. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gisss Posted October 5, 2013 Author Share Posted October 5, 2013 Yes. He says he loves both of us. The thing is that she has already accepted it so many years ago. He's always cheated on her but she never met any of his women. This is the first time he falls in love with a girl who is not his wife. This time it's different, he felt in love with me... I know it's difficult to understand because sometimes I don't even know where I'm in. They both know how it works but I don't :S Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gisss Posted October 5, 2013 Author Share Posted October 5, 2013 I think you are right. Nobody has told me all that before. So, thank you. Sometimes, I know that leaving him would be the best thing I can do but I don't know HOW! Hope I can do it before it's too late. Link to post Share on other sites
unicorn farts Posted October 5, 2013 Share Posted October 5, 2013 I agree with Pierre! You are a young woman, you should have a younger, single man that you can truly build a life and a home with. Good luck to you! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gisss Posted October 5, 2013 Author Share Posted October 5, 2013 I completely understand what you mean and my answer is yes. She doesn't imagine her life without him. But he's so charming that you can't tell him "no". In the beginning I could, but now I sometimes find myself acting like her. I simply don't know how to leave him. He's been a year after me, he never gave up. He's so persistent and he knows that I love him... I had my first time with him (Forgot to mention this "little" detail). Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gisss Posted October 5, 2013 Author Share Posted October 5, 2013 Well. Him being my first does matter to me because I'm 23 and was 22 when I had my first time and it was with him. I'm a fool I know. Thanks for your comment I know you're trying to help and you are =) Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gisss Posted October 5, 2013 Author Share Posted October 5, 2013 You're convincing me. Your argument is really convincing. I appreciate it. I promise I will try to leave him. That's a promise to myself. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
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