ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 Dear Aspiring, May be its a little different when ur ex was the one to propose marriage. he should be a little responsible to ur emotions a bit. Even friends dont turn their back like that.. was a hurtful situation. cried like crazy, not before him but after But yes, not gona be a psycho ex.. Actually, everyone who comes up n posts here that they are abt to break NC, evetualy get their dose lol n come back lamenting.. I was engaged to my ex who left. Once they leave, they aren't really responsible for anything once they leave. There isn't a binding contract that they have to follow lol. It sucks, but such is life. Just keep moving forward. I dont think the ex is a bad person or trying to screw with you or anything. Either way, just focus on you and moving forward. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Vinsanity1307 Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 It sucks I know....I am at 3 months post breakup and im struggling as well..It outright hurts in every way...Your not alone..I know how you feel... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nancy87 Posted October 6, 2013 Author Share Posted October 6, 2013 You dodged a bullet. Imagine if he'd married you, and then you ended up divorced EXACTLY what i am thinking. he fell out of love in 15 days. n before that he was pleading me, asking to neverr ever leave if anything bad happenes everr. This is how u identify a hypocrite human being! My heart is sad n broken. but today my brain accepts that THIS is his real face! he got a new job n now i am a story of past! All promises everything GONE! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nancy87 Posted October 6, 2013 Author Share Posted October 6, 2013 I know there is no binding contract! but still i expect that ex should be a little human towards the broken hurt heart! i hate him now! Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 You dodged a bullet. Imagine if he'd married you, and then you ended up divorced EXACTLY what i am thinking. he fell out of love in 15 days. n before that he was pleading me, asking to neverr ever leave if anything bad happenes everr. This is how u identify a hypocrite human being! My heart is sad n broken. but today my brain accepts that THIS is his real face! he got a new job n now i am a story of past! All promises everything GONE! If it helps, he was probably thinking about doing it for awhile, so one fight or anything didn't really cause it so don't beat yourself up over that. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nancy87 Posted October 6, 2013 Author Share Posted October 6, 2013 or maybe he cant stay with anyone for long term. 3 girls in 3 years.. he would definitely fall out of love with the fourth one as well! i am pretty sure! I was a fool and never brought to judgement that past is the best predictor of future! Though he did everything for me but then i guess he just gets sick of the same girl . Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nancy87 Posted October 6, 2013 Author Share Posted October 6, 2013 When i was with him, he would go on telling me non stop stories of ex and friends n how they hurt him n then he left bla bla sadist! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nancy87 Posted October 6, 2013 Author Share Posted October 6, 2013 I block him from my life now! Please keep on encouraging me to maintain that! and i will probably hookup with a close friend tonight! i stayed loyal for damn so many months! If that is what it takes to get over an asss! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nancy87 Posted October 6, 2013 Author Share Posted October 6, 2013 trust me its LITERALLY 15 days. He got a job n he got GIGS Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nancy87 Posted October 6, 2013 Author Share Posted October 6, 2013 u know he would kiss me even when he was deep in sleep... n last time we talked on phone before the breakup, i was talking n he was kissing continuously.. n now this.. JUST TOO DIFFICULT TO ABSORB! I cant study fellows, what do i do cant group study. its different with phd phew. Link to post Share on other sites
Stealth3 Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 If you dont mind me asking, how did the last conversation go like? Link to post Share on other sites
StrongLass Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 I know dear but THIS TIME RIGHT NOW. IS SO HARD! Challenges are merely opportunities with teeth. Tough it out sweetheart, we've all been there. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 Nancy, trying to understand the thought process that led your ex to break up with you is a torturous exercise. You'll never find an answer to these types of questions, mostly because there isn't one, but also because any answer you can think of will only serve to hurt you. Stop trying to understand him. You have no responsibility to him anymore. Focus on trying to understand you. I recognize that you are very busy right now but you need to get out more and you also need to go to therapy. Whatever you're doing to cope now clearly isn't working or else you wouldn't be on here with this thread. By saying no to even trying to find time for those, you're necessarily saying you want to stick with what you're doing currently that isn't working. Time to make a change in how you're trying to cope. You can do this! My grandmother always used to say, "This, too, shall pass." 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nancy87 Posted October 6, 2013 Author Share Posted October 6, 2013 This too shall pass. n then when he comes back anytime. i'll ask him to **** off right away! Gave me so much pain! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nancy87 Posted October 6, 2013 Author Share Posted October 6, 2013 If you dont mind me asking, how did the last conversation go like? his selfishness was tickling down every word he said! Link to post Share on other sites
ConfusedHumanBeing Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 It wasnt 15 days I assure you. He was planning on doing this for quite a while, just didnt tell you or wasnt incredibly sure. The disagreement sealed it. You are obviously hurting, but you have to get ahold of yourself 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nancy87 Posted October 6, 2013 Author Share Posted October 6, 2013 then he knows it all right for himself. Why does he manipulate me then, making me think that i left him which is why the breakup happened. Telling me time n again that I left him n i did bad! Its all MY FAULT! what a manipulative bastard! Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 I've found that there are times I get really sad over my ex, but they don't last. They actually have become fewer. I make it through those times by distracting myself and reminding myself that it's a waste of time to think about the relationship. If you can keep making it through those times, they will eventually fade. Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 I know there is no binding contract! but still i expect that ex should be a little human towards the broken hurt heart! i hate him now! We dumpees often hold our exes hostage, we want retribution in the form of anything. However, what we lack to acknowledge is that we are simply imprisoning ourselves by doing this. We subliminally remain linked to them always thinking they have some atonement to do. It's difficult to let go, I understand and as previously stated, once they walk they are gone, it's over with. I view my ex as a stranger, albeit I have not seen her in roughly 5 months and know absolutely nothing of her whereabouts. At the end, it's much better this way as cliché as this may sound, ignorance is bliss. What you must do now is work on the hatred you have inside you. Again, you are inflicting all these emotions on yourself. Ruminating hinders your recovery process. Start focusing on yourself and accepting that it's time to start moving forward with your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 Stop trying to understand how he could change so quickly as you see it. Most people on here tell the same story. They changed overnight. They used to do this and that. They told me is was forever, I was the best, greatest, they had never felt this before. The list goes on and on. Don't buy into that hype. My ex told me I was the best thing to happen to him 3 days before he dumped me. It happens. Link to post Share on other sites
eric85 Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 You dodged a bullet. Imagine if he'd married you, and then you ended up divorced EXACTLY what i am thinking. he fell out of love in 15 days. n before that he was pleading me, asking to neverr ever leave if anything bad happenes everr. This is how u identify a hypocrite human being! My heart is sad n broken. but today my brain accepts that THIS is his real face! he got a new job n now i am a story of past! All promises everything GONE! Your breakup is very similar to mine. She used to always make me promise I would never leave her no matter what and she always wanted to be with me she knew I was the one. And about two weeks before she dumped me wrote me the most incredible letter spilling her heart out about how she felt about me and it was wonderful. It reassured me(or so I thought) that her feelings were still the same as mine. Then we had one small fight and that was it, she went cold. We talked a few days later and she said she didnt know what she wanted anymore and that right now we couldnt be together. I can't explain the misery that took over me after those words, it lingers 24/7 and will probably never go away. It felt like my heart was ripped out of my chest and stomped on over and over and over. I will never love anyone EVER like I loved her, if I can even ever love again Link to post Share on other sites
reddragon588 Posted October 6, 2013 Share Posted October 6, 2013 Why does he manipulate me then, making me think that i left him which is why the breakup happened. To try to relieve his own guilt. No one wants to think they are to blame for anything. It's easier to leave the blame on someone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nancy87 Posted October 6, 2013 Author Share Posted October 6, 2013 I couldnt sleep all night, i feel sick to my stomach n my heartbeat accelerates Torture Link to post Share on other sites
JDPT Posted October 7, 2013 Share Posted October 7, 2013 Try to relax, don't play the conversation over and over. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nancy87 Posted October 7, 2013 Author Share Posted October 7, 2013 22 Things For Twentysomethings To Remember After Breaking Up - Tips For Dumped Twentysomethings - Cosmopolitan Link to post Share on other sites
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