WTF i have never heard this before!

[SoleMate]

What is all the "delayed proposal" business? As far as I am concerned, the proper time to ask a woman to marry you is within 24 hours of becoming certain that you would like to marry her. I am totally baffled by the statement, "I was going to propose to her next year." I'll have to take that as an honest assessment, instead of just after-the-fact BS, but I still don't get it. Once you KNOW what you want to do...DO IT. I don't think there is 1 woman in 100 who would want a desired proposal delayed for ANY reason. And there are many driven to frustration and breakups by waiting too long for an overdue offer of marriage.

 

When and if I ever am sure that I want to marry again, I will not be shy about letting the object of my affections know that, immediately.

 

MEN...WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Talk about marriage - think it through carefully - make sure you're on the same page - and when you are ready to go, DO IT.

[billybadass36]

A lot of guys might be waiting until they arrange for financing for or for delivery of an engagement ring. Question: do women really want to marry their SO's or do they just want some bling on their hands, the attention they get from the pre-wedding period, etc...

[blind_otter]

I just want someone to grow old with, watch samurai movies with, MST3K all the shows on the food network with...someone who will be there when I am hugely pregnant, and still want me sexually, someone who will help me with my complete idiocy in finances...I don't want bling. Some women may. Mostly, we want to feel secure.

[rtobiejr]

Originally posted by blind_otter

I just want someone to grow old with, watch samurai movies with, MST3K all the shows on the food network with...someone who will be there when I am hugely pregnant, and still want me sexually, someone who will help me with my complete idiocy in finances...I don't want bling. Some women may. Mostly, we want to feel secure.

 

Amen.

[mytwocents]

I heard that waiting three years is a good idea, because that would give both of you time to go through changes and weather the storms of your relationship before committing long-term. But it varies for everyone. You know when you're ready.

 

I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months and a lot of the time has been very difficult for me, just because my life was crazy. He stood by me and supported me, and now I'm at a point where it's all turning around. I want to get married, but I'm willing to wait if I know the marriage will have a better chance of lasting. Good luck to you.

[MJTig]

Depends on age, the couple and the circumstances. My DBF is in Dental School long distance and we aren't even getting married until 2006, and engaged any day now. We have been together for 4 years when engaged. I know he will ask me, he talks about "us" and the future all the time.

 

Don't believe all the shoulds and have-tos. Do you feel as though things are okay in your relationship in your heart? If so, great. If not, talk to him about it.

[CurlyIam]

I've had a long relatinship once. I tell you, the 2 years rule is for real. In my case at least. The first year regards discovering eachother, the second year is the one deciding that you are mant to be together for always -as in not wanting to go home, wanting to spend more time together, talk more until the feeling that s/he's the one.

 

If you don't get this feeling - I know, you think I'm crazy - you'd better split. And that you're good together. And that he feels the same way.

 

Here's a tricky part.

 

If you don't act on it, this funny little feeling will certainly wear off. In my case it did. Most all of my friends went through it also. One of my exes friends split up from his 4 years gf, met another woman at New Year's Eve party and ended up marrying her 3 months later. His ex was just not the woman he wanted to marry.

 

I may be repeating myself. I only know 2 couples from all the friends I knew in solid (more than 3 years)relationships that are still together.

 

I think, after a while, you just know if he's the guy.

[mt_joy]

I think around 2 years is a good timeframe. I wouldn't expect it, but I wouldn't want to wait years and years either if I KNOW this is who I am suppose to marry.

 

Joy

MT Student

[sumdude]

Sheesh, to each thier own. 2 years is reasonable. So is 3, or is it 4? Hmmm maybe 5.....Have expectations but don't put a deadline on your relationship. If this is all you think about your relasionship might suffer. Only you and your love know what's going on in your lives, when you're ready for a next step or what you expect from each other. So talk about it, in a conversation. Just a what if or what do you think about____. That kind of communication is where you learn even more about each other and how compatible you are. He might say "I could see 3 years from now." and so on. You'll find out what you're willing to wait for etc etc etc. COMMUNICATE!

[k_lily]

Originally posted by alphamale

BULL-ONEY it is my formed opinion. this 2 yr rule is what most relationship and dating experts agree to.

 

And it sounds OK to me, dating someone for 2 yrs gives you enuf time to get to know them and form a sound opinion AND it keeps you from wasting 10 yrs with someone who will never marry you.

 

Also, the 2 yr rule applies more the older you get. When you are 23 you have time to kill, but when you are 35 many are under the gun to get married.

 

Don't write a check your butt can't cash. You can't back anything you are saying, the fact is (and we've heard it before) this is merely your opinion. Mine, personally, is that it can't be determined in time. To give you an example of the "other side" my aunt and uncle dated for eleven years before getting married, and this June they will celebrate their twelve year of marriage<gasp> TO EACH OTHER!!! So I say craziness to your "theory."