Friends w Benefits not consumed relationship and he is already ignoring me!!

[blueicephoenix77]

OK, well I guess I messed up big time by playing a little game, but before I start let me tell you that I am someone who got out of a really bad marriage (he almost killed me) so I am not looking to have a committed relationship in a very long time, but I am open to a fwb relationship, (I had one that lasted over a year which worked wonders for me because there was no drama or attachment unfortunately he moved away for work) so after few months I decided to see if I could have the fwb arrangement with a friend of mine, of course with him I was a little anxious as to his reaction because he has always been the typical good guy, and we work across the street from each other,(narrow street) so to test the waters I send him a txt as a secret admirer (stupid right?) and he txted back, he actually warmed up to the idea, his text weren't sexual they were more like why haven't you said anything or why haven't you kissed me, stuff like that and when the meet up subject came up he said he will let me know about the day I had proposed, so because of other stuff I have going for me I didn't contacted him again for 3 days, and he didn't either, so on the 4th day I initiated contact again, because it was the day i had proposed and i wanted to see if he was going to make the time (of course he didn't know it was me yet) and so after i sent the text he immediately called back and we agreed to a certain hour, and then the meeting happened and everything went south so to speak, when he saw me he was really surprised, while we talked he told me he had his suspicions it may have been me since he received the first message because the first thing he did was to look over where I was at, but he wasn't sure, he also asked me if i had mentioned something to a mutual friend, which i hadn't and i told him so, we also talked about obviously not telling anyone as that can cause trouble for him and for me, families are very old fashioned and we are in a very small town where everyone knows everyone, so I also told him that because I had proposed fwb didn't mean he had to accept, if he wasn't up to it, that was fine so when he told me he just had to think about a way to see each other out of town with our crazy schedules, so I assumed (wrongly) he had accepted and so I asked if that meant that we were going to go forward with it and he said yes, and that he will let me know about the "way", anyways the next day i saw him and I was being careful with the people around but i somehow had the feeling he was avoiding me and ignoring me in a big way because he didn't came around at all or looked my way and later he didnt come to work around the time i was working (he drives a cab) and then the same way he hadn't sent a txt before he knew it was me (the 3 days we didn't have contact) he hasn't contacted me either to set up a day or whatever, and so I haven't either, because I already put myself out there (feel more like offered myself obviously) and i fear that sending him a message may come in as dramatic, if he is really ignoring me at least i can retreat with some dignity... i guess my ego is hurt, because we didn't even have sex or kissed (were at a public place) when we talked and the last fwb called within a day after we talked, so it hurts my pride as a woman, but he is really not that interested, and felt even worst today when i saw him and he was talking to someone other guy, i didn't say anything out of fear of being ignored just waved real quick and turned away, he didnt wave back, I supposed I wasn't what he wanted, so its ok, so like i said he is not interested how can i act on monday when i go to work so that it doesn't show my pride is hurt? I even thought about sending him a message (it will be a week on monday since we talked) and see if he responded as that day when we set it up but i am afraid of feeling rejected again... :o

[StrongLass]

All I'm seeing here is "blah blah she said he said blah blah he said she said"

 

Tell the guy what you want and ask him if he can give it to you. If he can't MOVE ON to another one. After all, you're not asking for a relationship, just FWB.

[blueicephoenix77]

Thank you, I followed your advice and called him today after I saw him (we couldn't talk freely 'cause other people were there) to see if he we could get 2gether or if he had second thoughts about my proposal since i saw him kind of uncomfortable that way I would just move on, he did tell me that he has had personal problems and hadn't called because of it, but that we were still on for it and he will call as soon as he gets all those issues sorted out, to me personally I think its BS so I will move on, I mean if he really wanted to get together he would call regardless... i just hate that he agreed to something only to not follow through and my ego getting hurt because of him not calling to get together... does that make any sense?

[Beautiful diamond]

It's time to stop contacting him. He is being disrespectful. If you continue chasing him, your friendship will likely end. Now it's time to forgot it ever happened.