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I am waaaaayyyyyyy to jealous...can I fix this?

IhavenoFREAKINclue

By IhavenoFREAKINclue,
in Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being

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IhavenoFREAKINclue

IhavenoFREAKINclue

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I am probably the most jealous person on the world. I get jealous when my Best friend calls my ex-BF (to see where i am). When my ex talks about what he did. When we were together, he was selling his car and his old friend (who is a girl) called i guess about his car and before i even knew this i answered the phone and said that he doesn't want to talk to you. And hung up. He got mad b/c i didn't even let her talk about why she called. Is there anyway to stop this?

Believe me, there's more. I's jealous of his relationship with his sister-in-law, mother, whole family (b/c i don't have that connection w/ mine). But why should i get jealous if he went out to dinner and i didn't?!?!?! I'm talking trivial things

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alphamale

alphamale

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Jealousy shows lack of trust, insecurity, stupidity, arrogance and a major lack of confidence.

 

Sure we all get jealous but there is a big difference when you REVEAL your jealousy vs. just keeping it under wraps.

 

It is ok if jealousy rears its ugly head once in a while.

 

But in the meantime if you keep the jealousy bottled up a bit more you will come of as more secure and confident.

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Jilly10340

Jilly10340

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I think it might be a trust issue, that's what it was for me.

 

But I just figured...you know, if my bf was going to cheat on me or lie to me, he would do it whether I trusted him or not. So, I can not trust him and be constantly ate up with fear and jealousy, and then be extremely hurt if he would ever cheat on me.....or I can trust him and be happy, and then be extremely hurt if he would ever cheat on me.

 

It's the same thing really, except in one instance you're actually happy in your relationship and in the other your constantly worried and unhappy. You pick.

 

Once I realized this fact, I haven't had a problem with jealousy. Actually, i'm much happier.

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alphamale

alphamale

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Originally posted by Jilly10340

But I just figured...you know, if my bf was going to cheat on me or lie to me, he would do it whether I trusted him or not.

 

It's the same thing really, except in one instance you're actually happy in your relationship and in the other your constantly worried and unhappy. You pick.

 

Once I realized this fact, I haven't had a problem with jealousy. Actually, i'm much happier.

 

 

You are correct Jilly. One person is only in control of 50% of the relationship. You can never have full control over the other person and most will do what they want when they want.

 

The harder you squeeze to keep someone the more they will try to wriggle their way out of your tight grasp.

 

You MUST have confidence in you ability to "keep" someone with you. And one of the ways you can do this is to show no or little jealousy.

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whichwayisup

whichwayisup

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But in the meantime if you keep the jealousy bottled up a bit more you will come of as more secure and confident.

 

Typical Male response! LOL! Keep emotions and thoughts bottled up! Ignore the problem then it will go away. That right there is why us women have problems with our men because THEY DON'T TALK about what is bugging them!!! How do you fix something when the other person won't talk about it??? Sorry, don't mean to go off on you, but realistically to get over jealously you have to work on it, want to change and become stronger and more secure by finding out why and what it is that really makes you feel that way. Sweeping it under the rug will just hide it for a while, but it will always come back out if you don't deal with it!

 

Maybe finding out why you feel this way, go back into your childhood, relationships with siblings and parents or other friends could lead you to answers. Past relationships could be a factor as well.

 

Do you trust this guy? Like maybe he's not making YOU feel secure.

 

Keep posting!

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Swoup

Swoup

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But if you let your emotions out your personality might change. And that would be baaad.

 

...

 

As opposed to keeping them inside ..... and having your personality change...

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alphamale

alphamale

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Originally posted by whichwayisup

But in the meantime if you keep the jealousy bottled up a bit more you will come of as more secure and confident.

 

Typical Male response! LOL! Keep emotions and thoughts bottled up! Ignore the problem then it will go away. That right there is why us women have problems with our men because THEY DON'T TALK about what is bugging them!!! How do you fix something when the other person won't talk about it??? Sorry, don't mean to go off on you, but realistically to get over jealously you have to work on it, want to change and become stronger and more secure by finding out why and what it is that really makes you feel that way. Sweeping it under the rug will just hide it for a while, but it will always come back out if you don't deal with it!

 

 

Sorry WHICHWAYISUP:

 

But most average people feel jealousy and envy hunderds of times per day. You know when the neighbor has a bigger HD TV than you do or when you see someone driving a much more expensive car than you. Or hunderds of other examples.

 

I see women checking out other more beautiful women all day long cause of envy and jealousy.

 

So everytime we feel these emotions we should express them in public??

 

You're nuts!

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whichwayisup

whichwayisup

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Sorry WHICHWAYISUP:

 

But most average people feel jealousy and envy hunderds of times per day. You know when the neighbor has a bigger HD TV than you do or when you see someone driving a much more expensive car than you. Or hunderds of other examples.

 

I see women checking out other more beautiful women all day long cause of envy and jealousy.

 

So everytime we feel these emotions we should express them in public??

 

You're nuts!

 

OK I am talking about major jealously issues, not day to day issues...I think you kinda ran with what I said and applied it to the wrong areas of life.

 

Hey! I know I'm nuts and proud of it! Thanks for the compliment! ;)

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IhavenoFREAKINclue

IhavenoFREAKINclue

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Ya know the funny thing....IM THE ONE WHO DOES'T TALK!!!!!!!!!!! I always bottle stuff and don't try to tell me "That's bad" "That's not healthy"....I'm okay with bottling things up. I don't have to talk to feel better...for me...not talking and brushing it off...helps me out A LOT!

 

Anyway.......i think the reason I'm so jealous is b/c when i was younger....my family was on welfare and I never had ANYTHING to be proud of. No shiny new bike or nice clothes. Do you think that has to do with it?

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sinkerswim

sinkerswim

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Unfortunately I am the same way...its not from lack of confidence..I just dont know WHAT it is..I wish I wasnt this way!!

 

Im not too too bad...but I definitely get jealous from time to time. :rolleyes:

 

But you know what? I know im an awesome person...

Screw everyone!! LOL!!

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